


Open Up Your Broken Heart (and Keep on Wanting)

by alistoney



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Bondage, Bottom Harry, Dom/sub, Emotional Manipulation, Flower Child Harry, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Homophobia, Jealous Louis, M/M, Pain Kink, Panic Attacks, Pining, Punk Louis, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Tattoo Shop/Flower Shop au, Top Louis, blowjob, but not really, but only vaguely mentioned, handjob, kind of, louis gets smashed alot, narry friendship, only a bit, zouis friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-07
Updated: 2016-04-07
Packaged: 2018-04-08 05:39:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 49,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4292811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alistoney/pseuds/alistoney
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis works in a tattoo shop and rides a motorcycle</p><p>Harry wears flowers in his hair and does yoga in the morning</p><p>Somehow they fit</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I

**Author's Note:**

> Wow I havent posted something in a long time. This is something I've been working on for a while on and off and I'm determined to finish it now. So yeah. 
> 
> Title from Keep on Wanting by The Fray
> 
> Russian Translation here: https://ficbook.net/readfic/6122691

Louis is late

And not even a few minutes late like he usually is, he's fucking two hours late! Tom's going to kill him!

And to make it even worse, Louis was supposed to open up the tattoo parlor this morning, so he has the only set of keys. Which means Tom and Zayn have been stuck outside for two hours.

Yeah, Tom is definitely going to kill him. And probably Zayn too. But Louis' more scared of Tom.

He quickly rummages through his closet for his favorite leather jacket and hastily runs a comb through his red highlighted hair, forgoing his usual quiff as it would just make him even later, and quickly jams his feet into his bright red Toms, the only piece of clothing on him that isn't black.

He sprints out the lobby of his building, sparing Liam, who works the counter a hasty wave and then making his way to his motorcycle, out of breath.

Yes, motorcycle. No, he is not a cliché.

After a ten minute drive in which Louis' pretty sure he breaks a million traffic laws, he finally turns into the small rundown street that Wildfire, the tattoo parlor is located on.

The first thing he sees is a glowering Zayn. He has his arms crossed and is glaring intensely at Louis' approaching form.

"Where's Tom?" Louis asks cautiously as he makes his way to the other boy. He looks around carefully to make sure Tom isn't lurking behind any bushes ready to surprise attack him (it's happened before) before going to unlock the door of the shop.

"He had to go home and watch Lux, she's gotten ill and Lou needs to get to work." Louis sighs in relief at the prospect of not being killed.

"Oh thank god, I thought he was going to kill me"

"Don't think you're off the hook, I could still kill you."

"You couldn't hurt a fly"

Zayn sticks his tongue out immaturely and it looks so odd coming from a person with all black clothes, at least a dozen tattoos and multiple ear piercings that Louis bursts out laughing and can't stop for 5 whole minutes.

"You're a twat"

"And proud"

***

2 hours later when Tom returns, he gives Louis a boring lecture about punctuality and moves his lunch break back an hour as punishment.

Louis is in a bad mood for the rest of the day after that and grumbles to Zayn about how unfair Tom is being.

"This is just cruel! A man needs to be able to eat at a reasonable time."

"I'm not backing you up mate, you made me wait outside the shop for two entire hours, you fully deserve this."

"Do not, this is actual bloody torture. If I don’t get some sort of food into me right now I swear I'm going to die"

Louis flops onto the counter dramatically and glares up at Zayn, who is eating Chinese takeout happily.

"Don't be such a drama queen, it's only one hour, you’ll live"

"At least let me have one bite? Please?"

Zayn frowns down at Louis' face squished against the counter so Louis tries to put on his best puppy dog eyes and look as pathetically hungry as possible.

"No, I'm immune to your cute face by now."

Louis grumbles in annoyance and tries another plan of attack. He pounces at the food resting on Zayn's lap and tries to get a spoonful of the fried rice.

Zayn retaliates by snatching the food out of Louis' hand and tackling him to the ground.

He straddles Louis hips, holding him down and reaches up to his stool to grab his plate of food

"Just for that you're going to watch me eat it." He puts a large spoonful of rice into his mouth and Louis' mouth starts to water, stomach grumbling pathetically.

"You are a terrible person Zayn Malik" Louis tries to squirm out from under Zayn’s thighs but he's stuck. He really should work out more.

He's saved when Tom almost trips over them as he leads a customer to the counter.

"Oi you two get off the floor and start doing some work or I'll push your lunch break back even later."

Louis' eyes widen comically and his stomach grumbles again.

"Oh hell no, Zayn get the fuck off of me this instant, I'm not going to have lunch two fucking hours late that's not even lunch time anymore." He pushes at Zayn’s thighs in frustration and blows his fringe out of his eyes.

"I've already had my lunch break so it doesn't matter." Zayn grins down at him evilly. Louis has the worst best friend in the world, the worst.

"I'll just move yours back tomorrow Malik, get the fuck up." Tom calls from the other side of the room and Zayn quickly scrambles to his feet.

"You are the worst best mate in the history of best mates" Louis informs him as he pushes himself off the floor as well.

"It's your fault for trying to take my food."

***

Once Louis' lunch break finally arrives he runs out the door, ready to sprint all the way to the coffee shop before he actually dies of starvation, but stops short at the  
commotion coming from the shop next door that has been abandoned since before Louis started working at Wildfire, which is to say, a long time.

"What the?" He mutters to himself and walks up to one of the men who is setting down a shovel in front of the shop.

He smiles as politely as possible before tapping the man on the shoulder "Hi, just wondering, what are you lot doing with this shop here?"

The man turns around and smiles down at Louis.

"Well son, someone's bought this place and wants to turn it into some sort of shop. We’re here to get it back into shape."

Louis tilts his head at that, it'd be nice to have another shop around. The only ones on the street were Wildfire and the coffee shop down a little ways.

"Do you know what kind of shop?"

"No clue"

After the exchange Louis makes his way to the coffee shop and flops down in a stool facing the counter. Eleanor waves at him as he sits down.

"Hey Lou! The usual?"

Louis nods and hums happily when Eleanor sets a Scone and piping hot cup of tea in front of him.

"Isn't your lunch break at noon? Why're you so late?"

"Tom was being a dick and moved it"

"I'm sure you deserved it" Eleanor sits down in front of Louis and rests her chin in her hands. Her long hair falls onto the counter and Louis is reminded of how much she had hated her short hair back when he'd first met her. She had been so different five years ago.

"I guess I kind of did." Louis agrees, "I was 2 hours late to work this morning."

Eleanor laughs, "How are you still alive? Knowing Tom he would have killed you for that."

Louis shrugs "I'm just lucky he has a soft spot for me I guess"

Eleanor smiles and then looks out the window at the sudden clang of a drill from outside.

"What's going on over there?" she asks, shifting her gaze to Louis, her eyes laced with curiosity.

"I asked one of those guys that before coming here actually. Apparently someone’s bought that rundown dump, can't imagine why. They're going to open up a shop."

"Wildfire's finally going to have some competition" Eleanor wiggles her perfectly manicured eyebrows.

Louis rolls his eyes. "I doubt any sane person would buy a shop next to a tattoo shop and then open up their own tattoo shop. That's just idiotic."

***

Louis returns to Wildfire an hour later to finish his afternoon shift and as soon as he's made himself comfortable in the chair behind the register a man walks in, probably around his mid-thirties. He has gray eyes that seem dull and sad and a faded dusting of freckles across his nose and cheeks, his lips are curled downward into a frown, yet Louis can tell from the laugh lines around his eyes that he used to smile a lot.

"Hi what can I do for you?" Louis asks, making no move to actually get up from his comfortable position.

"I was wondering if you could give me a tattoo."

Louis stands up from his spot and mourns the comfort for a moment before he smiles at the man "Well you are in a tattoo shop. What else would we do?" he starts to joke but it falls short when all he can see is  
sadness leaking from the man's eyes. Not even the hint of a smile.

"Erm- I mean you've come to the right place then. Got anything in mind?"

The man holds his bicep out to Louis where two stick figures are drawn sloppily. They're holding hands, one much taller than the other. A father and son.

"My son drew this on me today and I'd like to make it permanent" the man's voice wavers on the last word and Louis can tell he's trying not to cry.

"Oh, of-of course-um if you just follow me" Louis stumbles over his words and feels his heart sink in his chest as the man looks up at him with wet eyes.

Louis leads him to a room in the back and goes about disinfecting the equipment. This would be about the time Louis would strike up a conversation but it seems the man doesn't really want to talk. So instead Louis quietly washes his hands and disinfects the area on the man’s bicep without uttering a word.

He bites his lip and looks down to keep himself from breaking into tears. Jesus Christ he doesn't even know why the man is so upset yet he's about to burst into tears as well. When did he become so soft?

He takes a long breath to calm himself before bringing the needle to the man's skin and starting the tattoo.

About halfway through, Louis just can't keep to himself anymore. If he doesn't ask at least one question his burning curiosity is going to kill him.

"You and your son are close?" he asks into the silence. It's a perfectly polite question. Not too nosy, but the man's head jerks up quickly and the tears that had long dried reappear in his eyes.

Ah fuck no. Louis does not like making people cry.

"Hey, hey, it's alright." He soothes in his gentlest voice, letting go of the man's bicep for a second to squeeze his should reassuringly. "I'm sorry for asking, you don't have to tell me."

The man’s looks at him with thankful eyes. "Thanks, it might help to talk about it actually." he says in a rough voice "I've been keeping it bottled up inside for too long, you know?" he tries for a wobbly smile, but it ends up more like a grimace. Louis appreciates the effort though.

"I'm more than willing to listen. We're going to be stuck in here together for quite a while anyway." This time the man actually smiles and even lets out a watery chuckle. Louis counts it as a win.

"Okay, well a few days ago my four year old son was diagnosed with leukemia and the doctors say he doesn't have a very high chance of survival." he chokes on the last word and Louis gasps quietly.

"Oh, I'm-I'm so sorry!" he stutters out but it doesn't seem like enough. A sorry isn't going to help that poor little boy. Louis thinks of his sisters back home in Doncaster. If anything were to happen to one of them Louis doesn’t know what he’d do.

"Don't say sorry, it’s not your fault." The man smiles sadly "I'm getting this tattoo so he'll be a part of me forever."

Louis actually does start crying at that. Manliness be damned, only a fucking heartless person wouldn't be crying by now anyway.

"I am so honored to be doing this for you then" he says looking into the man’s eyes and they share a meaningful gaze.

This. Louis thinks, this is why he stayed in the tattooing business when his mum had tried to get him find a normal adult job. This is his favorite part of being a tattoo artist, being able to ink people with the things that are the most important to them, and hearing the story of how and why they're so important. It connects him to them in a way that only something like this could ever do. He fucking loves his job.

Once the tattoo is finished Louis rings the man up and smiles at him softly. "I wish your son the best."

The man smiles back at him and for the first time since he's walked into Wildfire it reaches his eyes. "Thank you- erm what's your name?"  
Louis chuckles. "Louis"

"Thanks Louis." he says "I'm Jace"

"Well, Jace, I think you should go show that new tattoo off to your son now, don't you think?"

"He's going to be so surprised" Jace laughs, giddily looking at the tattoo that's now covered by a bandage, and hugs Louis across the counter. "Really, thank you so  
much, I needed to get that off my chest" he whispers into his ear and Louis smiles to himself.

"My pleasure"

Louis stares after Jace with a watery smile as he leaves the shop.

"Who was that?" Zayn asks sidling up to him "You two seem close" he looks up at Louis and his eyes widen "Have you been crying?"

"Erm- that was Jace, just met him really" Louis clears his throat to try to rid it of the lump of emotion lodged in it. "His son's got leukemia, I tattooed a drawing of his onto him"

Zayn smiles understandingly at Louis and pulls him into a tight hug.

"That's the best part of the job init?" he asks as he combs his fingers soothingly through Louis' fringe.

Louis nods and sighs in content.

"Sometimes I forget how many people have to go through losing people they care about. No one deserves it."

Zayn rubs his back and they stay tangled up in each other for a long time after.

***

After Louis has gotten over his moment of emotional vulnerability he's approached by Tom. He's holding the folder where they keep all their potential tattoo designs for customers who haven't decided on something when they come in.

"Guess what Lou?"

"What?" He questions distractedly

"Remember when Zayn gave me those sketches of yours to use as tattoos?"

"Um yeah..." Louis stops what he's doing and turns to Tom questioningly

"Well every single one has been used on at least one person. I was hoping you could make me some more. They're quite popular." Louis' head snaps towards Tom in surprise

"Really?" he asks, eyes widening

He'd given those to Tom purely out of anger. He'd been stressed out over his mum bringing the girls out to visit for the first time since he'd moved out to London and it had kind of spilled out onto the papers in front of him.

When he had realized what he was doing wasn't productive at all he'd gotten angry and thrown them all into the bin.

Zayn had fished them out and given them to Tom to use as tattoos, saying throwing them away was a waste of brilliance. Louis had been too emotionally exhausted to care.

"Yeah, so could you make more?"

I- um I'm not really sure. I was stressed when I made those, I'll try though"

Tom smiles reassuringly mussing up Louis hair as he goes to start counting the money in the resister

"Thanks Lou"

***

At home that night Louis tries to sketch something at least moderately alright enough to tattoo onto another person’s body forever.

He doesn't want to let Tom down. He had been there for him when he needed it the most. He had hired Louis when he had been in terrible state of mind even though  
he had very little experience and he had even introduced him to Zayn, who was now his best mate. Tom gave him something to throw himself into, something to help him forget, and for that he was grateful.

In a way Tom, and Wildfire had saved him.

So he tries to make new sketches, he really does, but after the third drawing of a bird that looks exactly like the fat ugly one Tom already has he collapses onto the desk in frustration.

***

Louis wakes with a crumpled paper stuck to his face and groans as the light from the window blinds him.

He squeezes his eyes shut rolling out of his chair and onto the floor, curling into a pathetic ball of pain.

After a few minutes of self-pity he heaves himself off the floor and makes his way to his room.

He doesn't have to open shop today so he drives his motorcycle slowly, savoring the way the warm spring air whips around him. He's reminded of racing Stan down the huge hill across the street from his house during spring break back when they'd been in primary school and things had been simple.

He smiles at the memory and speeds the bike up as he zooms down the street.

Louis' in a good mood as he parks his motorcycle in his spot and makes his way to Wildfire while humming under his breath, still hearing the rush of wind in his ears.

He bumps into something solid and his eyes widen as he sees a blonde boy go tumbling to the floor along with a box full of what looks like flower pots.

"Oh shit! I'm so sorry!" Louis holds out a hand to the boy

"It’s alright mate" the boy takes his hand and heaves himself to his feet. He starts gathering the fallen flower pots and putting them back into his box. Louis crouches down to help him.

"If you don't mind me asking, why are you carrying around flower pots?"

The boy laughs loud and unabashed, making Louis smile. He likes the way the boys blue eyes dance happily and how they're so open and easy to read. He can tell everything he's thinking and that settles him in a way.

"It is quite weird for a bloke like myself to be carrying round flower pots init?" he laughs, sweeping his blonde locks away from his forehead.

"Quite" Louis answers as he places the last pot into the box.

"Well, my mate Harry is crazy about plants and flowers, all that shit. He's weird like that. He wants to open a flower shop, so my duty as best mate is to help."

"So this shop that's opening up here is a flower shop?" Louis asks, staring incredulously at the boy and laughs to himself at the irony of it. A flower shop opening up next to a tattoo shop. What are the odds?

"Righto, although," the boy looks up at Wildfire, “why would Harry think opening a flower shop next to a tattoo shop be good for business?"

Louis laughs "Beyond me, he's your best mate. I'm Louis by the way, I work at the tattoo shop." he holds out his hand for a shake but the boy surprises him by  
slinging a hand over his shoulder and pulling him into his side.

"I'm Niall. I'm Irish did you know?"

"I can tell. The accent gives it away"

"Always does."

***

"Guess what? Out of all the types of shops in the world, the shop next door is going to be a flower shop!" Louis exclaims as he strides through the doors of the shop.

"You're joking right?" Tom asks where he's perched on the counter with his four year old daughter Lux in his lap.

"No, it’s fucking true!" Louis points out the door "I met a bloke outside who's best mate is the one opening the shop."

"Watch your language there's a child in the room." Tom says, holding his hands over Lux's ears and glaring pointedly at Louis.

Louis smiles apologetically "Sorry" he turns to Lux, "Hey Luxie"

Lux's eyes glitter as she laughs out a "LouLou" and makes grabby hands towards him. He quickly swoops down to pluck her out of Tom's lap and swing her into the air. Once she’s safely back in his arms and giggling into his neck Louis turns to face Tom again. He's sitting with his arms crossed and a sour look on his face.

"What's wrong?"

"My daughter like you more than she like me, her own father."

Louis grins down at Lux who grins back at him "No one can resist the Tommo charm, not even this little lady" he pokes her nose and she giggles.

Lux nods proudly "LouLou is my bestest friend. He boughted me ice cream one day."

"So he bribed you into loving him?"

"LouLou gave me ice cream so I love him the bestest"

"Well it’s a good thing you love him the bestest because he is going to be babysitting you today, while I go run some errands"

"Hold on," Louis says raising his eyebrows. "I never agreed to this, I can't manage the shop and take care of a four year old that loves getting into trouble at the same  
time!"

"But she loves you the bestest" Tom says in a poor highly pitched imitation of Lux.

"I no sound like a chippymunk daddy" Lux whines

"Of course you don't," Tom assures and looks pleadingly at Louis "Please?"

Louis lets out a dramatic breath and makes a show of sighing loudly

"I suppose I can handle it"

"Thank you so much" he plants a kiss to Lux's cheek and then gives Louis a one armed hug before hurrying out the door.

Louis smiles down at Lux as she kicks her legs where they dangle off the counter. She has pink frilly socks on and an orange dress that she proclaims is her big girl dress because she wore it to her first day of daycare. He remembers when she had just been a tiny baby and almost gets teary eyed as he takes in how much she's grown.

"So little miss, what shall we do?"

"Ice cream!" Lux exclaims, her  eyes glimmering in the sun reflecting through the window.

"I'm sorry sweetie but we have to stay in the shop in case a customer comes in"

Lux crosses her arms and pouts at him. Louis' eyes widen and he quickly covers his eyes.

"No, don't you dare use that face on me, it's the cursed cute face, no stop, before I die of the cute!" he exclaims dramatically, peeking out through his fingers.

When Lux sees him peeking she giggles and tries to pout harder through her laughs. Louis makes a show of falling dramatically to the floor and sprawling face down.

"You've killed me. Your cuteness killed me Lux"

"I am the most cutest" she states

***

So Louis has a problem

He may have lost his bosses child

He literally turned his back for five seconds. How could a four year old have possibly disappeared that fast?

She had been sitting on a stool next to the door of the shop greeting people as they came in and offering them candy from her little bag of sweets that Tom had left for her. Everything had been going fine and dandy. But, when Louis had turned back around from grabbing the tattoo folder off a high shelf behind him she had been gone.

Louis surveys the rest of the shop quickly but doesn't spot her anywhere. He starts to panic. There's a four year old walking around on her own outside.She could get lost forever,

Or kidnapped

Or run over

....or killed.

Oh shit, oh fucking shit.

Louis tries to calm his rapid heart rate before leaving the customer at the counter mid-sentence and sprinting out the door.

He looks down both side of the street, his breath coming out in panicky little bursts.

"Lux! Luxie where are you sweetie?" he calls into the street.

"LouLou!"

Louis' head whips to the left at the high pitched voice.

"Lux! Where are you?"

"I gotted ice cream!" Lux exclaims holding out a cone of chocolate ice cream to him.

"Wha- how did you get ice cream?" Louis asks, letting out a breath of relief.

"My new bestest friend" Lux says pointing behind her. Louis looks in the direction she's pointing, and-

Oh, Oh.

There's a beautiful, beautiful boy walking down the street towards them who's also holding a cone in his huge hands. Louis' breath leaves his lungs as he watches the  
way the boy's skinny jeans stretch across his thighs and make his legs look like they go on for ages. He rakes his eyes over his toned body and can make out emerald green eyes twinkling in the sun and a crown of flowers sitting atop a messy mop of brown curls.

"Did that boy buy you ice cream?" Louis asks to distract himself from the very attractive male that's about to approach him. If he doesn't he knows he'll most likely blurt out something embarrassing like, 'you're extremely fit.' or 'fuck me please.'

"I hope you don't mind" flower crown says in a rocky voice that sends a shiver down Louis' spine.

'No not at all" he answers shakily, straightening up from where he'd been crouched in front of Lux. He hopes flower crown hadn't been able to see him openly gawking at him. "Are you sure you don't mind?"

Flower crown runs a hand through his hair and Louis clenches his fists in order to stop himself from going to finger through the soft looking locks himself

"No not at all, she's a rather cute one and I was going to get ice cream anyway"

"You're my new bestest friend" Lux states from where she's sat on the pavement licking her ice cream, she's got chocolate all over her face and hands. Louis smiles fondly down at her.

Flower crown looks down at Lux as well and Louis gazes on fondly as he crouches down to her height

"Well then it's a jolly good thing that you're my new bestest friend too"

Lux giggles and Flower Crown straightens back up to smile at Louis. For heaven’s sake the boy's got fucking dimples, is the whole world out to get him?

He fights the urge to poke his finger into the deeper dimple on the left and smiles widely at him instead.

"I'm Louis, nice to meet you" he says "And that's Lux down there but I can see you two have already been acquainted"

"I'm Harry" the boy answers

"Well, Harry I'm not so sure I like you all that much" Louis grins as the taller boys wide smile falters a little.

"What why?" Flower Crown, well actually Harry but Louis quite likes calling him Flower Crown in his head, pouts down at him, "You don't even know me."

"You see," Louis says, ignoring Flower Crown and resolutely refusing to be endeared by his pout, how pink and soft his lips look. Is that the actual natural color of his lips? It can't be, no one’s lips can naturally be that pink, not possible. No- he is not thinking about pretty lips no, nope nuh uh, that is not what is happening here. "I used to be Lux's bestest friend and you have apparently stolen that title from me."

Flower Crown's grin reappears at that and his eyes sparkle as he replies, Jesus this boy is going to be the end of him, his eyes fucking sparkle. Sparkle! Like some sort of Disney character.

"I am quite a hit with the ladies" he winks over exaggeratedly and Louis knees just about buckle. No one should allowed to be that sexy and cute at the same time. It's messing with his head. Should he be turned on or endeared?

"Well young Harold, I'll have you know that little Lux only wants you for your ice cream money."

"I'm not young." Harry protests indignantly "I'm 22 and my names not Harold."

Louis giggles at his pouted face.

"You're younger than me, so that qualifies as young."

"How old are you then?" Harry questions, "You look younger than me."

Louis sniffs at that "Just because I'm shorter than you doesn't mean I can't be older."

Harry holds up his hands in surrender and Louis admires how absurdly large they are, how the fingers are so beautifully long and lean. He can picture those fingers running across his skin and- wait no, for all he knows Harry is probably straight, he did say he was a hit with the ladies. And even if he wasn't why would he want anything to do with Louis. No use getting his hopes up.

"I'm 24 for your information, so ha." Louis raises his nose in the air.

"Well, then you're quite short for your age." Harry replies, looking smug. And alright, Harry may be cute and fucking fit, probably the prettiest person he's ever talked to other than Zayn, but no one calls him short. He is fucking perfectly average sized. He voices the last part out loud.

"I'll have you know that I'm average sized, you're the one who's a bloody giant."

"Alright, okay, I'm sorry you're height is completely normal." Harry relents and Louis nods appreciatively.

"Thank you." he smiles at Harry and gets lost in counting the number of tiny gold flecks in his eyes until Lux tugs on his trousers.

"Tired LouLou." she slurs, ice cream drying on her face. Louis' heart drops as he realizes he has to say goodbye to Harry. He looks down at Lux and slowly lifts her into his arms, so as to buy him a little more time.

"Well, I guess I'll have to be going" he says sadly, hoping for some kind of indication that Harry doesn't want him to leave either. He looks Harry up and down to stall for time, running his eyes over his long lean legs and never ending torso, his gaze landing on the taller boy's face and locking eyes with him. His eyes look a shade darker than before, but Louis' probably just imagining things.

"I'll see you around?" he tries one last time in hopes of maybe getting a number off of him but Harry just smiles, maybe Louis had been imagining the flirting. He  
almost always gets a number when he flirts. Although, he's never flirted with someone so pretty before, Harry is definitely out of his league. He sighs in defeat and  
hitches Lux higher onto his hip where she's started to doze off.

"Alright well, I'm going to go before this monster gets ice cream all over my shirt." Harry giggles at that, honest to god giggles. Do people even do that anymore?

Then to Louis' surprise Harry tugs off his flower crown and pulls one of the flowers off.

"Here" he hands it to Louis. Louis looks down at the little blue thing and smiles

"What's this for?"

"It’s a forget-me-not flower. Don't forget me" he says slyly and winks.

Louis turns around to leave so he can hide a fond smile and waves at Harry over his shoulder.” I don't think I could ever forget you," he says more soft and fond then he had meant to. "What with your ridiculous curls and flower crown business, I don't think anyone could forget you" he covers up quickly, and then, because Louis can't stand the thought of potentially never seeing this boy again he calls out "I work at Wildfire if you ever want to come chat, flower nonsense aside I quite like you curly."

Harry grins "Really? That's such a coincidence I'm opening up the new shop next door to there!" he calls back excitedly.

So Harry's the weird mate of Niall's, well that explains the flowers.

"Come visit when you have the time then mate." Louis says with one last wave and then makes his way back to Wildfire with a soft smile on his face.

***

After Louis' encounter with Harry he makes any and every excuse to pass the shop next door, so as to get some sort of sneak peak at the taller boy. Which is to say he starts going to the coffee shop a lot more often as it's the only other thing on that side of the street.

He goes to the coffee shop during his breaks, he goes to the coffee shop for lunch, he's even taken to parking his motorcycle in the lot behind the shop so he has to pass Harry's shop on his way home as well. He's pathetic. He knows he should go and talk to Harry instead of creepily watching him through the window as he passes by, but he can't bring himself to do it.

What if he comes off as too desperate? What if he had been imagining Harry's excitement at the fact that Louis worked next door? Maybe he had just been being polite.

Yeah, creepily stalking Harry through the window is a much better choice, even if it is the cowardly way to go about a crush. Jesus he feels like he's in grade school again. Which wait- no Louis does not have a crush on Harry, he's merely curious about the boy with the dimples and flowers in his hair. No crush here no. Nope.

None.

On the second week of thoroughly stalking Harry, Louis has already seen him dancing around the shop alone, reading a book to what looked like a Venus fly trap, painting the walls a blue color and dropping the whole can of paint onto his chest and then proceeding to giggle to himself for ten minutes afterward, and panting in exertion as he lifted boxes off of shelves with his biceps bulging (Louis had to spend some alone time in the toilets for a quick wank to calm him down from that one).

So all in all he's come to the conclusion that Harry is one odd lad, yet for some reason he keeps wanting to come back for more.

The Tuesday after it has been two weeks since he met Harry and started 'stalking' him per se, Louis is approached by Zayn right before their lunch break.

"Hey, Lou, want to come with me to the sushi place for lunch?"

The thing is, Zayn has been asking him almost every day to go to lunch with him, but he keeps refusing and he hates the way Zayn's face falls, how he looks like a kicked puppy each time. Every time he sees it happen he promises himself he'll go with him the next day, but he can never bring himself to do it. What if Harry does something inhumanly cute and he misses it?

"I'm actually going to go to the coffee shop again." Louis replies smoothly and averts his eyes to shield himself from the hurt look he knows he's going to receive.

"You've been going to the coffee shop an awful lot" is what he gets instead.

"Ehrm, yeah” Louis replies startled, “they've got um-great coffee and-uh stuff"

"You don't even like coffee" Zayn exclaims "What are you hiding from me?"

"They have tea there too. I'm not hiding anything." Louis defends, hoping Zayn will just drop it so he can go.

"Fine, then I'm going with you." Louis' brain goes into SOS, no way is he going to let Zayn find out about his little infatuation, absolutely not, he'll never live it down.

"That won't be necessary mate." he says quickly, with a wave of his hand and tries to slip away without being caught.

"Louis!" Zayn says warningly in a tone of voice that reminds him of his mums when she'd scold him for stealing biscuits from the kitchen before dinner. Louis stops in the doorway, his shoulders slumping in defeat.

"Fine, you can come with me, and you'll see I'm not hiding anything," he sighs. If Zayn isn't going to believe him then he's just going to have to prove that nothing is going on.

He can pass Harry's shop without stopping to watch.

He can.

He has complete control over his actions.

Alright, turns out Louis does not have complete control of his actions, more like no control.

As he and Zayn pass the shop he can't tear his eyes away from the window where Harry is fluttering around with a bright pink watering can and watering the miscellaneous plants he has on the shelves around him.

Louis' smile turns soft and fond as he watches Harry do a ballerina twirl in the middle of the room, the watering can up above his head which unexpectedly sprays  
water over him. He looks so startled that Louis can't hold back an amused snort that makes Zayn look down at him suspiciously.

"Nothing." Louis replies, much quicker then he usually would have and then mentally slaps himself for even looking into the window.

Goddammit he's a 24 year old grown up adult. He should have enough self-control to not look in that godforsaken window for one fucking day.

Louis quickens his pace so he doesn't have the urge to look at Harry again and grabs Zayn's arm to pull him with him.

"What the hell Lou, what's the big hurry?"

"Your dawdling, I'm quite hungry and you taking your time is not appreciated," Louis replies imperiously, not looking back at Zayn.

One thing Louis' learned from this whole ordeal is that he is truly shit at lying. Especially to Zayn, the one person who knows him almost better than he knows himself. He doesn't know how he ever thought he'd be able to hide this from him in the first place.

As the duo reaches the coffee shop door Louis spares one quick look over his shoulder and his heart leaps in his chest when he sees Harry actually looking out the window. Their eyes lock and even though they're at least 5 meters away from each other Louis swears he can see his eyes twinkling as he smiles at Louis and waves.  
Louis quickly turns back to Zayn and sees that he's already entered the shop and is talking to Eleanor at the counter before he grins wide and waves back at the green eyed boy.

"Louis!" Louis' gaze snaps back to where Zayn and Eleanor have been talking and his heart sinks in his chest when he sees Zayn smirking back at him, looking absolutely smug.

God fucking bloody dammit.

He'd forgotten that he had told Eleanor about his little 'Harry situation'.

Well more like she'd figured it out when he started coming into the shop every day with a shit eating grin gracing his face.

The first time Eleanor had questioned him about it he'd denied everything and tried to contain his smile (it didn't really work). The second time Eleanor just flat out stated that the only reason Louis could be so happy other than his mum coming to visit, which she would have known about (Jay absolutely adored Eleanor) was a boy. Louis had caved by that point and told her everything. He doesn't know how she figured it out in only two days, when Zayn, his best mate hasn't in two weeks. Maybe it's a girl thing, who knows.

"You didn't tell me you met a boy" Zayn says raising his eyebrows suggestively

"I met a boy yes, but it's not what you think. El's a liar" Louis glares at Eleanor who merely flips her hair and smiles nonplussed. She's much too used to being on the receiving end of the Tommo death glare.

"He's your best mate Lou, he deserves to know about the boy you fancy," Eleanor says as Zayn nods agreeably from beside her.

"I told you I don't fancy him!" Louis exclaims defensively and glares at them both. He has the worst friends. What did he ever do to deserve this? He's a good person, proper good samaritan, picking up trash, not littering, all that jazz. He doesn't see how he could possibly deserve this.

"Yeah, definitely don't fancy him." Eleanor agrees sarcastically "I mean it’s not like you described how green his eyes where, or the way his curly hair glistened in the sunlight, or how his biceps strained as he picked up those heavy boxes. I mean, yeah that's exactly how a person describes someone they don't fancy."

"Very funny, you think you're so clev-" Louis cuts himself off as he sees Eleanor's eyes widen and Zayn turns to her,

"Is that him?" he whispers

"Yeah."

"What are you talking about?" Louis questions.

"Behind you Lou," she whispers with an amused giggle.

Louis turns around and feels his breath leave his lungs, because there, standing in the door is the one and only Harry Styles, the one he's been stalking for two weeks straight.

He quickly spins back towards Zayn and Eleanor, panicking.

"What the hell is he doing here?" he hisses with desperate eyes.

“Probably getting coffee,” Eleanor says unhelpfully.

"Hide me!" he goes to jump over the counter but Zayn pushes a hand against his chest.

"Don't be a coward Lou, you've talked to boys before what's so different about this one?" Louis glares at him and sees Harry striding towards them out of his peripheral vision. Great, just great, he's spotted him. Now Louis isn't going to be able to hide. He's going to have to face the extremely fit boy without fucking blurting out every fantasy he's had for the past two weeks.

Fuck, he's been stalking this bloke for two weeks and he's supposed to act normal around him?

"Louis!" Harry exclaims as he reaches him at the counter and Zayn and Eleanor slink away covertly, the traitors. Louis glares at their retreating backs and tries to morph his panicked face into one of nonchalance.

"So we meet again flower boy," he says smiling. Harry isn't adorning a flower crown this time, but he does have two flowers in the front pocket of his stripped shirt.

What even is this boy? Does he ever not have flowers?

"We do," Harry says smiling a dimpled smile and Louis has to pinch his arm to stay focused on what he is saying. "So what's good around here?" he asks looking around.

 Louis looks at him questioningly.

"I mean, you must know what's good since you come here so often."

Louis feels his cheeks burn up and he quickly darts his eyes downward. Fuck, how does he know that-oh god he knows about the stalking, he fucking knows. This is terrible. He probably thinks he's a creep. Of course he's a creep he's been stalking Harry for two weeks.

Louis looks up apprehensively and is surprised to see that Harry's face is flushed as well. He brings a massive hand up to brush his fringe away from his face and Louis watches as his long fingers get hidden in the curls.

"Erm, I hope you don't find this creepy but I er- I see you come here every day so-um yeah, you pass my shop... you're very notable."

Louis’ heart stops beating erratically and he lets out a sigh of relief. He doesn't know, thank god. He looks up and sees that Harry is still standing in front of him looking embarrassed, wringing his hands together and looking at him with wide green eyes. Louis has to stop himself from audibly cooing. Fuck. This is not good, Louis does not coo, has never even had the urge to coo before.

"Hey, no that's definitely not creepy," he reassures the younger boy and rubs a hand down Harry's jumper clad shoulder, "and to answer your question this place has the best scones in the world, no joke. You need to try 'em."

Harry smiles at him again, and Louis is just a little bit disappointed to see that his flushed cheeks have started to return to their normal color. He had looked quite adorable when he was flustered.

"Alright, I will." Harry makes to move towards the counter but then turns back around again. "Oh, also I wanted to invite you to the opening of my shop." he hands Louis a pink flyer with a flowery border. Louis internally rolls his eyes. Of course, only Harry would make a flyer like that, Louis barely knows the bloke and he can already tell he's a giant dork "You don't have to come if you don't want to of course but-"

"No I'd love to!" Louis interrupts with a smile and Harry visibly lights up. Louis feels a rush of happiness at the fact that he caused that kind of reaction, he really wants to keep that look on Harry's face forever"

"Yay!" Harry claps his hands together, really he seriously is a child, and then pulls out the flowers from his pocket. "Oh and these are for you too!"

"What? Why?"

Harry smiles shyly, "Ehrm well the blue one, the periwinkle, reminds me of us," he pointake between the two of them sheepishly and Louis can't help but grin at him "and the amaryllis, the red one, reminds me of you" he holds them out to Louis, eyes sparkling and Louis can't do anything but take them really, those eyes have some sort of hypnotic effect on him that cannot be healthy in any way.

He reaches out and takes the flowers from Harry's outstretched hands and feels a spark as their hands brush, leaving a tingling sensation on his fingers. He brings the flowers to his face and breathes in their scent.

"Thank you Harry, they're lovely."

Harry grins and nods in agreement,

"Flowers, are the loveliest, they're so beautiful and at the same time they convey so much meaning, you know? Like you could have a whole conversation with someone purely through flowers, if that isn't the coolest thing I don't know what is."

Harry's eyes are sparkling with happiness and Louis absentmindedly spins the flowers between his fingers, just enjoying the pure joy on the other boy's face as he talks about his passion.

After Harry orders his scone Louis asks him if he'd like some company and so he ends up squeezed next to Harry in a tiny booth with Eleanor and Zayn grinning like manic Cheshire Cats in front of him.

Louis for the life of him can't remember why he thought this was a good idea.

"Hi I'm Harry" Harry introduces himself as he slides into the seat next to Louis and flashes them with a charming smile.

Louis smiles at Harry before gingerly resting his flowers at the side of the table. He sees Eleanor's gaze follow his movements and he prays to all the gods, whether  
he believes in them or not, that she doesn't say something to embarrass him.

"Nice to meet you Harry" Zayn says, smiling more genuinely then he's ever seen Zayn smile at a person he's just met. Louis lets out a sigh of relief, so far so good.

"Yes, very nice to meet you indeed, I've heard a lot about you" Eleanor says with a smirk, and Louis just about sinks under the table in embarrassment. Doesn't Eleanor have, like, a job? Why is she here harassing him instead of doing said job? His life would be a hell of a lot easier if she was more responsible and left the table this very instant, preferably before Louis dies of heat stroke from the embarrassment heating up his cheeks.

"What Eleanor means," Louis says forcefully, glaring at said girl, "is that she's heard about the person who saved Lux for me, naturally I'd have to tell them about the flower boy who found Lux, that kind of thing doesn't happen every day."

"I didn't really save her, she just wanted ice cream." Harry protests, but his eyes are shining and Louis completely forgets what he was talking about for a moment.

Eleanor's voice breaks him out of his haze, "So, you're opening the shop next door to Wildfire?"

"Yeah, been working on getting it all into shape, still need to plant more flowers and such before I can open up officially, but my mate, Niall's been helping out so it should be soon now."

Harry looks at Louis "I actually gave Louis a flyer about the opening, I'm planning to have a little grand opening party, you guys could come if you want, and it’ll be fun."

"Yeah we'd love to!" Zayn says happily.

Louis grins, turns to Harry and smiles

"We'll be there"

***

At home later that night Louis adds the Periwinkle and Amaryllis to the vase he had put Harry's other flower in with a small upturn to his lips. He doesn't know why 3 simple flowers make a warm feeling creep into his chest, but he thinks it probably has more to do with the person who he received them from than the actual flowers themselves.

He lazily gets ready for bed and strips out of his black skinny jeans, replacing them with a pair of soft grey sweats before climbing into bed and using his phone to look up the meaning of the two new flowers.

He falls asleep with a soft smile on his face.

_Blue Periwinkle: flower symbolizing a new or budding friendship  
_

_Amaryllis: flower symbolizing pride, timidity, or splendid beauty_

***  
So, Zayn and Harry have become fast friends.

Zayn has disappeared for hours on end only to be found at Harry's shop more than enough times to make that obvious.

To be honest, Louis is surprised by the quick nature of the two's friendship. When he had joined them for lunch at Zayn's flat Harry had been resting his head in  
Zayn's lap and surprisingly Zayn had been stroking his hair.

Zayn usually takes ages to warm up to someone, hell he hadn't even let Louis cuddle him until well 6 months after they met, and yet, here Harry has cracked him in less than a week.

He's magic, it’s the only explanation. Louis knew nobody mortal could be that pretty.

The whole thing bothers him for some reason, don't get him wrong, of course he's happy that Zayn has found someone other than Louis that he connects with, and  
he'd be elated had said person been anyone but Harry. Because well, he may be a selfish bastard for it, but he can't help but feel that, he met Harry first. It's stupid but he feels like he has a sort of claim over the boy, after all Zayn wouldn't have met him without Louis.

For some reason he feels a pang of irrational rage whenever Zayn touches Harry and he doesn't know what to do about it.

So when Zayn tells him that Harry is coming over the next day so Zayn can help him paint a banner for the opening of his shop, Louis immediately insists that he wants to help.

"But you've never even painted before Lou"

Louis huffs in frustration, swinging his legs angrily against the counter, Zayn can be so bloody irritating sometimes. Can't he just say yes and get this over with?

They've been friends for five years Zayn should know by now that Louis always gets what he wants.

"Please? I'm ace at drawing. It can't be that bloody different."

"Why do you want to help so badly anyway?" Zayn hops up onto the counter next to where Louis is swinging his legs and leans his head on his shoulder. Louis shrugs him off, grumbling.

"You know why, don't make me say it" he looks up at Zayn through his eyelashes and sees he's smiling down at him softly. His eyes are a comforting hazel and Louis feels himself smile back. Zayn's smile is probably his favorite thing about him, it just makes him feel safe and he can't ever stop himself from smiling back. Which is kind of unhelpful in the situation seeing as he's supposed to be mad at Zayn at the moment.

"This is because of Harry?" Zayn wraps an arm around Louis' shoulders and pulls him closer. This time Louis sighs in defeat and let's himself sag into his side.

"Ugh, don't say it out loud, it sounds so pathetic" he mumbles into Zayn's chest.

“Love is never pathetic Lou"

Louis bolts upright at that and stares at Zayn wide eyed "Excuse me? I am not in love with him!" He jumps off the counter and paces in front of it angrily. "How could you even say that, I've only known the bloke for a few weeks. A person can't fall in love in a few weeks. That's fucking impossible!"

"Alright whatever you say Lou" Zayn laughs with a knowing smirk.

Louis grumbles to himself, bloody Zayn with his fucking 'I know everything' eyes. Well fuck him. Louis knows he's not in love, he might not know exactly what being in love with someone feels like but this isn't it. This is merely a stupid insignificant crush. A crush he needs to get out of his system, before it turns into something worse. He'll go help with that banner and then hopefully Harry will be out of his system. Simple as that.

"Goddammit Zayn just let me help with the fucking banner before I do something drastic"

"Alright, alright, you're such a drama queen"

***

Louis gets to Zayn's 20 minutes early, which is probably some sort of record for him.

When Louis lets himself into the flat Zayn's eyes widen where he's lying on the couch.

"You're early," he says in awe "I don't think I've ever seen this happen before."

Louis glares at him. "Shut up I've been a nervous wreck all day."

"Aw is little Lou is scared of spending time with his crush?"

"I said shut up!" Louis exclaims jumping onto Zayn's chest, wrestling him off the sofa and to the ground, thighs around his waist.

"You know," Zayn starts conversationally "by the amount of times that we've ended up on the ground like this, it really seems like you want to fuck me rather than Harry."

Louis' cheeks color and he tries to hide it by glaring harder down at Zayn "I don't- he- I don't want to fuck him." Zayn gives him a knowing look and he blows out a sigh of defeat, how does Zayn always know everything going on in his head "Okay maybe I do but-" he's saved from having to continue by the doorbell ringing.

Louis eyes flick to the door and then back to Zayn whose eyes look mischievously alight, "he's here," he whispers under his breath.

Louis gives him one last glare before he gets off of him and tries to calm his rapidly beating heart as Zayn goes to open the door.

He's cool, he's fine, he can act normal in front of Harry, he can, he will.

"Louis! I didn't know you were going to be here." Harry exclaims as he stumbles into the room, holding an armful of different paints.

Louis looks him up and down discreetly, he's got a flower print scarf tied into his curls and his eyes are a soft forest green. His shirt is ratty and covered in blue paint already but he still manages to make it look good somehow.

He almost trips as he goes to put the paints on the table but Louis unconsciously darts his hands onto his hips to steady him. Realizing what he's done too late he jerks his hands away quickly and clears his throat awkwardly.

"Erm- I came to help you and Zayn, if uh, that's alright with you?"

Harry smiles a blinding smile that makes his eyes practically glitter

"The more the merrier"

Zayn pulls a large roll of paper out from the back room which he uses as a sort of art studio and rolls it across the hardwood floor of the living room.

"How long do you want it?" He asks from his perch on the floor and Harry crouches down next to him.

"You're the artist, you tell me" he says putting a hand on Zayn's bicep and grinning at him.

Zayn smiles up at Harry "Well what do you want to put on it?"

Harry grins and holds out a piece of paper proudly, "I drew a rough draft, mind my drawing is shit" he says as Zayn chuckles and takes the paper from him. The two  
crowd together, heads almost touching as they look down at the paper and Louis feels an irrational rush of possessiveness. He stomps over and sticks his head between the two of them.

"So what are we doing?" he asks as he subtly pushes Zayn's body away from Harry's. Zayn looks smugly at Louis as if he knows exactly what he's doing. Louis just rolls his eyes at him and then turns his attention back to Harry.

"So I just want 'Grand Opening' in bright colors, maybe pink, green, and yellow? And then some flowers around the rest of the banner." he explains with a tiny smile on his face.

"Pretty simple, easy enough" Zayn says

"I'm a simple sort of lad" Harry slings an arm around both of them and giggles excitedly "This is going to be so fun"

"Okay so who's going to do what?" Zayn asks clapping his hands together.

"Well, since you can actually draw you should probably do the flowers Zayn" Harry says

Louis pouts "I can draw too, Harold"

Harry's eyes twinkle with mirth "That's not my name Lewis"

"Oh ew that's bloody horrible, don't ever call me that again" Louis says making a face and furiously tries to hide a smile when Harry giggles at him.

"Only if you promise not to call me Harold again"

"Deal, I just never want to hear that god awful nickname ever again"

"Lads?" Zayn calls with a smirk, startling them both. Oh god, had they been flirting. Why is everything with Harry so confusing? It's not like he hasn't flirted before,  
he's definitely not clueless, so why does he feel like this is his first crush all over again.

"Er-yeah sorry" Harry says, shaking his head slightly before turning away from Louis

"So I'm painting the flowers and you guys will do the words?" Zayn questions

Harry shrugs "Unless Louis wants to do the flowers"

Zayn shakes his head quickly at that "He may be able to draw, but he's never painted before"

"Fine" Louis relents, dragging out the word and flopping down next to Harry a little bit closer than strictly necessary.

"He never lets me do anything important you know?" he stage whispers to him "One would think after knowing each other for 5 years he would at least trust me. " he splays down onto his back dramatically and revels in the way Harry smiles at him, both dimples indenting his cheeks and eyes bright "This is a toxic relationship right here I don't know why I'm still a part of it"

"Oi, shut up Tommo you know I'm the best mate ever"

***  
"Shit" Louis mutters as he looks down at the banner and his eyes widen in horror.

They had decided that each letter of the words would alternate pink, yellow, then green and Louis had just painted both the G and R in 'Grand' pink,  
Fuck, he had one job, it wasn't even that hard. God Harry's going to hate him.  
In a panic Louis stares at the kitchen door where Zayn and Harry had gone to get some water to wash off the brushes and almost goes into cardiac arrest when he sees them making their way back to the living room.

He's fucked, absolutely fucked, any chance he might have had with Harry is definitely ruined now.

"Louis you okay? You look like you've seen a ghost" Harry asks, Louis doesn't even notice the nickname, too busy cowering away in shame.

Zayn comes up behind Harry and his eyes widen as they land on the banner "Lou, what the hell did you do?"

Louis feels his heart drop as Harry looks to the banner as well and he closes his eyes so he doesn't have to see the angry look he knows he's going to receive.

"I-I'm so sorry, I don't know what happened I guess I kind of zoned out. I'm so so sorry Harry." he gets out quickly and peeks an eye open. Harry's smiling down at him, amused and Louis looks back at him, confused "You're not mad?"

"No of course not, it was a mistake, everyone makes them. We can just make a new one, right Zayn?"

Zayn's eyes widen "But the flowers are already done, and it’s getting pretty late we'll be up all night making a new one"  
Harry tilts his head and Louis feels a sense of dread, this is all his fault after all. "No, you guys sleep I'll make the new one I messed it up, let me fix it."

"That's gracious of you, but all due respect Lou, you can't redo the flowers I'll still have to do those" Zayn sighs

"That won't be necessary anyway because we're not making a new one."

"What?" Zayn and Louis both turn to look at Harry in confusion

"Well, why not just make the colors alternate by every two letters? So the next two letters will be yellow and then the next two green and so on."

Louis stares back at Harry in awe, because not only is he probably the kindest and most understanding human being Louis has ever had the pleasure to meet in his 24 years of living, he is also a fucking genius.

"Those are some marvelous problem solving skills you've got there mate" Harry beams as if it’s the best compliment he's ever received.

Louis hopes to god it's not, Harry deserves much more than a silly compliment like that.

He deserves the world, and it would be a bloody tragedy if nobody has ever given him just that.

***  
Once the trio has finished the banner and moved it into Zayn's studio to dry Harry makes the three of them tea and Louis is delighted to find out that he makes an almost perfect cuppa. That's a bloody good trait in Louis' books.

"So I'd say that was a success" Harry says plopping down onto the couch next to Louis and resting his head on his shoulder. Louis freezes, scared that if he moves the pleasant warmth of Harry's body pressed to his will disappear.

"Well other than Louis being a ditz and almost messing everything up, I agree" Zayn replies from where he's sprawled on the floor with a blanket around his shoulders and tea in his hands.

Louis glares down at Zayn and endangers his wonderful position next to Harry by kicking him in the shoulder.

Thankfully Harry only laughs at the disturbance and presses further into his side. Louis smiles to himself as he feels his curls brush against his cheek and discreetly nuzzles his face into the soft locks.

He hears Harry hum happily before he pushes his head back into Louis' touch and Louis lets himself smile softly to himself.  
He looks down at the younger lad and sees Harry staring back at him with warm sleepy eyes

"Tired?"

"Mmm, yeah" Harry sighs nuzzling his hair back into Louis' cheek with drooping eyelids. Louis should really find it strange how close they're sitting given they only just met a few weeks ago and this is their first time properly spending time together, but he's quickly learning that resisting Harry Styles is futile.

"Are you sure you want to fall asleep on the couch Hazza? Zayn probably has a spare room" he asks, the nickname slipping past his lips before he can think much of it.

Harry's tired eyes light up at the name and his eyebrows furrow together as he repeats it, "Hazza..." he glances up at Louis happily "I quite like it"

Louis grins back and smooth’s a hand through Harry's hair "Me too"

They do end up falling asleep on the couch, mostly because both of them are too lazy to actually get up and maybe a little bit because Louis, quite frankly doesn't  
want to move, probably ever. He figures whatever back pain he ends up having to endure the next day will be well worth having Harry's warm body pressed to his for  
an entire night.

***  
When Louis blinks awake the next morning Zayn is already awake and sitting on the loveseat on the other side of the room flipping idly through channels on the telly. Louis looks down and sees that Harry's still sleeping soundly in his arms.

He's maybe even prettier in his sleep if that's possible, with his eyelashes fluttering softly and his plump lips slightly parted. He looks so young.

Sometime during the night they'd moved from their sitting positions to laying horizontal on the couch, basically spooning. Harry in front of Louis and Louis' face tucked into his neck.

Louis reluctantly pulls his face away from Harry's neck and blinks blearily at Zayn

"Morning"

"Oh thank god you're finally awake, watching telly from this angle is hurting my head, I want my couch back" Zayn says with a huff.

"Harry's still asleep" Louis says pointing out the obvious and blushing a little as he realizes his legs are still tangled between Harry's longer ones.

Zayn smirks, "You guys look like a proper couple you know?" he ruffles Louis' messy fringe fondly "Ask him out Lou."  
Louis glares, "Sod off," he pushes Zayn's hand away and looks back down at Harry again. He takes in the way his sharp jawline stands out against the soft curves of his nose and lips and the way the morning sunlight filtering in through the window reflects off his pale smooth skin. He's absolutely breathtaking. "You know all too well that I'd never have a chance with someone like him" he mumbles softly, running his fingers lightly up Harry's arm. When he looks up he's met with somber eyes.

"Lou..." Zayn starts and then trails off, looking lost.

"Stop looking at me like that" Louis snaps "I'm not some injured animal, I know the facts you don't need to try and make me feel better. I'll get over it, he's just a boy"

Zayn shakes his head sadly and gets up from the loveseat muttering something to himself that Louis can't quite make out, though it sounds suspiciously like self-deprecating arse

Louis rolls his eyes and gently untangles his legs from Harry's to go and follow him as he stalks away into his bedroom

"Zayn?"

Zayn makes a noise of acknowledgement but doesn't turn from where he's rummaging through a drawer.

"What's wrong Z?" Louis strides up to the other lad and rests his chin on his shoulder.

Louis' head rises and falls with Zayn's shoulders as he takes a deep breath.

"I just don't want you to miss an opportunity at being happy Lou" he sighs

"But I'm already happy" Louis insists, moving his hands to Zayn's wrists to still his hands

"Are you sure about that Lou?" Zayn plops onto his bed unceremoniously "Because I genuinely thought you were happy too, but then I saw you that day in the coffee shop with Harry." Zayn shakes his head as if what he's saying baffles him almost as much as it's baffling Louis right now "When I saw you light up in the way that you did. I realized I'd never, in the five years I've known you, seen you look at anyone that way before, not even Lux. I realized that other than that moment I'd never seen you look genuinely alive before."

"That's-that's not true" Louis says stuttering over his words and looking at Zayn helplessly, because he's wrong, he has to be wrong. Louis knows he's had his ups and downs in life, everyone has, but he'd left the darkness of his teenage years behind him a long time ago. He's fine.

Fine

"Louis I'm sorry, but I can't let you give up on him. Not when I know he'd be so good for you."

"I-I can't Zayn" he looks up at Zayn with a heavy heart and cringes at the way his voice stutters "Not after last time"

"Not all people are the same Lou, just give him a chance" he says gently and pulls Louis onto the bed next to him, pressing an affectionate kiss to the top of his head. Louis lets out a shaky sigh. "Just text him after he leaves today, tell him you want to hang out, get to know him, be his friend." Zayn smiles gently down at Louis. “It doesn't have to be any more than you want to make it"

"One problem, I don't have his number"

Zayn's eyes widen "What?"

"I don't have his-"

Zayn puts up a hand to stop him "I heard you the first time, I just can't believe it"

"What do you mean?" Louis asks sitting up and looking at Zayn incredulously.

"I just thought that you'd have his number seeing as you met him weeks ago."

"Yeah well I don't" Louis scowls

"Then go get it!" Zayn exclaims looking at Louis like it's the only sane thing to do. In Louis opinion it is very much not sane thank you very much. Getting Harry's  
number would require him to tell him he wants to see him again and while that is true, he doesn't know if he wants to get attached to someone he knows is unattainable.

"Do you honestly want to go back to passing his shop everyday just to see him for a few seconds Lou?"

Louis' eyes widen in horror at that prospect and Zayn laughs loudly at the stricken look that he's sure is gracing his face. He sighs in resignation.

"Yeah, alright I'll get his number I don't want to reduce to being a stalker again that was an all-time low for me"

"Well then, go on" Zayn says smugly, making shooing motions at him. Louis glares at Zayn again, it feels like the only thing he's been doing since he's gotten up, and  
then peeks his head out the door to find Harry moving into a sitting position on the couch and stretching his arms over his head. His shirt rides up revealing a slice of pale skin and Louis has to yank his head back into the room to stop himself from running into the sitting room and completely ravishing him.  
He turns wide eyed to Zayn "I can't do it, Christ, why is he so pretty, god fucking dammit" he paces the room and whips his head up when he hears the door creak open.

"I thought you guys had ditched me for a moment there" Harry says from the doorway, his eyes flicking from Louis' panicked face to Zayn's grinning one. "Am I interrupting something?"

"No, no, Zayn and I were just discussing what to have for breakfast seeing as the both of us are less than mediocre in the kitchen on a good day." Louis lies swiftly and mental pats himself on the back for the save.

Zayn grins, "Nah, that's just you Lou"

"I disagree, you've burnt my breakfast more times than I can count" Louis counters

"Maybe, but I've never actually set a kitchen on fire before"

"That was one time" Zayn raises his eyebrows "Okay three, but that doesn't prove anything"

Louis sees Harry's eyes widen before he puts his hands up in a break it up motion "I think it's safe to say both of you are not allowed in the kitchen for today's breakfast, leave it to me"

"You can cook?" Louis questions excitedly, this boy just keeps getting better and better

"I've learned a thing or two from my mum" he says with a wink before disappearing to the kitchen and telling both Zayn and Louis not to, under any circumstances set foot in the kitchen.

***  
Turns out Harry is an excellent cook. Louis will have to add that to the list of the many desirable qualities of Harry Styles. If this keeps up he's going to have to actually start writing them down so he won't forget.

The three of them are sitting at Zayn's tiny dining table eating the pancakes and scrambled eggs Harry had prepared for them. Zayn and Louis are complimenting him  
every three bites. Louis grins at the way Harry's face keeps getting a darker shade of red with every compliment, as if he can't believe the amount of praise he's getting. He's modest too, yeah Louis' definitely going to need to write down this list somewhere.

Louis has just opened his mouth to make another compliment when Harry glances at his phone and his eyes widen "Fuck" he mutters under his breath quietly "I'm sorry I have to go, I forgot I need to meet up with Niall" he walks up to the both of them and gives them each a hug "Thank you guys so much for your help, I really appreciate it, I never would have been able to do it by myself. If Niall and I had done it, it would've looked horrendous. I guess knowing artists has its benefits." he  
shrugs as he picks up his things "Not that that's the only reason I talk to you guys, just an added bonus" he adds quickly with a shy smile.

As Harry starts walking out the door, he feels Zayn kick him under the table hard

"What the hell was that for?" Louis hisses kicking Zayn back harder

Zayn winces before glaring murderously back at him "Now's your chance get his fucking number before he leaves, because I know if you don't I'm going to have to listen to you whine about it for ages" he brings his leg up to his chest "Also that fucking hurt"

"I don't know how to ask for it!" Louis whispers, panicked "I haven't got a plan"

"Since when have you ever made plans Louis? Honestly. Just go before he leaves" Zayn cries, shaking his head. When Louis doesn't move he gets out of his chair with a huff, pulls Louis up and practically pushes him out the door.

Louis stumbles into the living room to see Harry holding the rolled up banner in one hand and the bag of paints in another. Harry quirks up a questioning eyebrow as Louis picks himself off the floor and dusts off his knees.

"Erm, I've got to get home too, fancy walking out together?"

Harry turns to him with glimmering eyes and a smile so wide it looks like it hurts "I would absolutely love that"

They walk to the lift in companionable silence, Louis trying to figure out a way to ask for his number without being too up front about it.  
"I'm sorry for almost ruining your banner last night" he says quietly into the silence.

Harry turns to him with a frown, his eyebrows furrowing cutely "I already told you it was nothing to worry about, honestly Louis I didn't mind at all, I think it looks better this way even, maybe it was fate making sure the banner was perfect"

Louis looks up at him shyly through his eyelashes, "You're really amazing Harry, you know that?" he asks him in awe "And I- since the day I met you I knew you were a genuinely amazing and good person. We have a shortage of people like that in this world. I wish I could be like you, you know? Everybody who's ever met you probably wants to be at least a little bit like you. And I, well what I'm trying to say Harry-" he takes a deep breath "-is that I'd really like to get to know you better, maybe we can hang out sometime? You and me?"

Louis finally looks up from the floor as he gets out the last word and is surprised to see Harry grinning hugely at him "I'd love that Louis! Here give me your phone I'll put in my number and we can set something up"

Louis sighs in relief at the fact that he doesn't have to outright ask for his number "Thanks, I can already tell we'll be great friends" he says with a small smile and then internally curses himself as he sees Harry's hands still for a second where he's typing in his number.

It's quite possible Louis has just accidentally friend zoned himself, honestly what is his life?


	2. II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long school has been taking up so much of my time. Hope you like it!

_Hey Louis, Niall and I are having a lad’s night. Want to join? You can bring Zayn!! :) -H_

Louis stares at the text for what feels like the millionth time that day before sliding his phone to Eleanor and Zayn on the other side of the booth.

Zayn hums thoughtfully as he reads the text and Eleanor looks at him in confusion.

"What's the big deal?" she asks as she slides the phone back to him.

"I don't know how to reply" Louis screeches banging his head on the table, he feels pathetic, he can't even answer a simple text, he's doomed, why does Harry Styles have to exist? Louis had been doing perfectly fine before he came along, fuck whatever Zayn thinks.

"Seriously Lou? It's not even that hard, just answer with a simple agreement."

"You don't think I've tried that?" Louis grumbles, face still smushed on the table. "I tried answering 'sure I'd love to' but then that sounded too eager. Then I tried just 'sure' but that sounded too bored and I pictured how his eyes would become sad when he read it and I couldn't send that either. I'm pathetic just leave me here to die."

"You've got it bad" Eleanor says smoothing a hand through his hair, Louis closes his eyes at the soothing touch and consequentially doesn't notice that Zayn picks up his phone and types out a text.

"I replied for you," he says startling Louis' eyes open. He bolts upright and glowers at Zayn.

"You did _what?”_

Zayn just holds his hands up in surrender as Louis yanks his phone out of his hands in outrage. All the anger dissipates though, as Louis sees that Harry has replied with an address paired with a thumbs up and frog emoji. He smiles at the text, even though he hasn't got a clue what the frog emoji means and sends back a flower emoji.

***

Harry opens the door to Niall's flat with a huge smile and three cans of beer in his hands. Louis gawks at the sight, imagining those huge hands running over his body and only realizes what he's doing when Zayn kicks him in the leg discreetly.

"Ehrm, hey Hazza!" He says with a wide smile rivaling Harry's as he wills the inappropriate thoughts from his mind. Harry's smile somehow gets three times wider at the nickname as he beckons the two of them into the flat.

Harry pulls Louis into a tight hug once he's made it inside. Zayn takes one look at the pair and stalks away mumbling an _I'm done you two are disgusting_ as he disappears into the kitchen.

Harry giggles into Louis' neck before releasing him and looking earnestly into his eyes "I'm really glad you came Lou."

"Me too," Louis replies before he's being practically dragged into the kitchen where the other lads are.

"Niall is here already, well duh since it's his flat, and my mate Liam is as well, I don't think you guys have met. You've met Niall though, he told me about how you guys ran into each other outside the shop, literally," Harry babbles as they make their way to the kitchen and Louis can't help but be endeared at how cute he is when he's slightly tipsy, with his cheeks flushed bright pink, limbs all gangly and cuddly, and talking a mile a minute, it’s probably the fastest he's ever heard Harry talk.

As they walk into the kitchen Louis stops in his tracks as he sees Liam sitting at the table with a beer in his hands.

"Liam," he exclaims with delight, "Fancy seeing you here!"

Liam's eyes widen and he waves at Louis with a grin, "Louis! I didn't know you and Harry were mates."

"Just met him really," Louis replies, taking a can of beer off the counter and taking a sip. "You should've introduced us earlier, I can't believe you've been hiding him from me."

Harry giggles at that and then his eyes widen in confusion "Wait! You two know each other?"

"Liam works in my building, I've had one too many late night chats with him," When Liam laughs Louis grins and adds "most of them whilst drunk to be honest."

"I have so many embarassing stories, you don't even know. So much blackmail." Liam replies with a smirk before taking another sip of beer and grinning at Louis with a mischievous glint in his eye.

Louis rubs a hand over his face, "Oh, god I've got to stop talking to you when I'm drunk."

They end up watching horror films, even though Harry protests quite fervently when Niall suggests them.

_But why horror films?_

_What do you suggest we watch?_

_The Notebook._

_Not a chance this is a lad’s night not a teenage girl cry party._

_That's stereotypical._

_We're watching the horror films._

Louis doesn't know how Niall didn't give in to that pout, Louis had been on Harry's side in mere seconds when he'd turned to him with wide greens eyes and pretty pink pouted lips.

And so they end up sprawled on the couch in Niall's tiny sitting room with blankets, popcorn, and beer. Louis is feeling sufficiently content in his corner of the couch, cradling a can of beer in his hand and wrapped up in a cocoon of warm fluffy blankets when Harry plops down next to him and pouts up at him, "I wanted to watch the Notebook."

"Aw, love," Louis says with an amused smile as he wraps an arm around Harry's broad shoulders and pulls him into his side "I'll watch the Notebook with you another time. Deal?"

Harry's pout quickly turns into what Louis has come to realize is his genuine smile, lips stretched so wide across his face it looks like it’s painful. "Thanks Lou you're my new bestest friend."

The imitation of Lux startles a loud bark of laughter out of Louis, to be honest he didn't even realize Harry still remembered what Lux had told him the first time they'd met.

Harry looks back at him with a self-satisfied smile and Louis quirks an eyebrow in question. "What?"

"I like your laugh" Harry says with a happy sigh before Niall starts the film and he turns his head to the television.

Louis stares at Harry fondly for a beat before he turns to watch as well.

The first time Harry jumps Louis doesn't think much of it and just keeps to his side of the couch and continues watching the film, but after the third time Louis looks over to see if he's alright and is startled to see his eyes wide in fright and his limbs are all curled into each other defensively.

"You alright?" He whispers, placing a hand on the younger boy’s shoulder. He jumps under Louis' touch before turning to him sheepishly.

"Yeah, m'fine, just get scared easily I guess." Louis smiles gently and curls an arm around Harry's waist to pull him closer. 

"I'll keep you safe" he whispers into his ear, and he feels Harry melt into his touch, the tension sliding away.

After that Louis stops watching the film, he's seen it a million times already and Harry is much more interesting anyway.

He watches the way the light from the screen dances across his face and illuminates the sharp cut of his jaw and the curl of his eyelashes. The way his eyes widen with every music change and how his long fingers curl around Louis' bicep when he gets particularity frightened.

The next time Harry jolts he actually lets out a cry of distress and throws himself into Louis' lap.

Louis makes a sound of surprise as he looks down at his lap where Harry is sprawled, hiding his face in the crook of his elbow. He fights back an amused giggle as Harry's curls tickle his arms.

"Hazza, get up it's fine, it's not real." Louis soothes rubbing a hand over the knobs of his spine and smiling fondly as Harry responds to the touch with a sigh.

Eventually Louis manages to coax him into watching the rest of the film, although he refuses to leave Louis' lap. Louis is quite alright with that. Despite the younger boy being at least a head taller than him, he somehow fits perfectly in Louis' arms. Like he was meant to be there. 

Which- no Harry is only a mate. He pushes the offending thought from his mind and tries to focus back on the film.

Louis sees Zayn send him a smirk as Harry gets comfortable in his lap, head resting against his chest and legs intertwined with his. Louis is not in the mood to argue with Zayn about how cuddling can be platonic so he just sends the other boy a glare before resting his cheek on Harry's soft curls and sliding his hands around his waist to pull him closer.

It's totally platonic.

Louis wakes the next morning to empty arms. He ignores the disappointment pooling in his chest as he surveys the room around him. It's barely light outside, probably close to half six in the morning, Zayn and Niall are passed out on the other couch and Liam is snoring softly on the ground. 

Harry's nowhere to be found.

Under normal circumstances if Louis were to wake up at half six in the morning, he'd be going back to sleep without a second thought. But he can't, his arms feel too empty and he's cold without the warmth Harry's body had provided. So he pushes the blanket off his lap and wanders further into the flat to see where the curly headed lad could be.

As he's passing the kitchen he sees a flash of movement out on the terrace and freezes, squinting at the glass door. When he can't make anything out in the semi-darkness of the dawn he makes his way to the terrace and slides the door open.

He's met with the sight of Harry sitting cross legged on a mat with his eyes closed and a peaceful look on his face. He isn't wearing a shirt and Louis is surprised to see that his arms and chest are littered with tattoos. His eyes bulge as he notices a huge butterfly on his stomach and then he shakes his head fondly because honestly, that is just  _so_ Harry it's not even funny.

Louis stands a moment in the doorway, just admiring him, his pale skin contrasting against the gentle hues of the dawn and the faint light casting shadows across his face. The tattoos are extremely prominent against his pale skin and suddenly Louis gets to urge to run his fingers over them and find out what every single one means.

He steps barefoot onto the cool concrete of the terrace and Harry's eyes blink open at the noise. He stares at Louis with content eyes. Louis notices that they're a shade lighter than his usual emerald green and wonders absently whether his eyes always look like that in the morning.

"What are you doing?" he asks softy, afraid that if he talks any louder he'll break the lazy calmness of the moment.

"Yoga." Harry answers simply, not embarrassed at all and Louis is hit with a wave of admiration at how willing Harry is to just be himself, how he doesn't give a fuck what anyone else thinks of him.

"You're really something else Styles," Louis says sitting down next to him.

"Would you like to join me? I could teach you." Harry asks turning to him with earnest green eyes.

"Nah, I'm not flexible, doesn't seem like my cup of tea."

Harry pouts "Aw come on Louis, it's relaxing, I won't make you do anything crazy and you'd be surprised at how at peace you feel afterwards. I do yoga almost every morning, it clears the head and makes a day ten times better. Trust me yeah?"

Louis sighs and looks into Harry's twinkling irises, giving in with a huff, "Fine" he's quickly learning that those eyes will probably be the cause of his demise. If Harry asked him to go rob a bank with those eyes Louis would probably agree in two seconds flat. Those eyes are dangerous.

Louis settles himself more comfortably next to Harry and copies his position, crossing his legs and resting his hands palm up on his knees.

He looks up to see Harry looking down at him eyes gleaming with fondness and Louis has to look away to hide the way his cheeks color under his green eyed gaze.

"So how does this work?"

Harry grins lazily before going back to his position and closes his eyes "Okay, so copy what I do," Louis closes his eyes as well "concentrate on your breathing and try to relax, imagine all the stress leaving your body-"

Louis snorts and Harry peeks an eye open to glare at him "Just do it, it works I promise"

Louis huffs but does as he says taking in a deep breath and letting it out slowly, imagining all his problems floating away as the breath leaves his lips. He lets out a tiny sigh and feels his body relax. Next to him Harry breathes out as well.

"Okay now, keep concentrating on your breathing, we're going to change to another position," Harry says getting onto his knees, Louis blinks his eyes open and is startled to see that it's almost completely light out.  He looks up at Harry and sees him smiling knowingly. "Yeah, you sometimes lose track of time."

Louis gets up onto his knees next to Harry "This is the weirdest thing I have ever done," he informs.

Harry just smiles softly and tilts his head before getting into a lunge and putting his hands in the air, arching his back just so.

Louis freezes and stares at him wide eyed, watching the way the muscles in his stomach flex and then running his eyes over the perfect arch of his back.  

"This, is called the crescent lunge," he says with a smirk, Louis feels a pang of irritation, the bastard knows exactly what he's doing. "Try it Lou."

Louis glares at him for a second before getting into the position as best as he can, refusing to let Harry affect him. 

They stay in the crescent whatever position for a few long moments and Louis is just about to glance over at Harry to see if he's close to changing the position when he collapses on to the ground with a happy sigh. 

"Hmm, I think that's enough for your first time," he says looking up at Louis. “How do you feel?"

Louis gets out of the position and lies next to Harry, their forearms touching softly, "I feel content," he says with a sigh and turns to look at Harry, "It has nothing to do with the yoga though" he adds, it's not like he's actually going to admit he enjoyed yoga of all things.

"Whatever you say," Harry grins, wiggling his eyebrows and Louis lets out a soft laugh.

Harry smiles gently and looks up at the sky "Your laugh is really pretty," he murmurs quietly and Louis can feel his gaze on the side of his head.

He feels his face flush but he doesn't turn to look at Harry, instead staring hard at the sky. 

After a long while Harry points up at a cloud and giggles to himself "Hey, that one looks like a cat." 

Louis turns to look at the cloud Harry is pointing at and stares at it considerately "Looks more like a penis to me." 

Next to him Harry throws his head back against the yoga mat and cackles, his eyes glittering against the sun. Louis decides then and there that he's making it his new mission to get him to make that sound again.

Repeatedly,

Preferably forever.

If Louis' laugh is pretty, Harry's laugh is stunning.

Harry turns to look at Louis after he's calmed down "See any other genitals?" He asks with a giggle.

Louis looks imploringly back at the clouds and points to one that looks like nothing but a lump "if you look at that one hard enough you can make out a vagina," he says, hoping to get another laugh out of the younger boy.

To his surprise Harry grimaces "I think I'm allergic to those." 

Louis' eyes widen as the words leave Harry's lips and he turns to him slowly.

"Really? Wow, me too." he says in faux seriousness. They stare at each other for a beat before breaking out into hysteric giggles.

"Oh my god," Harry gets out between laughs.

"That is the most amusing way someone has ever told me their sexuality." Louis laughs throwing an arm over his eyes and trying to calm himself.

"That's the most amusing way I've ever told someone my sexuality," Harry laughs breathlessly and sits up, leaning onto his hands and looking down at Louis.

Louis sits up as well and crosses his legs with a smile.

"So," Harry starts, inching his hand closer to Louis' on the ground, Louis grins to himself and pretends he doesn't notice. "I've just realized that I don't know anything about you other than you work at a tattoo shop and that you're gay."

"Who said I was gay?"

Harry's face falls and his eyes lose their sparkle at Louis' words, "But you just said-"

"Calm down Curly, I'm joking, I'm as gay as they come, allergic to vaginas and all that."

Harry's smile reappears at that and Louis' feels like he's on fire, he doesn't really know what to make of the situation to be honest, he knows by now that Harry is most definitely interested. In what exactly, he's not sure.

"I want to know more about you," Harry says softly running his pinky down Louis'. Taking a deep breath Louis moves his pinky over Harry's and locks them together.

He sees Harry smile down at their hands a moment, green eyes shining.

"We could play 20 questions," Louis suggests. "I'd quite like to know more about you too flower boy."

Harry grins excitedly, "that's a great idea! I'll go first," he moves his gaze to the sky for a moment, mulling it over and then smiles to himself, turning to look back into Louis' eyes. Louis sees the green of his irises soften as their eyes meet and offers him a small smile in return "What's your favorite color of the sky?" 

Louis stares back at the younger boy in confusion. "That's your question?" He asks disbelievingly. "I thought this was about learning more about me?"

"It is, but boring questions ruin the fun of the game," Harry shrugs unapologetic, "this way I can figure out what your favorite color is without you telling me what you tell everyone else, a boring genetic color like blue or red," Louis frowns at Harry in confusion, “because most people are far too interesting to have such a genetic color be their favorite, they just don't realize it until the question is asked in a way they've never heard before." Louis shakes his head, he really should have seen this coming to be honest, of course Harry would want genuine answers.

"But-" he starts but Harry holds up a hand to silence him.

"Just answer, and answer honestly." 

Louis stares at Harry stubbornly for a beat then sighs in resignation. He looks up at the sky which is now a bright blue and remembers waking up early every morning as a child to watch the sunrise. 

He remembers being fascinated by the way the sky could change colors so quickly and waking up extra early to watch it out on the balcony. 

"I think the pinkish orange right as the sun is starting to rise," he starts quietly, not letting his gaze leave the sky, "it reminds me that each day is a new start and it was my favorite thing to watch as a kid, the whole town would be asleep and it made me feel like I was in on some kind of secret, you know? Being the only one awake." he doesn't turn to look at Harry for his reaction, feeling an embarrassed blush warming his cheeks. What is he even doing, baring his soul to this boy he barely even knows? He's never even told his mum about his early mornings on the balcony.

Harry just makes it so bloody easy to talk to with his fucking earnest eyes and stupid comforting smile. He could probably find out anyone's secrets after just a few minutes with them. He should be a spy.

When Louis finally peeks up at him through his eyelashes Harry smiles "See? Would you have said that color if I had simply asked what your favorite color was?" 

Louis begrudgingly shakes his head before looking fully up at the taller boy, "What about you? What's your favorite color of the sky?" he asks in an attempt to get the attention off of himself.

Harry hums thoughtfully for a second before quirking his lips slightly, "Right as the sun starts to set and the blue gets highlights of gold woven into it." he locks eyes with Louis, "Like your eyes." 

Louis gulps and looks away from Harry's piercing gaze. How the hell does Harry, a boy he’s just met make him speechless with just a few words, when people who have known him ages can’t even manage it? The thought should scare him more than it does.

He clears his throat, "My turn," he lets his eyes run self-indulgently over Harry's chest and stomach, littered with tattoos, "What's with all the tattoos?"

Harry simply shrugs noncommittally, "Like 'em."

Louis rolls his eyes, "Obviously, but why? I mean you don't-" he hesitates

"I don't seem like the kind of person to get tattoos?" Harry finishes for him.

"Yeah," Louis says lamely, hoping he hasn't offended the younger boy.

"Well, I pride myself in defying stereotypes." Harry says with a smile and Louis has to giggle because that is probably the most accurate statement about Harry Styles that he's ever heard.

He snorts, "You could say that again."

Harry smirks at Louis before standing up from the floor and holding a hand out to him, "You love it."

***

_Why do you think flamingos stand on only one leg?_

Louis shakes his head and bites his lip to stop a wide smile from breaking out into his face as he reads his most recent text from Harry while he's on his afternoon shift at Wildfire.

After their intimate morning on the balcony Harry has started texting him a lot more often. He sends just about anything that's on his mind, ranging from random emoji's all the way to the most _terrible_ jokes Louis has ever heard.

He'd never admit is but he might grow more endeared by the younger boy with every new text he receives.

A second later his phones buzzes again and a photo of Harry posing in front of a flamingo enclosure grinning like a loon and pointing behind him at the flamingos pops onto his screen.

_Where the hell are you??_

He types out in reply with a roll of his eyes and tries to push away the warm feeling that courses through his body as he looks at Harry's idiotically wide smile on his phone screen.

He's not endeared

He's _not_

_Zoo_

Comes Harry's reply and Louis rolls his eyes again to stop them from crinkling in the way he knows they do when he genuinely smiles.

_Just left though, you still at work?_

_Yeah: / stuck here till 8_

_I'm coming_

That's another thing, ever since they'd talked on the balcony Harry has randomly started showing up at Wildfire during Louis' shifts, always bearing tea and scones from the coffee shop. He's a godsend really. Louis has come to expect him at least once every day and it's almost worrisome how seamlessly Harry has fit into his life in only seven short days.

Soon enough he hears the jingle of the bell signaling someone's come in and the sound of clapping heels that he's come to recognize as Harry's boots on the tile.

"Tea?" Harry asks looking disheveled and running his free hand through his hair as he offers Louis a Styrofoam cup.

When Louis carefully takes the cup from his hands Harry haphazardly tosses the bag that Louis knows has the scones in it onto the counter and flops down next to him.

"Slow day?" He asks casually as if he isn't making Louis' insides flop with the way his shirt is riding up on his stomach and how his hair is falling into his face even though he's got a forest green scarf tied into the curly locks.

"Yes, I'm bored as hell no one ever comes here at this time." 

"I can help with that I think," Harry says with a smirk before getting up and walking to the back of the shop where the speaker system is set up.

"What are you doing?" Louis questions, coming out from behind the counter and leaning against the front of it.

Harry doesn't reply, just sends Louis another smirk and pulls out his phone, unlocking it and scrolling through something with a frown etched across his face.

Louis watches in silence as the other boy looks for whatever the hell he's looking for and ignores the warmth in his stomach as he sees Harry's eyes light up as he finds it.

He plugs his phone into the system and turns around with arms spread wide as the opening of “Let it Go” from _Frozen_ starts drifting through the speakers.

Louis makes a face and glares at Harry, "You can't be serious."

"We," Harry says with a giddy smile, "Are going to do karaoke."

"Hell no we aren't," Louis replies with a roll of his eyes and Harry pouts down at him. Louis shakes his head, Harry may be able to make him do a lot of things with that pout, but under no circumstances will he sing karaoke, especially not to a bloody Disney song.

"Come on Lou, I know you know the words!"

"No, I am a 24 year old adult. I'm too old for this, and so are you."

"No one's ever too old for Disney, don't be such a spoil sport." Harry skips over to him and starts singing as he grabs Louis hand and twirls him around suddenly. "Besides, you have no choice, it's either this or High School Musical, take your pick."

Louis blows at his flopping quiff as he stumbles back into a standing position after almost falling over from Harry's unexpected twirl and glares at the taller boy again. He crosses his arms as Harry shrugs and brings a curled fist to his mouth, like he's holding an invisible microphone and hops onto the counter, belting out the chorus and dancing terribly like he doesn't have a care in the world.

He probably doesn't.

Louis feels himself smile as he watches Harry make a fool of himself. And the thing is, it does actually look fun. 

There was a time when Louis would have been all for hopping onto a counter for some impromptu karaoke, probably would have been the one instigating it, but that boy is long gone.

Still, there's an itching in his bones, his body wants him to get up there and sing his fucking heart out with this boy who's looking at him like he's hung the fucking moon or something, but he can't. He’s afraid of giving himself away, giving away the person who hides under a mask of tattoos and leather jackets. Instead he lets his smile grow wider on his face.

Harry winks down at him when he sees that Louis has started smiling, and Louis has to bite down on his lip to try and contain the laugh that's trying to bubble out of him.

"I know you want to," Harry says with a knowing smirk, bending over and holding a hand out to Louis.

"No I do not," Louis says stubbornly, but he knows the way his eyes are shining is giving him away.

"Don't be afraid of letting go Lou," Harry says softly, searching Louis' eyes before smiling like he's found something. He then proceeds to grab Louis' hand and unceremoniously haul him up onto the counter next to him.

He turns to him with hopeful eyes and Louis takes a deep breath before singing the last chorus of the song with Harry's arm around his shoulders and his green eyes looking into his unwaveringly.

Because maybe Harry makes him want that person that's been hiding for so long to be found.

***

That's how Zayn finds them, a giggling heap on the counter where they've fallen into hysterics after a hilarious rendition of N _ever Had A Friend Like Me_ from Aladdin complete with funny voices and alarmingly bad dancing.

The music is still playing like a background track to their laughter as the bell rings, signaling Zayn's arrival.

When he sees the two boys sprawled on the counter his face contorts into a look of horror.

"Louis, please tell me this isn't fucking Disney."

That sends both Louis and Harry into another round of giggles that has Harry hiding his face in Louis stomach and Louis throwing his forehead onto Harry's back to try and smother his laughter.

"You're both knob heads," Zayn mutters to himself as he walks away.

***

"I want to dye my hair," Louis announces as Harry bustles into Wildfire during Louis' afternoon shift with two cups of tea and scones like usual.

He sets the stuff on the counter and turns to Louis with a questioning eyebrow. "I like the red highlights," he says running his fingers softly through Louis' hair. He tries not to lean too much into Harry's touch as he brushes Louis' fringe out of his eyes.

"I want a change," Louis whispers into the small amount of space between their bodies.

"Why?" 

Louis shrugs and smiles as best as he can with Harry's body so close to his. "Just do."

He doesn't tell him that he's been thinking about what he'd said the other day constantly,

_Don't be afraid to let go._

It put some thoughts in his head that he hasn't had since high school, about letting down the walls he's carefully built, about maybe letting himself be found. He doesn't tell him how he's so fucking terrified of being found and he doesn't tell him he needs to change his hair color because it has always been his coping mechanism, his way of expressing how he feels without having to actually say it. He's never been good with words.

He does smile fondly when Harry tilts his head and leans his elbows on the counter in front of Louis. "What color?"

Louis is still constantly amazed at how accepting Harry is, of the way he doesn't give a shit that they are nothing alike. Harry with his flower crowns and soft pastel jumpers and Louis with his dyed hair and leather jackets. If they'd have been friends in high school they would have gotten stares wherever they went. 

_Green like your eyes, because even though I know I can't have you I need to have you somehow._

He doesn't say it just smiles slightly, looks into Harry's eyes and says, "green." 

"Green," Harry repeats "I think it'll look great. Can I help you dye it?"

Louis' about to decline the offer, but then he sees how adorably eager Harry is, his eyes shining hopefully and lips quirked into a grin.

"Alright," he relents and sends Harry a quick text with the address of his flat.

"Ace!" Harry says enthusiastically, coming around the counter to pull Louis into his side with a grin.

***

Harry arrives at Louis' flat five minutes late wearing a bright grin and holding a bag of scones out in front of him eagerly.

"Sorry I'm late, passed by the coffee shop on my way here and thought I'd get us a snack," he says as he steps into the flat.

He stands in the doorway a while, his eyes roaming the room with the ratty couch and old take out still sitting on the coffee table. Louis feels himself grow self-conscious, he hadn't thought about cleaning the place up.

He clears his throat awkwardly, "Sorry for the mess."

Harry shakes his head slightly at that, "No, don't apologize, I like it, it looks lived in."

Louis smiles and beckons Harry to follow him to his room, he gives Harry a quick tour of the small space as they go, the tiny kitchen that he barely uses, the guest room, and finally his own room.

He takes a deep breath before pushing open the door and lets Harry follow him in, his heart is beating in his chest as Harry's eyes roam the room.

He doesn't usually show people his room because it's the only place he's really completely himself.

The duvet on his bed is a soft mint green, one of his favorite colors (but if anyone asks his favorite is totally black) there's a desk in the corner littered with random sketches of things that have inspired him, and over the desk he has pictures of everything and everyone he loves pinned to the wall.

Some are notes his mum sent in the mail telling him she loves and misses him, some are drawings his sisters have made him, some are things he's drawn himself and is particularly proud of, some are pictures of actual people; of his family and friends back in Doncaster, at least a dozen photos of Lux, and a handful of Zayn Eleanor Tom and Lou. Recently, Louis has pinned up a selfie he and Harry had taken one day at Wildfire. He blushes as he sees Harry's eyes land on it.

"So...” Louis says quietly "This is my room."

Harry turns to him with sparkling eyes, "I love it, it's very you," he looks at him intensely and Louis feels like he's made of glass, like Harry can see straight through him.

He clears his throat awkwardly before walking into the bathroom and bringing out the green hair dye and a couple of old towels.

"Okay, so," he looks up at Harry, "have you ever dyed hair before?" 

Harry shrugs his shoulders, "I've helped my sister once or twice."

"Alright, I guess I won't have to teach you then," Louis says with a smile and drags his desk chair to the center of the room before sitting on it, "but first could you help me get these towels over my shoulders?"

"Okay," Harry agrees walking closer and biting his lower lip as he smooths the towels over Louis' shoulders. He looks much too concentrated, with his furrowed brows and determined set to his jaw, and Louis has to bite his own lip to stop himself from laughing.

"You do know that this isn't some kind of exam right?" 

Harry rolls his eyes and flicks Louis' shoulder.

"Shut up, I'm just being careful." 

Louis flinches away at the flick but can't help himself from laughing at the way Harry pouts down at him.

"Shut up," Harry whines again and Louis sends him a smile.

"Okay, I'm sorry for questioning your methods. You ready for the fun part now?" 

"Hell yeah."

***

After Harry had gotten the dye onto Louis' hair while singing random indie songs that Louis has never even heard of he sits down in front of Louis cross legged with a smile.

"Okay so the box says we have to wait twenty minutes before washing it out." Harry says placing the box on Louis' desk without getting up.

"So, what should we do for twenty minutes then?" 

Harry walks over to Louis' bedside table and picks up the picture frame sitting there. 

It’s a photo of Louis and his family, his 4 sisters and his mum all smiling and his first ever boyfriend, Jake. Louis is 17 and smiling a blinding smile into the camera one arm around his mum and the other around Jake. The picture was taken the day before everything went to hell. 

"When was this taken?" Harry asks holding the frame up.

Louis averts his gaze.

"Erm around six years ago," he blows out a breath and hopes Harry hadn't noticed the way his voice shook over the words.

"Who's the bloke? I thought you said you didn't have any brothers." 

Louis gulps and curses the world for making Harry such a curious person. 

"Erm, he's my ex." 

Harry's eyes widen and he puts the picture frame down suddenly, walking over to sit down on the floor next to Louis' chair again.

"Was he your first boyfriend?" 

Louis can feel tears threatening to spill and he shakes his head to try and clear his thoughts "I-I'd rather not talk about it, it didn't end all that well." 

Harry looks up at him sadly and rests his chin on Louis' thigh.

"Let me guess, you were in love with him and he broke your heart," he mumbles into Louis' thighs and looks up at him earnestly. When Louis just gulps shakily in answer Harry’s eyes harden, "he's a dick."

Louis shakes his head fondly and looks down at Harry with as much of a smile as he can muster. Harry is looking back up at him sincerely and Louis can feel the lump in his throat starting to disappear under his gaze.

"I thought I was in love with him,” Louis chuckles bitterly “thought it was love at first sight for me to be honest, the sap I was back then, but I was wrong, I was never in love with him."

"Why do you say that?" Harry's eyes are piercing and Louis can't look away.

"I could never be in love with someone like that."

Harry's eyes harden and it looks like he wants to ask more but he visibly stops himself. Louis' glad, at this rate, it Harry were to ask, Louis would probably spill everything to him, and then when Harry would inevitably leave Louis would be alone again.

"You said back then, do you still believe in love at first sight now?" He asks instead.

Louis' heart beats faster at the words and for some reason he remembers seeing pretty pink lips and soft curls for the first time.

"Do you?" he counters softly.

Harry stares up at Louis a moment, "I think," he moves his head from Louis' thighs and leans back onto his hands on the ground, "that you can definitely be infatuated with someone when you first meet them," he smiles up at Louis softly, "and then you fall in love with them afterwards."

Louis doesn't know what to do with that to be honest, he hadn't expected such an honest answer and now Harry is looking up at him with that look, like he's the single most important thing in the world. He feels his cheeks flush.

He doesn't know what to do, so he just looks away.

"You know Louis, you're not what I expected at all."

Louis turns back to Harry's sprawled from on the floor and quirks an eyebrow, glad for the subject change.

"I thought you'd be some sort of punk bad boy hooligan that was scary as fuck, and I know that's stereotypical of me, but I've got to be honest, you surprised me."

"You surprised me too."

"I-I did?"

"I never thought I could click with someone who was so different from me so well," Louis says, warmth building in his chest. Harry's just so lovely with his smile and his warmth and his fucking honesty. Louis just really wants to pull him into his lap and never let him go.

Harry looks up at Louis through his eyelashes and grins knowingly.

"Maybe we're not as different as we seem."

***

"Fuck, I can't do this" Harry paces the shop in distress, almost walking into a shelf of lilies and knocking the whole thing over.

"Calm down Haz, everything will be fine."

Harry spins on his heel and looks at Louis with wide panicked eyes, "No, it won't! The grand opening is tomorrow and I'm nowhere near ready to do this! Why did I think I could run an entire shop by myself? It's not possible. This is going to fail spectacularly. What am I going to do? Fuck!"

Louis hooks his chin over Harry's shoulder to get him to stop pacing and smiles when Harry melts back into his chest. Louis snakes his arms around his waist and cuddles his face into the warmth of his neck, breathing in his strawberry scent.

"You're not by yourself. You've got me." he mumbles into his neck and pulls away a bit to look into the other boy's eyes, he breathes out a sigh of relief when he sees they look less panicked than before, "and Niall, and Zayn and Liam, and all the employees you've hired, we'll all help you. You'll never be alone okay?"

Harry breathes out shakily and Louis is close enough that he can feel the warmth of his breath fan across his face. He has to fight back a shudder.

"Thank you," Harry breathes before turning in Louis' arms and pulling him into a hug. It's different from other hugs Louis’ had, Harry buries his face into his hair and his arms are so tight around him that he can barely breathe, it's the first time in a long while that he's felt completely loved. The warmth spreads from his chest all the way to his toes as they sway together in the middle of the shop, flowers all around them. He doesn't ever want to let go.

He doesn't know how long they stay like that seconds? Minutes? Hours? All he knows is that it isn't long enough.

When Harry pulls away his eyes are bright again and Louis wants to pull him back into his chest.

"Better?" 

Harry smiles down at him "Yeah, I think so." Louis nods to himself, he does look calmer than he was a few minutes ago, but Louis knows by now what Harry's eyes look like when he's completely relaxed and this isn't it. He can still see bits of panic laced behind the brightness.

He leaves Harry's shop a few hours later after helping Harry with last minute preparations with a nagging feeling of worry in his chest and an idea.

***

The next morning Louis wakes up early and googles the closest flower shop to his flat. He feels a swell of pride in his chest as Harry's shop pops onto his screen. It's not even open yet and it's on the map.

He clicks on the second closest one before pulling on his shoes and heading into the summer morning on his motorcycle.

When he reaches the flower shop he giddily walks in with a spring to his step.

A girl at the counter looks up as he walks in, she has blond hair tied into a side braid with flowers woven into it and Louis is instantly reminded of Harry's flowers crowns.

"Good morning," the girl says with a warm smile, "Can I help you with anything?" 

Louis' giddy smile widens at her words "Actually," he looks down at the girl’s nametag, "Perrie you can absolutely help me with something."

Perrie's eyes brighten at him and she beckons him closer to the counter.

"So what are you looking for?"

"Um, would you happen to know what type of flower means good luck?" Louis asks softly, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed about his idea.

Perrie smiles at him again, "As a matter of fact I do," she walks away and comes back with a light green flower, holding it out for Louis to take.

Louis gingerly takes it and examines it carefully. It's a beautiful green and has a bell shape, though it doesn't look much like a flower, he says as much.

"It's commonly debated whether they're considered actual flowers but I like to think they are, they're just a little odd," Perrie replies.

Louis touches the petal softly and he brings the flower to his nose and inhales the sweet scent. Yes, he decides, Harry will love them. They're like him; odd, yet wonderful.

"They're called Molucellas, or Bells of Ireland," Perrie tells him, a fond smile playing on her lips.

"I'll take a whole bouquet of them."

Perrie grins knowingly "I thought you'd say that."

She gathers a dozen of the Molucellas, ties the flowers together with a blue bow and hands them to Louis, who handles them with the care of a new born baby. He is not going to let anything happen to these flowers, he may be known for causing disasters but he will not under any circumstances let these flowers get ruined.

"Would you like to add a note?"

Louis agrees, scribbling a _Good Luck Haz_ onto the pink card Perrie hands him.

"So," she says, raising her eyebrows, "these for someone special?”

"The most special," Louis replies softly, looking fondly down at the bouquet.

***

Louis gets back to Harry's shop only ten minutes before the start of the Grand Opening Party and the first thing he's greeted with is Harry's worried face looking anxiously out the window.

There are at least three dozen people waiting outside behind a ribbon in the doorway that Harry's going to cut with one of those giant scissors like in the films, because Harry is a giant dork who has bloody stupid, yet somehow endearing ideas.

Louis pushes his way through the throng of people to the front of the shop stepping gingerly over the ribbon and making his way inside, waving off the employees who try to stop him.

"Lou," Harry breathes out as his eyes land on him and Louis can see him visibly relax. "I thought you weren't going to make it for a second there."

Louis smiles softly, "I wouldn't miss this for the world," he pulls the flowers out from behind his back and holds them out, "These are for you, good luck!"

Harry's eyes widen at the bouquet and when he looks back at Louis his eyes are misty, "You got me flowers?"

"Yeah, I- you just seemed nervous so um, I know you love flowers so I thought they would- uh help, " Louis trips over his words, looking down bashfully.

"No, don't," Harry stops him, placing a finger under his chin. "This is the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for me, thank you."

His eyes are shining happily as he looks down at the bouquet again, taking it softly from Louis' hands. "These are Bells of Ireland aren't they? They mean good luck, how'd you know?"

"Asked the girl at the flower shop."

Harry smirks. "How dare you Lou, buying from my competition," he shakes his head disapprovingly.

Louis snorts indignantly in reply and shoves Harry in the shoulder in mock offense.

"Tosser."

The party goes well despite Harry almost falling over and dropping the giant scissors on to Louis and Zayn when he cuts the ribbon which Louis would probably have been a lot more pissed about it if Harry hadn't looked at Louis right after, his green eyes alight and murmured a breathless oops paired with tiny a giggle in his direction. After that all he was capable of was a fond eye roll.

Harry stops looking so nervous and jumpy five minutes into it, prancing around and showing off his flowers to everyone and happily spouting off information about the flowers to anyone who will listen. His eyes are bright green, a wide smile stretched across his face. He's practically glowing and Louis can't look away.

After the last person leaves, leaving only Harry, Louis, Zayn, Niall, Liam, and Eleanor in the shop, Harry switches the sign on the door to ‘Closed’ and flops down onto a chair.

"Well that was a success," Liam says coming and sitting next to Harry.

"It was bloody amazing," Harry says looking up at Liam with shining eyes, "All those people came here for me, or well my flowers, but still, I just can't believe it."

"You definitely deserve it, you've worked hard on this place, and the flowers are beautiful," Louis says softly, taking a seat on the other side of Harry.

"We should go out and celebrate!" Niall exclaims excitedly.

"That's a great idea," Harry grins.

***

As soon as they enter the club Louis makes a beeline for the bar and quickly orders a round for them.

He hands a drink to each person and holds up his own glass in a toast. "To Harry," he cheers and clicks his glass against Harry's with a wide grin.

"To Harry," the others echo and Louis quickly downs his drink, already feeling looser with some alcohol in his system.

After that Niall, Liam and Eleanor disappear off to the dance floor and Zayn just outright disappears, leaving Harry and Louis alone at the bar.

"So, you happy with your Grand Opening party?" Louis asks with a smile, ordering both of them another drink.

"More than happy, I couldn't have done it without you," Harry says with a smile, his hair falling softly on his forehead and a lazy smile on his face. He looks like sunshine and Louis really, really wants to kiss him, wants to kiss the warmth off of him, wants to feel the burning touch of his lips.

He shakes his head harshly and scoots farther away.

No, he and Harry are just friends, that's it. He can't be thinking things like that if he wants this to last.

He pinks up his drink downs it as fast as he can.

“Hey you alright?” Harry asks with worried eyes.

Louis looks up at the taller boy. He has his long hair tied up in a messy bun and he’s wearing a sheer floral shirt that’s so ridiculous Louis would laugh if it didn’t give him the perfect view of his lean torso and defined abs, littered with tattoos.

Louis wants him.

He wants him like the air he breathes.

But he _cant._

Maybe it's the alcohol thrumming through his veins that makes him say it, or maybe it's the bloke on the other side of the club that's been staring at Harry hungrily for the past five minutes but Louis abruptly stands up and offers Harry his hand despite knowing it's a terrible idea.

"Dance with me."

Harry smiles and takes his hand but Louis can still see a trace of worry in his eyes.

“Calm down, I’m fine,” Louis assures over his shoulder as he pulls Harry into the mess of sweaty bodies on the dance floor.

He lets himself loose, moving in time to the music and the people around him, Harry warm by his side. He lets the loud bass thrum through his body and closes his eyes.

When he opens them he sees the same bloke that had been eyeing Harry on the other side of the dance floor making his way towards Harry.

Louis glares at him and grabs Harry’s wrist pulling him into his chest and curling a protective arm around his waist.

Harry doesn’t even question it, just lays his head onto Louis shoulder and moves his hips against his sinfully.

Louis is speechless, he didn’t even know Harry could, move like that. He completely forgets about the bloke, his sole focus on the feel of Harry against him as they dance together.

Louis can feel his trousers tightening and knows Harry does too when he turns his face to his. Louis’ heart skips a beat, as their eyes lock, Harry’s face is flushed a pale pink from the heat and his eyes are wide and dark. Louis absolutely wants to ruin him. Before he can say anything Harry leans his face in close to Louis’ so that their lips almost touch.

“Want you so bad Lou,” he breathes onto his lips, his voice an octave lower than usual. Louis gulps hard and grabs a fistful of Harry’s curls in his hand, tugging them slightly before slamming their lips together without even thinking about it.

The kiss is sloppy and desperate, full of tongue and spit but all Louis registers is how soft Harry’s lips are against his, how they fit together so easily.

When he can’t hold his breath any longer Louis pulls away and stares at Harry, searching his eyes for any signs of regret. When he doesn’t find any he leans in to his ear.

“Let’s get out of here,” he whispers lowly. He knows it stupid, god it’s probably the stupidest thing he’s ever done but he’s not thinking straight, drunk on the feel of Harry’s lips and his burning touch on his skin.

“Yeah,” Harry breathes out, his eyes dark with want and Louis can’t pull them out of the throng of people fast enough.

As soon as they’ve made it off of the dance floor, Louis pushes Harry up against a wall and connects their lips again. He feels Harry press his hips into his and Louis moans into his mouth as he feels the hard line of his cock against his thigh.

“God Harry, stop we're in a public place,” he hisses out and Harry actually laughs, as Louis drops his forehead onto his shoulder.

“Well I’m impatient lets go,” Harry replies with a smirk pushing his hips into Louis’ again.

Louis barely holds back a moan, and glares at Harry once he’s recovered somewhat.

“Stop it for one bloody second so I can think straight, I need to tell the boys we’re leaving.”

Harry whines high in his throat “They’ll figure it out, come _on._ Need you now.” Louis can’t just say no to _that_ can he? Harry’s right they’ll figure it out, who gives a fuck. The only thing that matters right now is getting the fuck out of here before he explodes from sexual frustration.

“Hurry up Lou, before I take care of this myself,” Harry grumbles, pouting with dark eyes and pressing closer to Louis.

“Don’t you dare,” Louis glares before dragging Harry out the door and hailing a cab.

As soon as they stumble into the back seat and Harry quickly mumbles his address to the driver, Louis lunges at him, pinning him against the door and kissing him hard.

Louis grinds down into Harry's hips, craving the friction and his breath gets caught in his throat as Harry throws his head back at the contact, he stares in awe, at the pale column of his neck, he’s breathtaking.

Louis sneaks his hand under Harry’s button down shirt, running it over his warm skin and kissing down his neck as Harry shudders against his touch, whining softly into Louis’ shoulder.

“Want you to fuck me” he whispers hoarsely into Louis’ neck.

Louis heart stutters in his chest and he almost pulls off the other boy's shirt right then and there so he can trace his tongue over the tattoos he knows are hiding under the cloth and make him shuddering mess under him, but he controls himself for the sake of the driver.

He’s not that inconsiderate.

It may also be because he doesn’t want anyone else to see Harry’s naked skin but no one needs to know that.

“As soon as we get to the flat,” he promises breathlessly.

As they pull up in front of Harry’s complex Louis practically throws the money into the driver’s hand and scrambles out of the cab as fast as he can.

Harry giggles as the two of them stumble into the building and Louis kisses him again as soon as the lift doors close behind them. Harry’s lips are soft and they move against Louis’ sinfully, eliciting an involuntary moan from him.

The ding of the bell startles them away from each other and Harry giggles again as he grabs Louis’ hand and pulls him to his door, fumbling with the keys for a second before he cries out in triumph as the door clicks open.

Louis has to hold back a laugh as he takes in the flat, there are plants everywhere. On the window sills, on the kitchen counters, on the coffee table, on the floor near the windows, literally everywhere.

“Shut up,” Harry grumbles as he turns and sees the look on his face.

Louis holds up his hands in surrender, “I didn’t say anything.”

“But you were thinking it,” Harry insists with a pout. Louis giggles and wonders when Harry learned to read his mind.

“Never mind that, I’m pretty sure I was promised sex, I’m tired of waiting.”

Harry stalks up to him and pulls him into a positively filthy kiss that has Louis going weak in the knees.

“Right yeah, sex,” Louis replies, dazed.

Harry laughs and pulls him to a room down the hall and falls back onto the bed, pulling Louis with him.

Louis wastes no time in pulling the other boy’s shirt off, bringing his lips to the birds tattooed to his collarbone and sucking hard.

Harry lets out a high keening sound and Louis smirks against his skin, sucking harder. He makes his way down the soft skin of his chest and stomach to the waistband of his trousers and presses soft kisses to the skin there as Harry breathes shakily under him.

He places a soft hand on the button of his trousers and looks up questioningly for permission. Harry gives him a jerky nod, his face flushed and eyes desperate. He looks so pretty and openly desperate for him that Louis has to look away quickly to stop himself from coming on the spot.

He slowly unzips his trousers and pulls them down his legs, palming him through his boxers as he kisses along his thighs.

“Stop, being such a bloody tease,” Harry breathes bucking up into Louis’ hand, Louis smirks at the desperation laced in his voice, he did that, him, and technically he hasn’t even touched him yet.

He decides to let him have it and quickly pulls the boxers down his legs. He sits on his hunches as he lets his eyes roam over Harry’s naked body, his hands softly stroking the tattoos littered across his milky skin.

 “Louuu,” Harry whines moving his hips towards him.

“Alright, alright, so impatient,” he chuckles, grabbing Harry’s hard cock in his hand and pumping it up and down expertly, reveling in the high whimpers and curses Harry lets out. His lips bitten red and eyes blown with lust.

“So pretty for me,” he murmurs into the skin of Harry’s neck before biting down on his collarbone while keeping a steady pace, twisting his wrist on the upstroke.

“I find it quite unfair that I’m completely naked while you’re fully dressed” Harry pants out, bringing shaky hands to the hem of Louis’ shirt and tugging.

Louis rolls his eyes and pulls the shirt over his head.

“You’re quite bossy you know that?” he questions bringing his hand back to his cock and cutting off his reply with a kiss.

Harry moans against his lips and pushes his hand away.

“Stop,”

“What why? What happened? Did I do something wrong?” Louis questions, panicked, looking down at the other boy with wide eyes.

“No, no, it’s just- if we keep this up I’m going to come before I even get you inside of me.”

Louis sucks in a harsh breath at his words. Fuck, this is happening, it’s actually happening.

“I-um-are you sure you want to do this?” he asks shakily.

Harry doesn’t even hesitate, just nods his head determinedly. Louis stares at him skeptically, this has to be a joke, there’s no way someone like Harry, someone so stunning and incredible could ever want him like this.

“How drunk are you?”

“Less drunk than you are,” Harry replies sitting up and placing a hand on Louis’ hip. “Look I know you want this just as much as I do, I can see it in your eyes, so can we please get over with this whole doubting yourself thing. I _want_ you, can’t you just stop overthinking everything for one night?”

Louis feels a spark of want, he’s right, he does want this, wants it so fucking bad his hands are shaking with it. So he closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and stops thinking.

***

Louis wakes up in an unfamiliar bed and sits up quickly, clutching his head as it starts throbbing with the fast movement.

He sees a glass of water and Advil sitting on the bedside table. He reaches for them gratefully and notices a note stuck to the bottle.

_Hope this helps with the hangover x. H_

He smiles slightly to himself at the note and suddenly the events of the night before come rushing back.

Harry coming part under him, responding to his every touch in the most beautiful way. It was arguably the best sex he’s had in a while.

He gulps, wondering what this means for them. He hopes to god he hasn’t ruined what he and Harry have. They click so well and he can’t bear the thought of losing him because of a stupid drunk decision.

He quickly takes the Advil, finds his boxers thrown haphazardly on the floor, and picks up a soft purple jumper of Harry’s pulling it on over himself, grumbling as the sleeves hang over his hands. Why does Harry have to be such a bloody giant?

He walks to the kitchen, his heart sinking in his chest as he realizes that he and Harry are probably going to have to talk about this, if they don’t everything’s just going to be awkward and he really doesn’t want that.

He braces himself as he walks into the kitchen and sees Harry turned to the stove, wearing nothing but his boxers, humming softly under his breath.

Louis stares at the smooth expanse of his back and remembers how his hands had run down that same soft skin just the night before.

 He takes deep breath and clears his throat, Harry turns around, and to Louis’ surprise his eyes light up as they land on him.

“Morning Lou, breakfast is almost ready,” he says, grinning and gesturing to the table, it all feels normal and Louis can’t help but blow out a relieved breath.

He should have known Harry wouldn’t make it weird. He’s hit with a wave of fondness for the younger boy, he somehow always knows what Louis needs, whether it’s unconsciously or not.

“Sleep well?” Harry asks turning from the stove and handing Louis a plate piled with eggs and pancakes.

“Yeah,” he replies softy, feeling suddenly uncomfortable with the way Harry’s acting completely normal, almost too normal, as if he’s trying to avoid the elephant in the room.

“Shouldn’t we talk about what happened last night?” Louis blurts out without thinking.

Harry’s eyes flash with panic for a second before he smiles and sits down across from Louis at the table “Sure.”

Louis looks down at the table, suddenly not sure what to say, “I- um well, we were both drunk last night, and I guess that led us to make some pretty stupid decisions,” he starts carefully.

Harry bites his lower lip and nods but doesn’t say a word. He won’t meet his eyes and Louis is surprised to see that for the first time since he’s met him his eyes don’t convey any sort of emotion.

“So um, I guess uh what I’m saying is that we can both agree that last night was a stupid drunk decision yeah?”

Harry nods slowly and mutters a confirmation under his breath, Louis really hates that he had to start this stupid conversation, Harry looks like he’s feeling terribly awkward and this was exactly what Louis had been trying to avoid. Everything had been fine until Louis had brought this up goddammit.

“I don’t want this to mess up what we have, Haz.” Harry smiles slightly at the nickname and Louis’ feels a little bit better, “So, um yeah I hope what happened doesn’t make this weird or anything. You were a wonderful shag if that’s worth anything, best sex I’ve had in ages.”

Harry takes a deep breath and finally looks at him again, Louis is relieved to find mischief shining behind his eyes.

“I was the best shag you’ve had in ages?” Harry asks with a smirk.

Louis groans internally,he's never going to live this down.

“Yes, I can appreciate some good sex Harold,” he retorts, glad that Harry has gone back to normal. He doesn’t know what happened but the emotionless boy who had been in front of him earlier had honestly made his heart hurt and he hopes he’ll never have to see that boy again.

Harry laughs, “Wow, and I was drunk, imagine what I could do sober,” he grins wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Louis rolls his eyes and pushes at Harry’s shoulder halfheartedly and just like that everything goes back to the way it was before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There ya go! This was my first time writing smut (kinda) so sorry if it's shit. If you like it please leave comments and kudos they make me really happy :)


	3. III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! So sorry this update took so long I've been super busy with school. I hope you like it I worked hard on it.

“Lou, why do you always get stuck with the late shifts?” Harry asks from his perch on the counter where he’s helping Louis count the money in the register.

Louis shrugs, “Don’t really get stuck with them, I ask for them.”

Harry raises his eyebrows in confusion, “But doesn’t it get boring, barely anyone ever comes in so late.”

“I like the time to myself, it gives me time to think, and to sketch,” he answers pointing to his sketchbook lying abandoned on the counter.

Harry’s eyes widen and he hops off the counter, “Oh, have I been interrupting your alone time? I’m so sorry Lou, you should have told me to get lost or something, I wouldn’t have minded,” he says sincerely, looking up at him with earnest eyes.

Louis smiles softly, “No, I like having you here,” he says softly.

“You sure?” Harry asks, eyebrows raised.

“I’m surer than sure.”

“Can I see your drawings then?” Harry asks biting his bottom lip slightly.

“Course, they’re a bit shit to be honest though,” Louis says and hands him the sketchbook before going back to counting the money.

After several minutes of silence Louis hears the slap of a book landing onto the counter and looks up to find Harry looking at him, mouth gaping.

“These are amazing Lou, far from shit you self-deprecating idiot, they’re stunning, absolutely beautiful, there’s not enough words to describe how amazing they are,” he says smiling widely and Louis blushes. He knows people like his stupid sketches, he’s had loads of people tell him that, but Harry’s compliments are different. The way his eyes shine genuinely and how he looks truly awed. Louis can tell it’s not just him trying to be polite. He can tell he’s being completely honest and it warms him right down to his toes.

He looks up at him shyly to see the awed smile still stretched wide across his face and suddenly he has the urge to kiss him.

His lips are bitten red and it’s extremely hard to resist when he already knows what those lips feel like against his, how he tastes against his tongue.

He doesn’t think, just grabs Harry’s stupidly ridiculous floral shirt without warning and crashes their lips together.

Harry gasps in surprise against him but relaxes into the kiss a second later.

Louis tangles his hand in the other boy’s curls and tugs slightly, Harry whimpers softly against his lips and Louis uses the opportunity to lick into his mouth. He maneuvers them to the wall and presses Harry against it.

As Harry’s back hits the wall he gasps again and pushes Louis away from him with wide eyes.

“Wait no you-“ he takes a deep breath, “- I thought you said that last time was a mistake?”

He’s still close enough that his breath ghosts across Louis’ lips and goddammit he can’t think straight with those lips still so close to his.

“Fuck what I said before,” he gets out in a rush, saying the first thing he thinks of that will get Harry’s lips back on his.

Harry stares down at him, confused “Erm what are you saying exactly?”

Louis looks up at him and takes in his dark kissed lips and mussed up hair. God he did that and Harry is still so close that it’s fucking up Louis’ ability to think rationally. So he does probably the most idiotic thing he could ever do. He rises to his toes and hovers his lips over the other boy’s plump ones.

“I'm saying whatever the fuck you want, whatever will get you to kiss me again,” he whispers against Harry’s lips and he sees how Harry’s breath hitches in his throat.

“Lou...”

Louis stares at him, waiting for a response and is about to back away in disappointment when Harry makes a strangled sound in the back of his throat and lunges forward, crashing their lips together and sliding a hand under his jumper.

“Okay” he murmurs into Louis lips, “Yeah, okay.”

Louis grins against Harry’s lips before pulling away and smirking when Harry whines and tries to pull him back. He raises his eyebrows once before dropping to his knees in front of the other boy.

Harry looks down at him wide eyed and Louis can’t help but lick his lips suggestively and stare back up at him through his eyelashes. They way Harry is looking down at him with so much longing is making him feel unbelievable sexy.

They stare at each other for a long while until Harry closes his eyes and makes a soft noise “Please fucking _do_ something,” he pleads, eyes still closed.

Louis grins and winks up at him before unbuttoning his extremely tight jeans and trying to pull them down his thighs.

“Bloody hell Haz how the fuck do you even get these on?” he asks after struggling to just get them down to his knees.

“Lots of practice,” Harry replies, voice an octave lower than usual. The sound goes straight to Louis’ cock and he has to palm himself through his trousers to stop himself from moaning out loud.

“I guess I’ll just have to get some practice then won't I?” Louis says looking up at him suggestively and pulling the jeans all they way down with a sharp tug.

Harry sucks in a gasp and Louis takes the opportunity to pull down his boxer briefs in one fluid motion and press a soft kiss to the head of his cock.

Harry throws his head back against the wall and it’s the prettiest thing Louis has ever seen. He sucks the tip into his mouth and revels in the moan Harry lets out before slowly bobbing his head up and down, going farther down his cock each time and pumping his hand over the parts he can’t get to.

Harry’s hands take purchase in his hair and Louis hums against his cock happily. Harry moans in response and Louis takes him deeper until his nose is touching his stomach.

He looks up at Harry through his eyelashes and moans around his cock as he sees how wrecked Harry looks above him, his mouth open wide and eyelashes fluttering against his cheekbones.

“So good Lou” he murmurs softly And Louis smiles around his cock.

He looks up at him devishily before taking a deep breath through his nose and pressing his tongue against the vein on the underside of his cock.

This time Harry lets out a loud moan and Louis has to stop himself from smiling in satisfaction.

“Fuck Lou” he cries out and Louis does it again.

“'m close” he says tugging softly on Louis’ hair. Louis hums and swallows around his cock and Harry lets out a strangled cry as he shoots into Louis’ mouth.

Louis swallows it all before pulling off and standing up on shaky legs, kissing Harry softly as he comes down.

Harry opens his eyes a moment later and grins lazily as he looks down at him. His eyes widen as they land on the bulge in his trousers.

“Oh, lemme take care of that” he breaths, moving his hand to Louis’ trousers and pulling out his already embarrassingly hard cock out.

He blushes and averts his eyes in embarrassment, but Harry smiles comfortingly.

“Did you get off from making me feel good?” He asks with dark eyes and a gruff voice.

“Yeah,” Louis squeaks out.

Harry closes his eyes  “you are so hot you know that?” he groans before fisting Louis’s cock and kissing him.

Louis gasps comes into his hand merely two strokes later, having already been on edge for so long  and breathes shakily against his throat as he come down from the high.

He pulls away from Harry’ warm body with a giggle.

“Well that was sufficiently embarrassing, I lasted all of ten minutes,” Harry groans pulling Louis back to his chest.

“You’re embarrassed? I lasted like two seconds,” Louis replies indignantly.

“My hand can do wonders” Harry grins wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“So can my mouth,” Harry doesn’t reply just nods his head in solemn agreement

Louis snorts.

“We’re a mess aren’t we?”

Harry laughs as well as Louis finds a roll of paper towels and cleans them both off before re-buttoning his trousers and watching as Harry shimmies his jeans back up over his thighs.

Louis grins up at him “Don’t ever mention this to Tom he may actually kill me for giving someone a blowjob in his precious store.”

Harry laughs his loud cackling laugh that makes his eyes sparkle and causes him to slap his hand over his mouth to try to stifle it and Louis can’t even try to contain the fond smile that makes its way onto his face.

Later, after Harry has left Louis finds himself drawing flower crowns and bright green eyes in his sketchbook while humming Disney songs under his breath.

It doesn’t mean anything.

***

Louis is watching crap telly and eating an entire tub of ice cream by himself like the pathetic thing he is when there’s a knock on the door.

He groans as he switches the TV to mute and pads his way to the door swinging it open glaring at the person on the other side.

His gaze softens as he sees Harry standing in the doorway, curls silhouetted by the evening light and eyes soft.

“Um hi,” Louis says, suddenly feeling extremely conscious of his ratty t-shirt and trackies that probably haven’t been washed in ages.

“Am I interrupting anything?” Harry asks, always polite. Louis really wants to cut him open and see how such a perfect human being can exist.

“No, no come in,” he replies, stepping out of the doorway, “What brings you here?”

Harry shrugs his shoulders sheepishly, “Um, I’ve just been home alone all day and I kind of need some human contact before I die of boredom.”

“Oh,” Louis raises his eyebrows “Do you want to go do something then?” he asks, ignoring the warmth that pools in his chest at the implication that he’s Harry’s first pick for companionship.

Harry plops down on the sofa next to Louis’ tub of ice cream and looks up at him with lazy eyes “I’d much rather just join you and that ice cream if you don’t mind.”

Louis frown in confusion, “But you said you were bored, watching crap telly and eating ice cream isn’t exactly the most exciting activity.”

Harry looks up at him with a smirk, “Lou, just because something isn’t necessarily exciting doesn’t mean it’s boring. I’m never bored when I’m with you, whether we’re singing Disney songs on top of the counter or just sitting and being together. It’s enjoyable either way.”

Louis sits down next to him unsure what to say to that. Harry is always so sincere and kind. Louis never knows what to say when he says stuff like that.

After sitting in silence for a few awkward moments Louis turns to Harry with a small strained smile.

“We could watch the Notebook, I know I promised I’d watch it with you.”

“Oh yeah!” Harry says clapping his hands excitedly, eyes lighting up like a child’s on Christmas morning. Louis feels his smile grow into a genuine one as he points to his laptop on the coffee table.

“Find it on Netflix, I’ll go get us some more snacks, this tub of ice cream is almost finished.”

When Louis returns to the room with a bag of chips and popcorn Harry is grinning widely at the computer screen.

He goes and sits down next to him and feels his heart drop as he sees what’s on the screen.

Pictures from his sixteenth birthday party, surrounded by his mates and high on life grinning into the camera without a care in the world.

Louis gulps. He wishes he was still that boy. Wishes he was still the boy who felt like he could rule the world, like nothing could get in his way.

“W-Why are you looking at those?”

Harry’s smile falls a bit as he takes in Louis’ face.

“Oh, um they were already up on the screen when I opened the laptop.” He explains, gaze flicking from the screen to Louis’ face in worry, “Was I not supposed to see these?”

“No uh, just that was a long time ago. It brings back some memories.”

“Good memories or bad,” Harry asks softly. 

“Both,” Louis whispers sadly.

“You look so happy here Lou, how can there be anything bad about it?” Harry asks gently, always gently, like Louis’ a scared animal who will get spooked away if he talks too loud. He doesn’t like it, doesn’t like that Harry sees him as something fragile. He hates that he feels fragile.

“Yeah, that’s because I _was_ happy. So happy. I was one of those people who was always laughing, always joking. I always felt like nothing could hurt me, like I was invincible. I wasn’t scared of anything. God I wish I was still like that.”

Harry looks up at him, “Still like what?”

“Still innocent.”

Harry sighs sadly and gathers Louis up in his arms. Louis doesn’t realize what he’s doing until Harry has laid him in his lap and starts stroking his hair softly.

“If it makes you feel any better, everyone loses their innocence sooner or later.”

Louis chuckled bitterly “Yeah, no that doesn’t help.”

Harry stays silent for a while before he takes a deep breath.

“Okay, listen yeah? You’ve learnt that people can hurt you, that you aren’t invincible and shit. But guess what? That’s life.” His tone is light and he looks down at Louis with soft eyes, “You know what I look for when I meet a person?”

“What?”

“I see if they take risks? If they let people in even though they know that they could potentially hurt them. Because taking the risk knowing full well what could happen if it backfires makes you that much stronger than if you don’t know that you can be hurt.”

“But I don’t understand, that has nothing to do with me.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. You might not realize it, but you’ve let so many people in who could’ve hurt you. Zayn, Liam, Tom, Eleanor, Me. I know that someone hurt you, I don’t know who, but if I ever find out I’m going to give them a nice punch in the face. But that’s beside the point. I know you’ve been hurt. But you let people in anyway. You could have easily cut yourself off from people to make sure you’d never be hurt again but you didn’t, and I think that’s the bravest thing someone can do.”

“You think much too highly of me Harry Styles,” Louis murmurs into Harry’s neck with a sigh, too tired to argue with him.

***  
_You awake?_

Louis rolls out of his bed, grateful for something to distract him from his tossing and turning, and grabs his phone off the bedside table to read the text. He feels himself smile as he reads the message from Harry. It’s ridiculous, its only two simple words, not even something funny, just two simple words, yet Louis can’t contain the blinding smile that makes its way onto his face.

_Why are you awake? It’s three in the morning!_

_Why are you?_

_Couldn’t sleep._

_Same._

There’s a pause long enough that Louis thinks Harry might have fallen asleep but then his screen lights up with another text.

_I’m coming over, wear something warm, we’re going on an adventure._

Louis eyebrows shoot up in surprise.

_Harry it’s half three in the morning, we can’t go on an adventure just because you bloody feel like it. It’s the middle of the night! People are sleeping!_

Despite his rejection to the idea Louis gets out of bed and pulls on warm sweats and a wool jumper while muttering under his breath about stupid curly haired boys with fucking senseless ideas. When he grabs his phone off the bed there’s another text on the screen.

_Oh but that’s where you’re wrong Lou. I **can** go on an adventure just because I want to. Who’s going to stop me? You need to stop questioning the consequences of everything and just do what you want to when you want to. It’s like I said before, stop overthinking._

Louis doesn’t reply just picks up his phone and puts it in his pocket.

A few minutes later there is a soft knock on Louis’ door and Louis jumps up from where he’d been waiting in the kitchen much to eagerly than he means to.

He takes a deep breath and tries not to let the excitement show on his face as he opens the door for Harry.

His eyes glow bright green in the dark of the hall and he’s got a giddy energy surrounding him. It’s contagious and Louis can’t help the excited smile that makes its way onto his face.

“So where are we going?”

Harry grins “I don’t know yet, but we have to make a quick stop first.”

Louis rolls his eyes at Harry’s lack of planning and follows him out of the building and to his black pickup truck.

After a few minutes of driving in complete silence they pull up in front of a Tescos and Louis scoffs.

“Our adventure is going to Tesco?” He asks disbelievingly

“It’s part of it” Harry says ambiguously and Louis groans in frustration.

“Why won’t you tell me where we’re going?”

“I told you, I don’t know yet.”

Louis sighs as he follows Harry into the store, he doesn’t know why he humors Harry at all. He has the absolute worst ideas.

“Well when will you know?”

“Not until we get there,” Harry says with a smug smile, picking up a bag of dried fruit and turning to put it in their trolley.

“Hell no,” Louis argues, pulling the bag out of his hands and throwing it back onto the shelf. “If you get to decide where we’re going I get to decide snacks,” he puts his hands on his hips imperiously and looks up at Harry.

Harry raises his hands in surrender, "Fine, but at least get one healthy thing.”

Louis is already on his way to the crisps aisle and he winks over his shoulder at Harry, “We’ll see Styles.”

He sees Harry shake his head with a smile before he follows Louis into the next aisle.

***

“I can’t look at this, it’s shameful,” Harry says grimacing down at their trolley full of crisps, soda, and all types of sweets. “It’s a disgrace,” he continues, pushing the trolley while turning his head so he doesn’t have to look at it.

Louis chuckles and picks up a banana to add to the other things just so Harry stops looking at the trolley like it’s killed his entire family or something.

They return to the truck and Louis tries to get Harry to reveal where they’re going but he won’t budge. He just bites his lip, holding back a smile, and stays silent.

Once they make it to a stoplight Harry turns to Louis, “Left or right?” he asks one hand resting softly on the wheel, the other on Louis’ thigh.

Louis looks up at him, completely baffled, “What the fuck do you mean?” he bursts out throwing his hands up in frustration.

“Tell me which way to go, and I’ll keep turning in the direction till we hit a dead end.”

“That’s a bloody stupid idea,” Louis says, his eyes wide. “What if we get lost?”                                                                                                            

“That’s the beauty of it, since we’re turning in the same direction each time it’ll be impossible to get lost. Plus it’s so much more exciting when you don’t know what’s coming, don’t you think?” he smiles at Louis with that glint in his eye that tells him Harry already knows he’s won.

Louis crosses his arms indignantly, “Left,” he mutters, biting his lip and making a frustrated noise in the back of his throat.

It’s all and act though, on the inside he’s actually ridiculously endeared by Harry and his ideas. He’s in awe of the way he isn’t scared to do something just because he feels like it. Of how he’s not scared of the unknown. It makes Louis feel a little invincible too.

Harry’s grin lights up his face as he turns left.

After a few moments of silence Harry turns on the radio, winks at Louis, and starts singing along to the song coming through the speakers. He sings purposely off-key just to make Louis laugh and to his suprise Louis actually finds himself chuckling and joining him when he starts the chorus.

Their voices blend together perfectly even though they’re both singing horribly loud and off key, Louis’ high voice and Harry’s low rasp twining together with their laughs is probably the most beautiful sound Louis has ever heard.

After a while the road ends in a dead end in front of an abandoned playground.

Harry’s eyes light up as they land on the playground and the two of them stumble out of the truck and race each other to the swing set in the corner.

It’s a little rickety and at first Louis is a little hesitant to get on the swing but Harry smiles reassuringly at him and once he’s on it Harry pulls him back as far as he can before letting him go and Louis laughs loud and unabashed into the quiet night as the wind whips around him.

He feels like he’s flying, like he’s completely weightless. Like he’s finally able to fly again after being weighed down by the weight of the world for so long.

As he rushes back towards the ground he giggles and looks up at Harry’s eyes, sparkling down at him and realizes Harry did this. Harry lifted the weight off his shoulders.

He blurts it out without thinking, “Thank you Harry.”

“For what?” Harry questions sitting down on the swing next to Louis’

“For being you.”

They don’t say much after that, just sway together in the moonlight. It’s nice. Louis hasn’t found someone he can just be with in a long time. He likes that they don’t have to speak when they’re together, that he doesn’t have the pressure of having to keep a conversation going. He likes just sitting with him and basking in the warmth that Harry carries around him wherever he goes.

They bring out the snacks they bought and sit down in the grass next to the playground to watch the sun rise over the horizon and Louis memorizes the way Harry looks next to him, all soft limbs and shining eyes. He memorizes the free feeling in his chest and hopes that it never ends.

Harry is reckless, he’s sweet, he’s beautiful, he’s freedom, and most of all he’s exactly what Louis needs.

***

Harry is late bringing Louis his scone the next day during his afternoon shift like he always does and Louis can’t stop worrying.

He texts him periodically throughout his shift, each text getting significantly more panicked.

Harry still hasn’t replied when Louis’ shift has ended and he’s grabbing his stuff to leave with a sinking feeling in his chest, maybe he's being clingy expecting Harry to show up with scones everyday, maybe Harry's gotten tired of him.

He’s just picked up his sketchbook when Harry bursts into the store a scone held up above his head and a flower crown perched in his curls.

“Sorry I’m so late,” he says, handing the scone to Louis with sparkling eyes.

“What’s got you so excited?” he asks as relief fills his chest.

“This little girl was at the shop today and she asked about my crown,” he explains with a giddy laugh, “and I got the amazing idea to sell flower crowns. I spent all morning making them and I just realized I completely missed your afternoon shift and the scone thing we always do.”

Louis grins, the conformation that Harry sees the scone thing as a daily thing as well sending a rush of happiness to his chest.

“That’s a great idea.”

“Thank you, I need your help though. I still need to make a bunch more crowns before we open up again after lunch hour.”

Louis nods and follows Harry out the door even though he has absolutely no idea how to make a flower crown.

As they make it into the shop Louis finds Niall sitting on the floor surrounded by flowers and looking terribly confused.

Louis snorts softly as he tries not to laugh at the sight.

When Niall sees Louis and Harry come in he lets out a relieved sigh and gets up from the floor.

“Oh, thank god you’re back Harry, these flowers hate me,” he exclaims brushing flowers off of his jumper where they’ve stuck to him and grimacing when they won’t fall off.

Harry laughs and helps him brush them off with careful hands.

“You can go Ni, I’ve got Louis to help me now,” he says and Niall cheers happily, smacking a kiss on to Harry’s cheek and hugging Louis muttering a "good luck Lou, those flowers are evil" before racing out of the shop, throwing a "have fun love birds" over his shoulder which causes Louis to flush bright red.

Harry doesn't react, instead grabbing a bunch of daisies and turns to Louis.

“Okay, let me teach you how to do this.”

He hands Louis a wire and some greenery and quickly shows him how to add a layer of greenery to the crown before starting with the flowers. He then starts to expertly add the daisies to the wire.

Louis watches in awe as Harry’s large hands gracefully flit around the crown and carefully handle the flowers. His hands are so huge compared to the flowers and Louis keeps thinking he’s going to squish them or something but he’s so careful, like a soft giant.

When Harry finishes he holds the crown up with pride and looks to Louis

“Got it?”

Louis’ eyes widen as he realizes he hadn’t been paying attention, too busy staring at Harry’s hands.

“Erm, yes?” he says questioningly, but Harry doesn’t notice the hesitance in his voice. He just sets a bunch of wire and flowers in front of Louis before smiling and gathering his own materials.

“Thanks Lou,” he picks up the flower crown and looks at Louis, head tilted in thought for a moment before softly putting it onto Louis’ head.

He steps back to admire his work and Louis is about to glare at him and whine about getting flower petals in his hair when he see Harry’s eyes soften as he looks down at him. His smile is soft and Louis doesn’t think anyone has ever looked at him that way before.

He blushes and ducks his head under the gaze and goes about trying to make a flower crown.

When Harry has made five crowns and Louis is still frustratingly on his first Harry looks over at him and giggles.

“You look like an angry pixie.”

Louis glares at him and crosses his arms, “I do not.”

“Do too,” Harry replies before sliding over next to him on the floor and gently taking his hands in his bigger ones. He delicately guides Louis’ hands as he helps him create a crown and Louis just stares down at their hands in wonder.

“I feel like a Disney character,” Louis says softly once they’ve finished and Harry’s hands have moved from his. He can still feel the tingling from Harry’s warm skin.

“That’s a good thing, Disney is always happy and magical, do you feel happy and magical Lou?” Harry asks with grin.

“Disney characters are only always happy because they’re not real. They aren’t realistic,” Louis replies bitterly and Harry looks down at him confused.

“Of course they’re not real, but like, they illuminate the good parts of life to make people feel happy.”

“Yeah well they over do it,” Louis argues “Like, for example, love. I've yet to have seen a real life couple act like one from Disney.”

Harry tries to interrupt him but Louis holds up a hand.

“No let me finish. Disney shows these extravagant love stories that would never happen in real life. Like, I’ve experienced real life love Harry. It’s not some wonderful amazing thing that’s full of happiness and rainbows like Disney makes it out to be. Real love is fucked up, and it always ends up hurting people. Why isn’t that ever shown in the films? That’s why I hate Disney, it made me believe love was some fairytale thing and I was just disappointed.”

“But it is,” Harry says fervently, “love _is_ a fairytale thing. Whatever you say you’ve witnessed can’t be love if it’s made you look at love in such a fucked up way.”

Louis sighs in frustration, Harry doesn’t get it. He doesn’t get it because he hasn’t seen how love has fucked up everything Louis has ever known. He hasn’t seen how love destroys people from the inside, how love destroyed him. How it felt to see someone who he’d given his entire being away to, go and take everything Louis had given him and fucking crush it without a second thought. He doesn’t understand that he’s still fucking broken inside because of love. He doesn’t understand that love hurts, that it hurts worse than anything else in the entire world.

“Okay, look, I’ve been in relationships that have went to shit, I’ve seen my mum’s marriage fall apart twice. I think it’s safe for me to say that fairytale love doesn’t exist.” He says with a tremor to his voice.

Harry sighs sadly and runs a hand through his hair, skewing the flower crown.

“You just haven’t seen the right type of love Lou.”

Louis shakes his head.

“You’re innocent Harry, you haven’t seen what love can do,” he argues petulantly.

He sees a flash of anger in Harry’s eyes at that and he stands up suddenly.

“I have fucking seen what love can do Louis. I have. My parents had a _terrible_ divorce. My mum was devastated for ages. I know what love can do. I bloody know. But I have to hold on to the hope that not all love is like that. I know love can hurt. I know that, but I choose to believe in this fairytale thing because isn’t that better than the alternative?”

Louis sighs but he doesn’t say anything. He can see the sadness in Harry’s eyes and so he just pulls him down next to him and holds him close.

“I’m sorry I snapped at you, I just want you to be happy.” Harry mutters into Louis’ neck and Louis sighs in response, why does everyone fucking think he’s not happy? “My mum’s remarried. She met my amazing stepdad and she found a fairytale romance. So I know it’s possible. I just really wish you’d see that. You just haven’t met the right person yet.”

Louis doesn’t answer.

***

Louis is at Wildfire sitting cross-legged on one of the chairs, engrossed in his sketchbook when he hears the bell on the door ring.

“Hi, what can I do-“ he cuts himself off as he looks up and sees Harry walking into the shop, “Oh hi,” he says, quirking a questioning eyebrow, “What are you doing here? I thought we already did scones today.”

Harry grins “I want a tattoo,” he says with gleaming eyes, “And I want you to do it.”

Louis’ eyes widen and he gets up from his spot. “Are you sure?”

Harry rolls his eyes, “Of course I’m sure,” he’s thrumming with energy and enthusiasm and Louis can’t help but be affected by his happiness.

He lets a grin take over his face and looks up at the green eyed boy, “Got anything particular in mind?”

Harry places his hands on Louis’ hips under his t-shirt and Louis has to resist the urge to shiver under his warm touch. The soft touches have become a regular thing since he and Harry have started hooking up on the regular and yet Louis can still only barely suppress the urge to turn pliant under Harry’s fingers and his warmth.

It’s a problem.

“Well,” he says, looking Louis dead in the eyes and smiling, “I noticed that you’ve been sketching flowers a lot recently so I was thinking maybe you could do a flower?” His voice trails off at the end as if he’s embarrassed by the request but his eyes don’t leave Louis’.

Louis take a deep breath and nods, “um, yeah erm,” he clears his throat, stepping back from Harry’s grasp the enthusiasm trickling out of his veins, “I can do that I guess. What kind of flower?”

Harry doesn’t hesitate, although his cheeks do color slightly, “A rose,” he points to the empty skin near his left elbow, “Right there.”

“Okay,” Louis replies gulping and trying to stop his hands from shaking as he pushes his flopping quiff away from his forehead. This isn’t like when his designs have been tattooed onto strangers he’ll never see again. If he fucks it up he’s going to have to see it every day and he can’t under any circumstances, disappoint Harry. That’s not an option, he’d rather snap his neck. He knows Harry would never be unkind about it, but he also knows that he’d beat himself up over it for ages if he fucked this up for Harry. It has to be perfect.

“Yay!” Harry claps his hands together delightedly and pulls Louis to his chest in a warm hug.

“Ill sketch you a design. Come back tomorrow during my late shift, no one is ever here around then, I’ll do it then” Louis says with considerably less eagerness as he tries to suppress the urge to freak out.

It’s just a tattoo, he can do this.

***

Okay, so Louis cannot do this.

He stares dismally at the failed attempts at the rose on the tattoo paper in front of him and lets his head drop to the counter with a thump that should probably hurt a lot more than it does, but he’s too preoccupied with the failed drawings and the soon to be disappointed look on Harry’s face to notice the pain.

He looks up when he hears Harry walk into the shop and is about to open his mouth to make up some fucking useless excuse as to why he doesn’t have an adequate sketch, but before Louis can say anything Harry is grabbing the paper and pointing to a drawing with glittery eyes.

“This one,” he says with a sureness to his voice that Louis doesn’t understand, the sketch is shit.

“What no, that’s shit, they’re all shit. I’m sorry Haz I just couldn’t do it.” He protests with a heaving sigh.

Harry doesn’t answer his question, “This is your first attempt right?”

“Wha- how did you know?”

“You always start in the top right corner of a page,” Harry says with colored cheeks and Louis look up in confusion. He didn’t realize Harry paid so much attention when he watched him sketch.

“Yeah okay so it’s the first attempt that makes it that much worse than the others. I refuse to tattoo that piece of shit onto your body forever,” Louis crosses his arms and leans back in his chair defiantly.

“It’s not shit. I want to get this one. Okay Lou? It’s my body, my choice, if you don’t do it I’ll get someone else to, which would suck by the way because I really wanted you to do this for me,” Harry says looking at him with a pout. His eye give him away though, Louis can tell by the sparkle in them that he knows he’s already won.

 Louis glares at him. When did Harry Styles learn how to push his buttons? More importantly when did Harry Styles learn that disappointing him was Louis’ biggest weakness?

Louis heaves himself off the chair with a sigh and goes about disinfecting Harry’s arm.

After the tattoo is done Harry can’t stop gushing over it as Louis wraps it up in a bandage.

“I love it Lou,” he says.

“It’s gorgeous” he says.

“It’s my favorite tattoo so far,” he says and Louis can’t stand it. Why the fuck does Harry love something so blatantly shitty so much that his eyes are sparkling with happiness? Why the fuck is it special because Louis did it for him? He needs answers before he fucking explodes or else he’s not going to be able to look at Harry’s arm ever again without getting heart palpitations.

“Harry,” he says softly, “Why did you get this tattoo? And why was it so important that I did it?”

Harry looks up from where he’d been admiring his arm and his eyes widen.

“I thought you knew?”

“No I don’t bloody know, that’s why I’m asking,” Louis exclaims in frustration.

Harry’s eyes soften as they search Louis’ before he smiles slightly and takes Louis’ hand. I wanted you to do it because it’s for you.

Louis’ eyes widen.

_What?_

“What?”

Harry chuckles and starts playing with Louis’ fingers. Louis looks down, surprised, he’d forgotten Harry was even holding his hand.

“You’re very important to me Lou, and no matter what happens, if this friendship or whatever the fuck it is we have lasts or not, I want to remember you forever.”

Louis is speechless, he literally has no idea what to say to that. So he just stares at Harry in shock.

Harry takes that to mean he still doesn’t understand.

“Okay, yeah I guess that’s not enough of an explanation,” He looks down at the tattoo with a smile “Well roses in general symbolize passion and beauty and you are the personification of those words to be quite frank. Also, I wanted your first sketch because that was the first thing you drew when you thought of me. So like, the tattoo is kind of a reminder of what I think of you and at the same time what you think of me.”

Louis still doesn’t say anything because he knows Harry’s leaving something out. The most obvious thing. Everyone in the fucking world knows that roses symbolize love. Harry’s a bloody florist he _knows_ that.

All Louis can manage to choke out is “Roses,” and “love.”

Harry’s cheeks flush for a second at that before ducking his head “Erm, yeah and that. It also means I love you.” He looks up at Louis shyly and Louis can feel himself starting to panic.

Surely not that kind of love? Surely not _love_ , love? Surely not the I want to be with you love? Not after Louis has told him everything he hates about love. No of course not that kind of love, he and Harry are just friends nothing more. Harry would never think of him that way. This is just platonic love. People get friendship tattoos, it happens all the time, Louis knows that, he's done a fair share of them on others. There's no reason to panic. None. 

He still has to gulp around the lump in his throat as he smiles as best as he can up at Harry.

“You’re the best mate I’ve ever had,” he replies and for some reason that statement makes Harry’s eyes harden but he smiles back so Louis doesn’t mention it.

***

“Louis?” Harry asks from the floor where he’d been reading a book as Louis sleepily ran his hands through his curls.

“Hmm?” he asks lazily lifting his head from where it’s leaned against the couch and looking down at Harry

“I want to go somewhere.”

“Where?” Louis asks softly freeing a curl that has stuck its self to the side of Harry’s face.

“I dunno, anywhere.”

Louis groans and throws his head back against the couch.

“Not again Harry.”

Nonetheless ten minutes later they end up outside next to Louis’ bike, helmets in hand.

Louis climbs onto the bike first and Harry stares at him a moment before grinning wide

“You look hot on that.”

Louis’ cheeks flush and he glares at Harry.

“Shut the fuck up an get on the bike.”

Harry giggles before he gracelessly throws his too long leg over the seat of the bike and wraps his arms around Louis. His chest is warm against Louis’ back and he has to fight the urge to lean back into the solid weight with a sigh.

“So how are we doing this?” he asks, looking over his shoulder at Harry.

“Baby drive slow, till we run out of road,” he says softly into his ear.

Louis stares back at him incredulously before he breaks into snickers. Harry Styles is an idiot.

“Did you really just quote Taylor Swift?”

Harry raises a challenging brow “So what if I did?”

Louis just shakes his head and turns back around to hide the fond smile he knows is spread across his face.

“Can we go back to the playground?” Harry asks quietly from behind him after a few moments.

“Yeah.”

As soon as they slow to a stop in front of the playground and they’ve both taken their helmets off Harry is pushing Louis up against the seat of the bike and kissing him roughly.

Louis eyes widen in surprise before he melts into the kiss, sparks flying on the edge of his vision.

When Harry pulls away for breath Louis looks up into his eyes and feels a sudden pang of arousal as he sees Harry’s blown out pupils looking down at him hungrily.

“Um,” is all he gets out and Harry chuckles lowly.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said you looked hot on the bike,” Louis’ eyes widen and he blinks up at Harry owlishly, “I had to think of dead puppies the whole ride here to make sure I didn’t get hard against your back.”

"I wouldn't have minded," Louis giggles softly and hops back onto the seat of the bike. He wraps his legs around Harry’s waist, pulling him towards him and Harry almost tumbles to the ground before catching himself on Louis shoulders with a breathless giggle.

“That was sexier in my head,” Louis says into Harry’s neck, smiling against the vibrations in his throat when he laughs softly.

He starts kissing up the milky skin of Harry’s neck and slowly snakes his cold hands under Harry’s v neck onto the warm skin of his chest.

Harry hums in Louis’ ear and runs his hands through his hair making Louis’ eyelashes flutter against Harry’s neck.

“So pretty,” he murmurs and brings their lips together in a heated kiss.

“Harry we cant-“ Louis gets out in between kisses, gaining some control over himself and realizing they're fucking outside (pun intended) where anyone could see them. “We’re outside, in front of a _playground_ for fucks sake.”

Harry looks at him with slightly pouted lips “C’mon Lou it’s abandoned there’s literally nobody here. Plus the potential of being caught is half the fun,” He wiggles his eyebrows, looking him up and down, eyes landing on his crotch. “I know you want it” he smirks and Louis glares up at him.

“So you're an exhibitinist?” he asks, smirking, while crossing his legs pointedly.

Harry just laughs and kisses him again, nudging his legs open slowly. After a moment Louis relaxes his legs and lets them fall open. Harry breaks the kiss, moving into the v of his legs with a grin and brings his hands to the zipper of Louis’ trousers. He looks up to his face seriously.

“If you really don’t want to do this just tell me I’ll stop, I don’t want to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he searches Louis eyes and Louis sees the genuine concern in them.

Louis looks back into Harry’s eyes unblinking. He can feel the white hot warmth of arousal pooling in his belly. He sighs in content before tipping their foreheads together.

“Don’t you dare stop,” He whispers lowly, pushing Harry’s hands towards his crotch in an attempt to get him to hurry the fuck up.

Harry chuckles to himself before dropping to his knees and opening the fly to Louis’ trousers. He pulls out Louis’ cock and jerks him into full hardness before fluttering his eyelashes and kissing the tip softly. 

Louis closes his eyes and leans heavily on the handles of the bike, trying to control his breathing and the urge to trust himself down Harry’s throat.

Once Harry finally gets his mouth around Louis he throws his head back against the bike and yelps in pain as it hits the handle bars with a thump.

Harry pulls off with a pop and looks up at Louis through his eyelashes, eyes lit up with amusement “Alright?” his lips are spit slick and Louis can't look anywhere else.

“Hmm, er yeah. Sorry that was embarrassing,” he laughs dazedly.

Harry looks up at him and Louis can see he’s trying to hold in laugh.

“Shut up and suck my cock Harold,” Louis orders around another giggle.

“With pleasure,” Harry laughs ducking down again, “As long as you promise not to hurt yourself again.”

Louis harrumphs and pushes Harry's face into his neglected dick.

“Sod off, you try being sucked off on a motorbike.”

Harry just laughs again before enveloping Louis in the warm heat of his mouth. He brings his hand up to get to the parts he can’t reach with his mouth and Louis lets out a long groan, tangling his hand into Harry’s soft hair.

He lets himself slump against the bike, careful not to hit anything this time and looks down at Harry kneeled between his legs.

He looks gorgeous like this, his fringe falling in his eyes as he works his mouth around Louis’ cock, his cheeks flushed and lips bright red, just looking at him makes Louis close to coming.

He takes a deep breath just as Harry swipes his tongue along the vein on the underside of his dick and he lets out a long whimper from the back of his throat, letting his eyes flutter shut and focus solely on Harry’s mouth on his cock.

Harry’s cold hand comes up to softly run along the inside of his thighs and Louis shivers at the barely there touch.

He opens his eyes slightly and pushes Harry’s fringe out of his eyes, tugging sharply on it, Harry looks up at Louis through his eyelashes and moan’s load around Louis’ cock at that and Louis groans, shooting into Harry’s mouth without warning at the sight of his huge eyes all wrecked and lust blown.

Harry swallows it all with a satisfied hum before pulling off and smiling up at Louis languidly.

Louis pulls him up to a standing position, tugging him flush against his body and kisses him hard. He can taste himself of Harry’s tongue and it makes jolt of arousal spread through his body. He’s distracted though, when Harry starts rutting his rock hard cock against Louis’ thigh and whining into his mouth, because oh, Louis should probably take care of that.

“You like when I pull your hair?” he murmurs into Harry’s panting mouth while running his hand down the other boys chest and undoing the zip on his jeans before pulling his leaking cock out.

Harry groans against him and drops his head into the juncture between Louis’ neck and shoulder when Louis gets his hand on him.

He wraps his small hand around Harry’s dick and catches the spurts of precome dribbling out in his hand to make the slide easier before starting to properly jerk him off, twisting on the upstroke.

After a couple of strokes he brings his lips to Harry’s ear.

“You like it rough hmm?” he whispers dirtily, lips brushing his earlobe. Harry shudders against him and Louis smirks against his ear in triumph “Like when I take control of you baby?”

“Fuck, Lou, I – yes” Harry grunts hotly into his neck, shaking against his body, nails digging into his bicep. 

"An exhibitionist with a pain kink, interesting," Louis tuts.

It’s quiet except for Harry’s shallow pants against Louis’ neck and the soft creak of the abandoned swings as the wind sways them forward.

“Lou," Harry pants into his neck and Louis responds by thumbing over Harry’s slit on his next upstroke, simultaneously pulling his hair with his other hand. Harry shudders before coming into his hand with a long groan, biting into the skin of Louis’ neck as he shakes through his orgasm. Louis smiles and kisses his cheek and neck while he waits for him to come down.

When Harry finally picks his head up and looks up at him Louis can’t help but smirk at how wrecked he looks. His eyes are unfocused and drooping, cheeks flushed bright pink, and lips swollen and red. All just from a hand job and some dirty talk. Although he supposes he probably looks just as wrecked as Harry, can feel the slowness of his own movements and the content fuzzy feeling that only ever surfaces after a good orgasm washing over him.

“That’ll definitely leave a mark,” he says with a laugh bringing up his hand and sucking the come off his fingers with a smile and Harry’s eyes widen in awe as he thumbs over the bite marks he left on the older boy’s neck.

“You taste good,” Louis says conversationally and leans into the press of Harry’s thumbs over the love bites he left on his neck.

Harry nods seriously, “I eat lots of fruit.”

Louis rolls his eyes and groans slumping against Harry’s chest which stutters against his head as he giggles into Louis’ hair.

“Of course you do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go. Don't forget to give kudos and comments if you liked it. They make me smile :) Hopefully chapter four won't take as long.


	4. IV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long! Anyway I hope you enjoy! :)

Somehow summer slowly drifts into autumn without Louis realizing it and before he knows it Harry’s walking into Wildfire during one of Louis’ shifts with a giddy smile and a handful of orange envelopes.

He waits patiently to the side of the counter while Louis finishes up with a customer, but in his peripheral vision he can see the younger boy bouncing on his toes in excitement. Louis can feel a smile stretching onto his face as he tries to focus on his customer and not the bouncy boy.

As soon as the customer walks away Harry’s behind the counter and in Louis’ space with the orange envelope trust out towards him.

“Woah there Styles,” he laughs taking the envelope from him, “what is this?”

“Open it.”

Louis quirks an eyebrow, ripping open the orange paper and pulling out a black card with careful silver print.

_You’re invited to Harry’s Halloween Bash_

_October 31 st 9pm_

_Wear a costume or else!_

_See you then._

Louis looks back up at Harry with raised eyebrows, “Bash Harry, honestly?”

“It sounds better than party okay,” Harry pouts before he looks down at the shorter boy earnestly, “you’ll come won’t you?”

Louis shakes his head fondly, “It sounds like you’re in primary school, but yes, of course I’ll come, there’s nowhere else I’d rather be,” he kisses his cheek and can feel Harry flush under his lips in happiness.

“These are for Zayn and Eleanor,” he says handing over two more similarly orange envelopes with excitement still alight in his eyes.

He looks younger like this, with the childish excitement over a party making his eyes sparkle a lighter green than usual and his smile seem more boyish.

He’s still gorgeous.

***

Louis is babysitting Lux when Harry shows up at his doorstep with cake mix and orange food coloring.

“What the fuck is that?” he asks as Lux leans forward in his arms towards Harry because he’s still her ‘bestest friend’ Louis never reclaimed that title.

“Hazza,” she squeals with a laugh, Harry giggles and plucks her from Louis’ arms, smiling widely down at her.

“Hey there Luxie, what are you up to today?”

“LouLou, fun,” Lux answers and Harry nods as if he completely understands

“You having fun with Louis, are you cutie?” He throws her in the air and catches her kissing her cheek as she laughs and Louis can’t help but smile at his two favorite people in the word laughing together.

“These,” Harry says holding up the cake mix and food coloring, to answer Louis’ question, “are to make orange cupcakes for my Halloween Bash. I was hoping you’d help me test it out.”

“Cuppycakes. Me help,” Lux announces looking up at Harry with wide serious eyes.

“Of course you’ll help,” Harry grins setting her on the ground, he hands her the cake mix and sends her to put it on the kitchen table. She scampers off into the kitchen in excitement and Harry finally gives Louis his full attention.

“This okay?” he asks, “I didn’t know she’d be here, if you think it’ll be too messy I can get her to play something else.”

Louis grins, “To be honest I’m probably going to make more of a mess then she will, I’m horrendous in the kitchen.”

Harry grins, “I've heard.”

Louis rolls his eyes and pushes Harry playfully before turning and following Lux into the kitchen.

Once in the kitchen Harry gives Lux the job to find the ingredients in the kitchen while instructing Louis to pull out a mixing bowl and whisk.

“Whisk? What the fuck is a whisk?” Louis mutters to himself as he rummages through a drawer.

Harry clears his throat behind him and Louis turns around with a questioning look. Harry holds up an object and grins.

“This is a whisk Lou.”

“I knew that,” he grumbles snatching the whisk from Harry's large hand.

As Louis is pouring the ingredients into the bowl while Lux sits on the counter watching with wide awe filled eyes, Harry flicks on the radio and starts softly singing along.

Louis grins as the low rumble of his voice weaves its way through the kitchen and he starts singing along quietly.

Harry’s head snaps towards him and he grins, singing louder and shimmying towards him exaggeratedly.

Louis giggles and walks backwards as Harry walks towards him.

Lux starts singing along in nonsense words and both boys laugh.

Louis sweeps her off the counter in one fluid motions and swoops her into a twirling dance that has her falling into Harry’s chest, a giggling mess.

Louis falls with her just as the last note of the song fades away and time freezes as Louis realizes how close his and Harry’s faces are. He locks eyes with Harry and sees that he’s come to the same conclusion. He watches green eyes dart down to his lips before looking back at him and Louis grins licking his lips.

It’s completely silent save for the soft chatter of the radio host, Lux uncharacteristically quiet. Louis smiles softly as Harry makes a content sound before leaning forward slowly. Louis leans forward as well and flutters his eyes shut in anticipation but he doesn’t feel lips on his. Instead he feels a tongue on his cheek and he recoils with a squawk.

“Harry Edward Styles” he cries wiping his damp cheek on the other boy’s chest “Fuck you, you little shit.”

“Louis!” Harry covers Lux’s ears with his hands, “There is a _child_ present, watch your horrid language,” he’s grinning and Louis really wants to punch him in the face and kiss him at the same time.

He settles for rolling his eyes and flicking him off when Lux isn’t looking.

By the time they finish making the cupcakes Louis has egg in his hair and cake batter all over his shirt, Lux is covered in frosting, and Harry has flour all over his face and hair.

Harry puts the fully decorated orange cupcakes on the counter with a flourish and smiles at Louis as the flour slides off his cheek.

“Well that was an adventure,” he says with a dimpled grin.

“They’re good, I’m surprised given how much of a struggle they were to make,” Louis answers him, taking a cupcake and licking off the frosting.

“Icky,” Lux says trying to push frosting off her arms.

“Yeah,” Harry agrees, “we need showers don’t we Luxie?” Harry swoops Lux into his arms and walks them towards the bathroom, leaving a trail of frosting and flour down the hall. A couple of months ago Louis would have groaned at the mess but he just laughs at the trail. He and Harry have made bigger messes before. He watches the line of the taller boy’s back as he sways ever so slightly, talking animatedly to Lux about narwhales and wonders when Harry and his stupid spontaneous ideas became such a normal everyday thing to him.

***

The day of Harry’s Halloween party Louis wakes to his phone ringing annoyingly in his ear.

He blindly reaches for it and is about to hit the decline button when he sees it's Harry. A small smile replaces his frown without him even realizing it and he answers the call with a soft fond laugh.

“Why are you awake at such an ungodly hour of the morning Harold?”

He can practically hear Harry’s smile as he laughs and replies, “Lou, its past ten that’s a normal hour of the morning.”

“Sure,” Louis says with a smirk “but I’ll bet just about anything that you’ve been up for ages already.”

He hears Harry shuffle on the other side of the line before he makes a noise of protest.

“You can’t prove that.”

Louis just rolls his eyes and mutters a soft “idiot,” into the phone.

“Anyway,” Harry says, voice going bright, “I was wondering if you’d possibly help me set up for tonight. I’ve been working since I got up and have realized it’s terribly boring without company. So would you?” he asks hopefully.

Louis grins, as if he’d ever say no to spending time with Harry Styles. The fact that Harry basically just woke him up at ten in the fucking morning and he hasn’t killed him should scare Louis more than it does.

“Of course love, I’d love to keep you company,” he doesn’t fight the smile that makes its way onto his face as Harry cheers.

Louis’ cheeks hurt from smiling and he hasn’t even gotten out of bed yet.

***

When Louis arrives at Harry’s flat he’s met with bright green eyes and a jack o' lantern cupcake in his face.

“Isn’t it cute Lou?” Harry asks with sparkling eyes. Louis looks up at him, he’s got his hair tied up in a messy bun with wisps of curls falling softly into his face and smudges of flour on his cheeks. Louis smiles up at him.

“The cutest.”

Harry locks eyes with him and the giddiness behind them fades into something soft as he realizes what Louis means.

“Thanks,” he mutters softly with a bashful smile before moving out of the doorway to let Louis in.

Louis feels his cheeks burn, he hadn’t meant to say that, it had just slipped out his mouth.

He looks up at the other boy and sees that Harry’s cheeks are just as red as Louis’ feel but he has a smile stretched across his face so wide it looks painful. Louis feels his mouth curve upwards without his permission.

Goddammit Harry Styles.

Harry leads him to the kitchen where he has all types of Halloween themed snacks lined up on the counter.

“Can you put these on trays and take them into the other room while I frost the rest of these cupcakes?”

Louis nods and gets to work.

They work in silence, the hum of the radio the only sound in the room. It should be awkward, especially since Louis just accidently called Harry cute, yet it isn’t. The silence between them comforting, the warmth of Harry’s glowing presence making Louis feel lighter than he has in ages.

The silence is broken when Harry hands Louis orange streamers and asks him to help him decorate.

Louis follows him into the living room and sets about putting up the streamers as Harry hands him pieces of tape.

They talk about everything and nothing and Louis hasn’t felt more at peace in a long time.

When they get to the other side of the room Louis can’t quite reach to stick the streamer up and Harry giggles at him as he pushes onto his toes and hops up in vain.

“Shut the fuck up Haz,” he mutters, glaring behind him at Harry whose eyes are sparkling in amusement.

He presses his body up against Louis’ back, taking the streamer from his hand and putting it up. Louis glares at the wall in front of him, angry at Harry’s largeness and at the pit of arousal that appears in his stomach at the press of Harry’s chest against his back.

Harry keeps his hands against the wall, trapping Louis against it and he huffs before spinning around in the cage of his arms.

“Just because you’re a fucking giant does not give you the right-“ he starts but is interrupted as Harry ducks his head down to his neck and kisses the skin there softly. He tries not to whimper as Harry kisses up towards the sensitive skin behind his ear and bites down, Louis' anger completely forgotten.

He flutters his eyes closed and tangles his hands into Harry’s soft curls, tugging and smirking as Harry groans against his skin.

“Taste so good Lou,” he murmurs, lips moving against Louis’ skin and Louis opens his eyes, grinning evilly at Harry as an idea takes form in his mind. He pushes against Harry’s chest hard, sending them both tumbling to the ground. 

Harry stares up at Louis with wide eyes as he gathers both of Harry’s wrists into his hands and pulls them up over his head, kissing him hard, licking into his mouth, reveling in his taste.

He can feel Harry’s warm body under him as he presses him further into the ground with all his weight, smirking as Harry moans into his mouth. His eyes slip closed and his hands go limp in Louis’ hold, his responsiveness sending shivers down Louis’ spine.

“So,” Louis starts conversationally as he tilts Harrys head to the side and licks along his neck, “I’ve heard you like it rough.”

Harry shudders against him, hands still held above his head even though he could easily break out of Louis’ loose hold.

Louis looks down at the mess of a boy under him, green eyes blown wide with lust and lanky body trembling in anticipation. He feels arousal pool in his stomach as his lips make their way to Harry’s ear.

“Maybe I should tie you up with these streamers and fuck you hmm?” he asks lowly, his voice becoming rough with how turned on he feels, “Maybe then you won’t make fun of my streamer skills.”

Harry whimpers against him and pushes his hips up into Louis’

“Please.”

Louis barely suppresses a groan as their hardened cocks push against each other through the cotton of their sweatpants.

He lets go of Harry’s hands and pushes his hips down harshly, “Don’t move,” he says as he sits up and grabs the roll of streamers that had been lying on the ground, forgotten.

Harry looks up at him from the floor with wide eyes and flushed cheeks. He’s panting, his lips bitten red and his legs spread open wide and inviting.

Louis has to gulp before he kneels in the v of Harry’s legs. As he does Harry presses his knees against Louis’ side and smiles innocently up at him.

Louis rolls his eyes, breaking free of his hold and flattening himself on Harry’s body using all of his weight.

“Hold still you bloody-“ Louis’ cut off by a knock on the door.

He sits back up abruptly “Who’s that?” he questions the flushed boy under him.

Harry just shrugs “Probably the boys, I asked them to come help too,” he eyes the streamer in Louis’ hand, “Though I much prefer what we were just doing. Do you think if we ignore them and make really loud sex noises they’ll go away?”

Louis laughs and leans down to peck his lips before standing up and holding a hand up to Harry.

“Nah, I think I’ll stay here and compose myself first,” Harry says from the floor and gestures to his crotch and his still very obvious hard on.

Louis cackles as he walks to the door, “We’ll finish this after the party, mark my word Styles,” he calls over his shoulder.

“Not helping,” Harry replies from the floor with a groan.

***

After the five of them have finished decorating they go to change into their costumes before the rest of the guests arrive.

Louis is filled with giddy energy because he finally gets to see Harry’s costume, which the younger boy had been annoyingly secretive about. In retaliation Louis hadn’t let Harry see his costume either.

He can’t wait for his reaction.

He’d decided to go as Peter Pan almost solely because he wants to see Harry try and resist him in tights for the entire night. He absolutely cannot wait to tease him mercilessly all night.

He walks into the room where the other boys are waiting and when he sees Harry both of them freeze staring at each other in shock.

Harry is dressed as a pirate.

A pirate.

He even has a real fucking parrot on his shoulder, fucking Harry Styles.

Of all the fucking things, he had to pick something that bloody matches Louis’ costume. Since when did they start thinking the same way?

Harry starts giggling and Louis tries to maintain a straight face but ends up giggling along with him.

“We fucking match,” he gets out in between giggles.

“Great minds think alike?” Harry suggests with amused eyes.

“An actual bloody parrot? Really Haz?”

Harry just shrugs “All or nothing Lou,” he winks, “Or should I say _Peter.”_

He steps in close and leans into Louis’ ear, hot breath ghosting across his earlobe.

“You better fuck me hard tonight if you’re going to walk around in that all night,” he whispers hot and low.

Louis has to suppress and shudder.

 “I plan to.”

“Please stop before I throw up,” Niall groans from the couch.

Louis jumps, he’d forgotten the others were even in the room. Harry just laughs and moves out of Louis’ space to turn towards the other three boys.

“Let’s get this party started shall we?”

***

It’s an hour into the party and Louis is half way smashed already, he lost Harry some twenty minutes ago when he made the executive decision to maintain his distance in order to stop himself from jumping his bones in the middle of the party.

It’s just he looked so good with his sweaty hair falling out of the pirate bandana and his shirt somehow having gotten unbuttoned all the way to his naval revealing his tattooed chest and Louis is just having a hard time keeping his hands to himself. Sue him.

He wants to wreck him and he just wants this bloody party to end already so he can finish what he started.

He’s handed another shot by Zayn just as he spots Harry across the room, draped across the couch, shirt not fully buttoned and lips sinfully red. He sees Louis and locks their eyes before he wraps his lips around a beer bottle and winks at him cheekily.

He turns to Zayn in distress.

“He’s fucking doing it on purpose,” he whines, “he’s driving me up the bloody wall, _I_ was supposed to be the one teasing _him_ tonight. Fuck Harry Styles.”

Zayn cackles “I think you’ll definitely be fucking Harry Styles tonight. You two are disgusting.” 

Louis glares up at him pointedly, “Do not laugh at my sexual frustrations.” He scolds him.

“Oh, that’s not what I’m talking about Lou, you’re so fucking gone for him, you don’t even realize.”

“What?” Louis turns towards Zayn in indignation, “I am not-“

He’s interrupted as Harry barges up to him and pulls him with him into his room.

“What the-“ Louis asks but is once again interrupted as Harry slams the door closed behind them and pushes Louis against it, lips hungry against his.

“You can’t take a bloody hint can you, you fucking idiot.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Louis questions between kisses.

“I,” Harry pecks his lips, “have been,” he moves his lips down to Louis’ ear, “trying to get you to fuck me,” he kisses his lips harder this time, “for this entire party.”

Louis glares up at the older boy, “You’re such a fucking tease, I hate you, I’ve been trying to keep it in my pants this entire party, do you have any idea how hot you are?” he breathes into his lips before grabbing Harry’s slim waist and maneuvering the two of them to the bed.

He pushes Harry down first and falls on top of him with a laugh.

Harry wastes no time in slipping his cold hands down Louis’ tights and groping his arse.

“Someone’s eager” Louis gasps into his ear, and smooths the curls away from Harry’s face to kiss along his jawline.

Harry’s grip on Louis slackens at that and he moves into the touch of Louis’ mouth.

“How are you so good at that,” he whimpers, letting out small sounds that send shivers down Louis’ spine.

Louis grins against his jaw and pushes his hips down onto Harry’s, eyes widening as he arches his back into the touch and moans loudly.

“So pretty for me princess,” he murmurs into his skin before unbuttoning the last two buttons of Harry’s shirt and sliding it off his shoulders.

He lets his hands roam the other boy’s skin and lets his eyes skim the boy in front of him. He can’t believe he’s lucky enough to get to touch this. He’s never wanted anything more.

He brings his lips back to Harry’s and lets him do the work this time, curling his tongue around Louis’ and deepening the kiss until Louis feels like he could drown in the curve of his lips and the soft swipe of his tongue against his.

Harry sits up as Louis parts their lips with a pop and he pulls Louis’ shirt off along with pulling the tights down to his thighs.

“Off,” he chants, “Off, off, everything off Lou,” he whines, “I’ve been waiting for ages c’mon move lets go.”

Louis would be endeared at the pout on his face if his eyes’ weren’t a dark hue of green, filled with hunger and lust.

Louis gulps in anticipation as he helps Harry’s larger hands pull his clothes off his body.

When they finish Louis makes quick work of Harry’ trousers and pants and then they’re both panting and naked in front of each other.

Harry just stares at him, eyes flicking from his face, down his chest, and stopping at his rock hard cock sitting against his thigh.

His gaze is so intense Louis is all but frozen under it, waiting for him to do something.

Harry makes an incoherent sound before he groans and shuffles forwards on his knees to straddle Louis’ waist.

“You are the most beautiful human being I have ever seen in my life,” he whispers softly into the curve of Louis’ neck.

The soft confession is in stark contrast to the heat of the moment and Louis can’t help but get a bit choked up as he looks down at the naked boy in his arms.

Harry has made himself small enough to fit in Louis’ lap somehow, his limbs all curled up and around Louis’ body and his face still tucked into Louis’ neck as if he’s scared to face his reaction.

Louis softly coaxes him away from his neck and stares into his familiar green eyes. He takes a deep breath to calm his nerves before he lays everything out for this wonderful boy in front of him. This beautiful boy that he never wants to let go of.

“And you,” he kisses the other boy’s soft lips to steady himself before going on, “are the most breathtaking thing I have ever had the privilege to have laid my eyes on.”

The blush that makes its way across Harry’s cheeks makes it worth it.

***

The next morning Louis wakes up to a mouthful of curls and dried come stuck to his stomach.

He blinks the sleep out of his eyes before lifting his head and looking down at the boy next to him.

Harry’s lips are parted slightly in his sleep and his eyelashes fan across his face, creating spidery shadows across his cheekbones. Louis smiles slightly at him before bringing a finger up to stroke along the soft skin of his cheeks. He doesn’t know how this became his life. How waking up with a warm, soft body next to him became such a normal occurrence. Or how the fire in his chest still hasn’t gone out since the day he set his eyes on Harry way back at the start of the summer, ice cream in hand and Lux by his side.

Harry’s nose twitches in his sleep and Louis can’t help but giggle as he furrows his eyebrows like a disgruntled kitten. He turns over and blinks and eye open at Louis, a sliver of sparkling emerald blinding Louis.

“Morning Lou,” he rumbles out soft as the morning around them.

“Good morning,” Louis giggles and slides his head next to Harry’s on the pillow.

Harry wrinkles his nose as he looks at Louis, going cross-eyed as he does.

“You do know there is another pillow right behind you right?”

“But this one smells like you,” Louis whines, bumping their noses together and Harry giggles. 

Louis hums contently, “So, were you satisfied with your party?”

“Hmm, I think so, I mean I spent most of it trying to seduce you so I was a bit distracted to be honest,” Harry laughs.

“You’re such a horny teenager,” Louis presses closer and slips his eyes closed as he speaks.

“Shut the fuck up you were just as bad, I could see your hard on from across the room, those tights hid nothing.”

Louis smirks, “Well that was what I had been going for.”

“Menace,” Harry grabs Louis waist and drags him towards his body.

Louis just grins and lets himself be pulled into the warmth of the younger boy, there’s nowhere else he’d rather be.

He snuggles into the space under Harry’s head and presses a kiss to the underside of his jaw. As he starts to doze off again he promises himself that he’s going to do something to show this wonderful boy just how much he means to him.

***

Louis is the one who shows up at Harry’s door unannounced for once, his heart pounding in excitement as he hides his surprise behind his back.

Harry opens the door in just pajama bottoms looking soft with sleep and Louis almost throws the tickets away in favor of pulling the other boy back into bed. Instead he grins up at him and brandishes the two tickets out in front of him with a proud smile.

“Get dressed I’m taking you out Styles.”

Harry studies the tickets in Louis’ hands and he can tell the moment Harry realizes what they are because his eyes widen in shock and his hand stills over Louis’.

“You bought us tickets to the botany gardens?” he rushes out in an awed whisper, looking at Louis in wonder, as if he had just given him the secrets of the universe or something equally as earth shattering.

“Yeah, I did,” Louis whispers back softly, enjoying the pure happiness gracing Harry’s face, eyes alight and mouth spread in a grin so wide it looks like it could split his face. Louis would do anything to make Harry look like this every second of every day. He doesn’t care if he has to buy every botany garden in the world, he’ll do it without a second thought.

“I-Louis, _Lou,_ I don’t know what to say,” Harry gets out incoherently and Louis hands him the ticket.

“Say you’ll come with me and tell me all about the plants and flowers. I want to know everything about something that makes you so happy.”

Harry visibly gulps and then suddenly Louis is enveloped in too long limbs and the smell of fresh strawberries and roses that is so irrevocably Harry, so irrevocably _home_. He sags into the warmth and rests his head into the crook between Harry’s shoulder and head and just breathes him in.

After a long moment Harry pulls away and points behind him into his flat.

“Come inside, I’ll just take a second to get dressed and then we can go.”

At the gardens Harry is a jumpy enthusiastic mess, flitting from one flower to the next and stroking the petals of flowers softly before turning to Louis with gleaming eyes and spouting off information that Louis wouldn’t have cared about at all if it hadn’t been coming out of Harry’s mouth. But since this is Harry, and he looks like he’s experiencing Christmas and his birthday rolled into one Louis files away every single word safe in the back of his mind for when he needs to put a smile back on this boy’s face.

“Lou, oh my god Lou, look at this,” he all but shouts and gestures wildly for Louis to come towards him, “Look, it’s a fucking Chocolate Cosmo, these are protected by law Lou, _law_ there’s only one clone of it left in existence.” He looks down at the flower sadly and then back up at Louis, eyes soft “they smell like chocolate when they bloom, that’s where they got their name you know,” he sighs, “I wish I could sell these, kids would love em’.”

Louis just stares at the way he’s glowing with happiness and feels the inexplainable need to kiss him. To feel that blinding smile against his lips and try and inhale some of the golden happiness that seems to be pouring off of him in waves.

He pulls him away from the flowers with a soft hand on his elbow and drags his lips over Harry’s chapped ones. It’s a simple dry brush of their lips and Louis pulls away before Harry deepens it. They’ve never kissed without it leading to sex and Louis honestly doesn’t want that right now. He just wants to feel Harry against him, warm and happy and maybe just maybe take some of that happiness as his own.

At the gift shop before they leave Harry buys Louis a bouquet of roses, whispering their meanings into the space between them as he hands them to him.

“Cream for appreciation, peach for gratitude, pink for sweetness, yellow for joy, and red,” he pauses and interrupts himself to kiss him hard on the mouth and they end up squishing the flowers between their bodies.

Harry looks down and giggles out an oops and Louis kisses him again.

Louis walks Harry home and on the way Harry bumps their hands together enough times that Louis rolls his eyes and grabs his hand.

Harry looks up at him with gleaming eyes at that and Louis can’t find it in him to regret it. Harry swings their hands between them happily and he just smiles to himself at the way they look enveloped in each other. Harry’s larger hand almost completely covering his own small one. He likes it for some reason, how Harry envelopes him but doesn’t exactly suffocate.

When Louis has left Harry with a goodbye kiss to his cheek and has made it home and is putting the slightly crushes roses into a vase he realizes Harry never told him what the red one meant.

***

Its Lux’s birthday and Louis and Zayn have landed the job of trying to distract her from the cake that Harry is trying to frost with Lou in the kitchen but it seems like the only thing she can think about.

Every time Louis so much as take his eyes off the girl she’s on her way to tiptoeing into the kitchen and Louis has to attack her with tickling.

Honestly, maybe she just wants to be tickled, who knows what goes on in her brain.

Louis can hear Harry’s low rumble laugh come from the kitchen and smiles as he pictures the way he’s probably thrown his head back as he laughs, revealing the long column of his pale neck, eyes gleaming and dimples deep.

He catches Zayn watching him and raises a questioning eyebrow.

Zayn just shakes his head mysteriously and swings Lux into his arms as she tries once again to make a break for the kitchen.

“I told you he would be good for you,” He says just as Harry walks into the room, smile on his face.

Lux squeals and starts retelling the story she’s already told Louis and Zayn seven times about how all her friends are coming to celebrate her birthday to Harry who listens intently

The doorbell rings as Harry is talking to Lux and Louis gets up to open the door revealing four little girls all about Lux’s age smiling sweetly in the doorway, their parents behind them.

They all squeal Lux’s named before running into the house leaving giggles in their wake.

Louis is left struggling with the stacks of presents the parents hand him and smiles greatly when Zayn and Harry take a few out of his hands so he can close the door.

When he makes it back to the room with the kids it’s already five times as loud as it was before and Lux is standing in the middle of a ring of sparkly tutu clad little girls, hands on her hips and a commanding look on her face.

Louis giggles into his hand at the sight and startles when a chin lands on his shoulder.

He turns to find Harry resting his head on his shoulder a smile on his face. He smells sweet from the frosting and Louis inhales a deep breath of the scent with a happy sigh.

“She’s such a bossy menace,” Harry laughs into his ear and Louis hums in agreement, sagging back against Harry’s warm body.

He turns around after a moment to look in to the other boy’s eyes, “I feel like I haven’t seen you all day even though we’ve been in the same fucking house since this morning.”

Harry rolls his eyes, “Language Lou,” he gestures to the girls, who are now pulling out all types of hair accessories and throwing them onto the floor. Louis groans internally, that’ll be a joy to clean up. “And that’s what you get for volunteering for babysitting duty, Lux requires all your attention at all times, no time for boys.” He winks before turning and starting to make his way to the kitchen, hips swaying, but is stopped by Lux’s high pitched voice.

“Hazza!”

Harry turns around again and Louis turns to look at Lux as well, his mouth quirking up into a smirk as he realizes what Lux has planned. She is clutching sparkly barrettes and hairpins in both of her chubby hands and staring at Harry’s long hair quizzically.

“Me and my friends need to make your hair pretty,” she announces.

Louis expects Harry to distract her or gently tell her to work on one of her friend’s hair instead but to his surprise Harry’s face lights up in a grin and he takes Lux’s hand without hesitation.

“I would absolutely love for you and your friends to make my hair pretty Lux,” he says and really Louis doesn’t know why he’s surprised at all. Of all the grown men in the world Harry Styles _would_  be the one who would be overjoyed to let a bunch of four and five year olds do his hair.

Twenty minutes later Lou and Louis walk back into the room with snacks to find Harry in the middle of a circle of sparkly children a bright smile on his face and multiple brightly colored sparkly objects haphazardly dangling from his hair. He’s even somehow ended up in his own tutu and Zayn is sitting on the couch laughing hysterically while taking pictures on his phone.

Louis smiles at the scene as he holds a tray of fish sticks. All of his favorite people together in one room giggling and happy and sparkly in the best way possible. Louis feels something warm spreading through his chest and as Harry meets his eyes from the middle of the floor, eyes a familiar bright green Louis realizes he’s in love. He’s in love with this curly haired idiot who fell into his life and made it three millions times better. This idiot who wore a tutu and sparkly barrettes to make Lux happy. This idiot who made Zayn laugh till tears were leaking out of his eyes. This idiot who got up early on his only day off from the shop to come help Lou and Tom decorate and bake the cake. This idiot who not only made his life better but everyone around him as well.

And fuck Louis’ in love with Harry Styles, this is not good. He feels dread pool in the pit of his stomach. Love never ends well for Louis.

***

The next day Louis wakes up to soft lips moving against his own. He grins into the kiss and sighs in content, grabbing Harry by the neck and pulling him fully down on top of him.

Harry grunts in surprise before rearranging himself on top of Louis’ body, grinning down at him, his hair a halo around his head. “Morning sunshine.”

Louis grins softly back up at him and tucks a curl behind his ear. “Morning yourself,” he says into the space between them.

“Get up I wanna take you out for brunch,” Harry urges sliding off Louis’ body and onto the other side of the bed, taking his warmth with him.

Louis makes grabby hands at him and Harry takes the hint, scooting back towards him and overr his arm to rest his head on Louis’s shoulder, cuddling into his side.

“Louuuuu” he whines, “C’mon Lou, brunch.”

Louis smirks down at him “I’m going to need more incentive than brunch to get out of this warm bed.”

Harry just groans and throws himself back over Louis body, completely covering him with his long, gangly limbs.

“Please?” he asks, widening his eyes and blinking down at him owlishly. When he pouts out his lips adorably Louis can’t resist, he surges forward and pecks his pouted lips softly and giggles.

“You’re gonna have to do better than that Styles.”

Harry frowns before leaning down and peppering small kisses all over Louis’ face and cheeks muttering little pleases between kisses and smiling as Louis squirms away from him.

He sits back up on his heels after, straddling Louis’ waist and tries one last time, “Please?”

His lips are quirked in a smile that extends to his eyes, the green orbs reflecting the sunlight from the window and god Louis is so in love with him. He’d been doing a fine job of ignoring it since he realized it. It doesn’t have to be a problem, he can ignore it and he _will._ He’s not going to lose Harry over something as stupid as falling in love with the bloke. But here, like this, he can’t help it. Harry is just so beautiful, so _Harry_ and Louis doesn’t know what to do.

Without thinking Louis sits up so they’re chest to chest and smiles back at the younger boy, “I lo-“ he freezes, stopping himself. What the fuck is he thinking? He can’t tell him. He can’t jeopardize whatever the fuck they have because of love. Love always ends badly and Louis can’t have Harry end badly. Louis _needs_ Harry. He can’t lose him.

He sees Harry’s eyes widen and his mind races for a way to cover his slip up, “I um- I’ve gotta be somewhere.” He says quickly and pushes Harry off of his body, jumping out of bed quickly and making a beeline for the door, not even changing out of his pajamas.

Harry is left on the bed staring at the door as it slams closed behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol sorry for the cliff hanger! If you liked it please leave comments and kudos they mean the word to me :)


	5. V

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took so long. This is the last chapter I hope you guys like it. 
> 
> There are references and mentions of homophobia, panic attacks, and manipulation in this chapter so if any of those things are triggering to you I advise not reading. 
> 
> If you still want to read just message me here through a comment or on my tumblr (naughticalarry) and I'll tell you where the mention is and fill you in on what happens during that part. 
> 
> Happy reading

Louis makes it to Zayn’s flat in record time and retrieves the key hidden under the mat with shaky hands to unlock the door.

He barges into the room with a lump in his throat and panic climbing into his body. He finds Zayn asleep on the couch, hair falling into his face as he snores into the couch cushions.

“Zayn,” he gets out softly, and curses himself at the way his voice shakes over the word.

Zayn blinks blearily up at him from his spot on the couch and Louis doesn’t know what to do so he just sighs and falls onto the other boy, cuddling into his side and burying his face into his neck.

He sighs against the warm skin and breathes Zayn in. He doesn’t smell like roses or sweetness like Harry and Louis has to squeeze his eyes shut to stop himself from crying.

“Zayn I have a problem,” he rasps out into the other boy’s neck.

Zayn rubs his eyes sleepily and sits up to looks down at Louis. Louis gulps and keeps his eyes cast downwards, afraid to look him in the eye.

“What’s up Lou, are you alright?” he asks, concern lacing his voice as he pulls Louis into his side and rubs his back softly. Louis sighs and leans into the touch, hiding his face and trying to calm his panicked breathing.

After a while of just sitting in silence, Zayn rubbing his back and softly humming under his breath, Louis finally has the courage to say it.

“I’m in love with Harry,” he says it softly into the space between them and not higher than a whisper but Zayn hears him all the same.

His eyes widen and he sits straight up on the couch.

“What?” he asks looking excited and Louis thinks he sees hope glowing in his eyes.

“I love him and-and I don’t know what to do, I love him so much it terrifies me. He scares me so bloody much Zayn. How can I love one person this much? This can’t be healthy I-“ Louis starts, growing into hysterics.

Zayn cuts him off with a huge grin, and Louis tries to push down the panic he’s still feeling in his chest. “Tell him you tosser! What are you waiting for?”

Louis looks back at him with wide shocked eyes, because Zayn of all people should understand how terrible this is.

“No, I- I can’t,”

“Why the fuck not?” Zayn states back at him incredulous and pushes himself off the couch so he’s at the same height as Louis, who had gotten up to pace the room. “You love him and he’s sure as hell in love with you, so what’s the problem?”

Louis sighs shakily and swallows down the lump he can feel forming in his throat, “I can’t let my heart be broken again Z, I can’t spend another three years trying to get over someone. I learned a lot of things from Jake, one thing was that people like me? Eventually everyone leaves us. And people like Harry? They leave the quickest.”

Zayn’s eyes have softened and he leads Louis back to the couch. “I don’t understand Lou, I thought you were over Jake, you’ve been with loads of guys since him, why’s Harry any different?”

Louis feels his eyes burning from holding back tears for so long. He takes a deep breath before talking, “I never started a full committed relationship with any of them, they were there to have a nice time with and then maybe a nice fuck and then we never saw each other again. It was casual, it didn’t involve feeling anything.” Louis looks to the wall at a picture of the five of them pinned up on Zayn’s wall, his eyes lingering on Harry’s smiling face.

 “Harry’s different, special, because after the nice time, after the sex, he’s still there, he’s still bloody there and I can’t seem to make him go away, and he makes me feel so much, so many things I’ve never felt before. There’s so many feeling I feel like my blood is on fire every time I’m with him. I’ve thought about what you told me that day when you first told me to ask Harry out a lot lately and I’ve realized you were wrong.” Zayn tries to interrupt but Louis holds up a hand to stop him and shakes his head sadly before continuing.

“I was happy before Harry, I had you and El and Lux and Lou and Tom. But you were right about one thing, I’d never really lived till I met him, I’d never felt alive, never felt the rush of just letting go, letting my walls come down. Harry taught me how. He taught me it’s okay to be vulnerable and to be scared of being hurt but to take the risk anyway. He taught me how to stop letting my past influence me. He taught me to live my life instead of merely surviving. And he did it all without even realizing it. Since I met him I’ve barely thought of Jake and all the shit that happened back home, when before it was the last thing I thought of at night and the first thing I thought of every morning. And I’m trying to let go of it completely, I’m trying so fucking hard because I finally have a reason to. But I don’t know if I can keep doing that now. Because I’m going to lose him. I'm in love with him Zayn, and that scares me so bloody much. I’ve never let someone get close enough to hurt me since Jake, not until Harry came along. He snuck his way into my heart without me even noticing and made a home there without my permission. And I’m scared Zayn, I know I’ve said that a billion times since I got here but it’s true. I’m so bloody scared I’m going to get hurt again and that’s the worst part,” he sighs and wipes furiously at the tears that have made their way down his face as he talked.

“I love him so much more than I ever loved Jake. I can picture a future with him, I can see us moving in together and getting married some day and buying a cute house with a lawn big enough to maybe settle down with kids that have his same terrible sense of humor and sparking green eyes.” He laughs bitterly and bats away more tears before turning his back to Zayn.

 “And it fucking kills me that I know that none of it will ever happen.”

Zayn looks up at him from the couch with sad eyes.

“Oh Lou,” he breathes and holds his arms out for him and that just breaks Louis, he starts sobbing and falls into Zayn’s arms.

Zayn smooths his hands up and down his back softly and whispers soothing things into his ear like “It’ll be okay” and “You’ll be fine Lou, I promise” but Louis knows they’re all lies. He won’t ever be okay again because he finally had a reason to fix himself and now that reason is gone. He knows Harry will never want him in the same way Louis wants him.

***

The next day while Zayn and Louis are working a shift Harry walks in and Louis’ breath hitches as he sees his sparking green eyes and bright smile for the first time in three days. He sees Zayn throw him a worried glance but he’s too busy staring at Harry, it seems like he’s gotten even more beautiful in the days Louis hasn’t seen him. His hair is held from his face in a messy bun and he’s wearing a colorful shirt with the top three buttons undone so Louis can see the top of the butterfly tattoo on his torso. He can’t look away and fuck, he really needs to because how is he supposed to get over Harry when he looks like that and is smiling at him like that?

Harry walks up to him and comes around the counter to rest his chin down on Louis’ shoulder and Louis has to stop himself from tensing up at the touch. If Harry notices he doesn’t say anything.

He nuzzles his face into Louis’ shoulder, “I haven’t seen you in ages Lou,” he murmurs. He smells so familiar, so much like home and Louis could cry with how much he’s missed him these last three days.

Louis can see Zayn biting his lip worryingly from across the room and Louis gulps. He needs to get away from Harry.

Right now.

Before he starts crying uncontrollably.

“I-Haz, sorry, I completely forgot but I have to watch Lux right now, it completely slipped my mind. Z you can cover the shift right? Sorry man.” He lies.

“Yeah course Lou, no problem.” Zayn says without missing a beat and Louis could hug him.

He pulls out of Harry’s hold and quickly grabs his stuff, fighting back tears. As he straightens up Harry lands a soft hand on his shoulder and pecks his lips unexpectedly.

“Have fun.”

Louis blinks back up at him. He needs this to stop, he needs to get over Harry and he can’t do that if he keeps kissing him. He sighs in defeat and drops his gaze to the floor.

“We have to stop doing that Haz,” he says softly and turns and leaves without waiting for a reply, he doesn’t want to see the hurt or confusion on the other boy’s face, he knows he’ll just take it back when he sees those perfect lips turned down in a frown and then he’ll never get over Harry.

He hides in Zayn’s flat because he’s afraid Harry will try and find him and he has a key to Louis’ flat. Louis needs to get that back somehow. Maybe Zayn could do it for him? He doesn’t think he’d be able to handle doing it himself.

When Zayn gets home he finds Louis curled up on the couch with a pillow and red swollen eyes. He sits up quickly when Zayn walks in and Zayn, for the first time since Louis told him about his problem with Harry, doesn’t look at him with pity.

“Lou, we need to talk.”

“About what?” he leans his head on Zayn’s shoulder where he’s sat down next to him on the couch.

“Harry.” Louis recoils from him like he’s been burnt.

“No, I never want to talk about this again, I’m already having trouble getting over him.”

“Lou, Harry isn’t Jake, far from him actually. He’s one of the most genuinely good people I’ve ever met, he’d never hurt you.”

“I know he’d never fucking hurt me on purpose Z, he’s Harry, but I can’t let anyone get that close ever again. Not after last time.”

“He’s in love with you Lou,” Zayn cries out frustrated, “At least give him a chance to prove to you that he won’t hurt you before going and making assumptions. You’re forgetting that he’s my friend too, and I don’t ever want to see him the way he was today after you left again. You broke his heart.”

“I-,” Louis falters at that and can feel tears swelling up in his eyes again, he curses his body for betraying him and furiously wipes at his eyes. “I can’t take that risk. And even if he _is_ in love with me, which I highly doubt by the way, he’ll realize after a while how screwed up I am and he’ll eventually leave, he’d be the sweetest about it and let me down easy of course because he’s Harry and he couldn’t ever hurt anyone intentionally but it will happen I know it. I’m just saving us both from wasting our time. I’m doing him a favor and he’ll realize that sooner or later.”

“Louis-“ Zayn starts but Louis doesn’t want to have this conversation anymore, he’s cried too many times today and he doesn’t want to break down sobbing again. He gets up from the couch abruptly and walks out of the room.

“I need to clear my head, but is it okay if I stay here a while? Harry has keys to my flat.” He asks, fighting to keep his voice even over the green eyed boy’s name.

“Yeah sure Lou.” Zayn says quietly, still looking upset.

***

Louis manages to successfully avoid Harry for a week, spending a majority of his time on Zayn’s couch watching sad films and feeling sorry for himself.

Zayn had told Tom about his Harry problem despite Louis’ protests and he had given Louis the week off.

On his first day back at work Harry walks into the shop at his usual time and it’s so familiar that Louis almost smiles and pulls him into a hug before he remembers what had happened last time he saw Harry. As Harry gets closer the urge to kiss him is so strong Louis can barely suppress it and fuck he can’t do this. How the hell is he supposed to stay just friends with Harry when he makes him feel like this?

He gulps and stares at Harry wide eyed from across the counter. Harry seems equally as stuck, as if he didn’t expect Louis to actually be there.

After a moment he seems to recover and walks up the counter with a determined look on his face. Louis feels dread pool in his stomach, this can’t be good.

“Lou, where have you been I checked your flat every day.”

Louis doesn’t answer, just averts his eyes and tightens his hands on the end of the counter to ground himself. Maybe if he doesn’t say anything Harry will just give up and leave.

Louis’ not that lucky. Harry’s stubborn, always has been.

“And what the fuck did you mean when you said we have to stop doing that” he asks, putting finger quotations around the words.

Louis looks up slowly and meets Harry’s eyes. They look stormy and confused and Louis feels a pang in his heart as he realizes that they look like that because of him.

“I meant exactly what I said Harry,” he says slowly, fighting to keep his voice from shaking over the words, “we can’t keep kissing and fucking around, we aren’t in a relationship, and we shouldn’t be doing this. It needs to stop.”

Harry fish mouths at him and Louis averts his eyes again as he feels his calm exterior start to crumble.

“But-but what about everything?” Harry asks quietly and Louis groans inwardly, why doesn’t Harry know when to fucking quit? Why did he have to fall in love with the most infuriatingly persistent person on the planet?

“What about it?” Louis asks monotonously, turning to the register and pulling out a wad of cash to count in order preoccupy himself so he doesn’t have to think about Harry in front of him.

“We have a connection Lou, don’t try and deny it. I have the best times of my life when I’m with you. You can’t say everything that we’ve been through these past months has meant nothing to you.” he sees Harry gulp and bite his lip sadly, “because they meant everything to me, everything Lou, every second I spent with you.” He lays a soft hand on Louis’ cheek “didn’t you feel it?” he looks into Louis’ eyes with earnest green ones of his own and Louis has to fight back a sob. He’s never going to look into these eye again after this but he has to do it, has to push Harry away because he’s too damn stubborn to take a hint and leave on his own accord. He has to get him to go away before he finds out Louis’ in love with him and decides Louis isn’t worth it.

“Lou, please,” he searches Louis’ eyes “Please say something” he begs, his eyes look watery and Louis’ heart shatters into a millions pieces.

He pulls away from Harry’s hand and makes a decision then and there. Harry needs to be out of his life. He was honestly going to stay friends with him he was, that had been the plan the whole time but now, now looking at this beautiful boy in front of him he knows if they stay friends he’ll always be itching to touch, itching to kiss. He needs him gone, or he’ll never fall out of love with him. He turns around because he can’t bear to say it to his face, can’t bear to lie to his face. Doesn’t want to see the hurt he knows will be there. He knows in the long run this is what’s best for Harry, he deserves someone so much better. He’ll realize that sooner or later. But why does it have to be so damn hard?

“It was nothing to me, you were there to pass the time and have some fun, that’s it. And yeah you were a great shag but that’s over. I’ve never felt anything for you, whatever you’re going on about, it just isn’t mutual. I don’t feel it.”

His heart is screaming out at him to just turn around and tell Harry he’s lying that he loves him and he _does_ feel it, feels everything, to the point where he could drown in the love he has for this boy. But his brain shuts it up. No, this is necessary, Louis is doing them both a favor.

“Just leave Harry,” he gets out around a sob and he hears Harry’s breath hitch and a shaky whimper escape his lips.

“Lou-” he says shakily but Louis cuts him off.

“I said leave.”

Harry suddenly rounds on him with a fire in his eyes and Louis has to step back in surprise at the anger on his face. He doesn’t think he’s ever seen Harry get mad since he met him.

“Fuck you Louis Tomlinson,” Harry says, his vice gruff with unshed tears. Louis has to hold back another sob as Harry reaches into his pocket and pulls out the keys to his flat, throwing them angrily onto the counter as tears start to stream down his face and then turns and stalks out of the shop in defeat. Louis’ eyes follow the dejected curve of his back as he leaves and he doesn’t even try to brush away the tears that roll down his face.

***

The next day as Louis makes his way into Wildfire for his morning shift he sees Harry unlocking the door to his shop next door. He glances at him and they lock eyes for a second before Harry’s eyes turn stormy and he breaks their gaze.

Usually he’d smile and wave or be stupidly endearing and tip an imaginary hat at Louis before making his way into his own shop but he just glares at the door as he unlocks it and then quietly slips inside, not looking at Louis again.

It hurts. Louis knows this is what he wants, to stop seeing Harry and to get over him. But he didn’t realize how much of his life the other boy had become a part of.

The counter in Wildfire looks too empty without Harry’s bag lying across it and the back table barren without the petals that always fall out of Harry’s crowns. The chair beside him too empty and the air devoid of the warmth Harry always provided wherever he went. It’s too quiet this early in the morning when barely anyone comes into the shop and Louis misses being able to call Harry and put him on speaker, letting his deep rasp fill the emptiness in the shop.

He can’t do that now and so he sits in silence and sketches, cursing himself when he ends up with dozens of drawings of flower crowns and wild curls across his page.

He angrily rips the page out of his sketch book and violently throws it into the trash across the room, groaning when he misses completely.

He feels a hand land on his shoulder and jumps in surprise. No one else is supposed to be here but him. Fuck it’s probably a thief, although why a thief would rob a tattoo parlor of all places he has no idea.

Whatever, Louis does not feel like dealing with a robbery right now. He honestly has the worst luck. He braces himself as he turns around.

“Hey, you okay Lou?” Tom asks and Louis sighs in relief.

“What are you doing here?”

Tom smiles sadly at him, the same smile Zayn’s been giving him all week when he finds Louis curled up on his couch, eyes puffy with tears. “I thought I’d keep you company, I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

“I’m not a child, I don’t need to be looked after.” Louis says crossing his arms stubbornly. Ever since the Harry incident, as Zayn had dubbed it, everyone has been treating him like he’s this fragile thing, like one wrong word and he’ll break down sobbing. It’s fucking getting on his nerves, who cares if it might be true, it’s still fucking annoying.

“I know Lou I never said you did, I just thought maybe talking to someone about it might help, I know how much you loved him, hell everyone knew, I think even he vaguely knew.”

Louis sighs in frustration, “Then why didn’t any of you fucking tell me?”

“Lou, you had to figure it out yourself. I know how you feel about love and relationships and all that shit, but Harry’s different you have to see that.”

Louis feels anger starting to bubble in his chest, why does everyone think he’s doing the wrong thing? Can’t they see this is the only way to make sure he doesn’t get hurt again? “Look, I get it Tom, I know Harry’s an amazing guy and I do value what you have to say but I just can’t. I really don’t want to talk about this, I’m supposed to be working right now anyway.”

With that he gets up and makes his way to the back room.

During his lunch break Louis tries his hardest not to look into the clear windows of Harry’s shop as he passes by but he can’t help himself. He knows Harry has a shift right now and he knows that Harry loves his job and that even if Louis won’t ever be the cause of his smile again he needs to see it one last time. He can’t let his last image of Harry be one of stormy green eyes and tears streaming down his cheeks. He can’t.

As he looks discreetly into the shop he sees Harry crouched down in front of a little boy, straightening a crown of daisies on his head and smiling down at him. The boy is looking up at Harry with something that looks like awe and Harry is practically glowing back at him.

Louis feels a smile tug at the corners of his mouth at the sight. Harry’s fine. He’ll be fine without Louis. And Louis will be fine without him soon enough.

Louis walks into the coffee shop with a bit more spring in his step after that and he sidles up to the counter before smiling at Eleanor who sets a scone and tea in front of him without him even asking.

“You’re a blessing El,” he says beaming before biting into the scone and sighing.

“You look happier,” Eleanor leans against the counter and grins, “You talked to Harry?”

Louis splutters on the scone in his mouth and glares up at the girl.

“Why do you think Harry’s the only think that could make me happy? I have plenty of other reasons to be happy.” He crosses his arms stubbornly and stares her down.

Eleanor just laughs, “Fine Lou, look me in the eyes and tell me that smile on your face isn’t because of Harry.”

Louis blinks back at her before glaring, “Well technically yes it’s because of him,” Eleanor shrieks in excitement, cutting him off.

“Oh my god are you two official? I knew it, fuck he’s perfect for you I’m so glad you-“

Louis cuts her off sharply ‘No, we are not official and we never will be, I’m happy because I saw him today and now I know he’ll be fine without me so I know what I did was right okay?”

Eleanor glares at him and Louis sighs under his breath, no one understands but he is doing the right thing.

“You’re a bloody idiot Lou, just so you know. That boy loves you with all he’s got and I know you love him just as much, I hate seeing you throw this away.”

“You just don’t understand.” Louis replies before leaving her at the counter.

As he makes his way back into Wildfire he sees Harry exit his shop from the corner of his eye. His breath hitches in his throat and he quickly darts inside before Harry sees him.

Or at least that’s what he thinks until he turns around and sees Harry staring at him through the glass door of the shop.

They’re so close, just a thin layer of glass between them and he watches with a sinking heart as Harry’s eyes dart over his body.

He has bags under his eyes that Louis hadn’t seen earlier and his skin looks red and blotchy as if he’s been crying, but worst of all his eyes are dull and dark, all traces of the bright familiar green Louis used to stare into all the time gone. Louis’ blood runs cold,

He feels a tear slip down his cheek just as Harry places a hand onto the door to push it open.

And no, no Harry cannot come in here, no. Louis quickly spins on his heel and runs into the back room, slamming the door behind him and leaning against it to catch his breath.

He was wrong, Harry’s not alright, and neither is he.

But there’s nothing he can do about it now.

***

“Switch shifts with me at Wildfire Z,” Louis says from the floor of Zayn’s living room where he’s holding a can of beer and trying to stop thinking about Harry and the sadness in his eyes.

Zayn looks at him wearily, “Why?”

“Harry has a lot of shifts the same time as mine and I’m scared he’ll try and talk to me again. He knows my schedule Zayn, I need to change it, please.” He looks at the other boy with wide pleading eyes. “I can’t face him again after last time.”

“Lou you can’t keep doing this, both of you are miserable. Talk to him, work it out. This avoiding each other thing isn’t working.”

“I bloody can’t Zayn you know that.”

Zayn glares at him, “No Lou, I’ve tried to be supportive of your decision but you’ve got to see that this isn’t healthy. You cry yourself to sleep every night, yes I hear you, and you look bloody miserable all the time. You’re trying to avoid heartbreak by doing this right?”

Louis nods mutely, not knowing where Zayn’s going with this.

“Well you’re already there you twat, this _is_ being heartbroken.”

“I don’t fucking care what you think.” Louis mutters under his breath before grabbing his jacket and stomping out of the flat and to his motorcycle.

His blood in boiling in his veins and he lets angry tears fall down his face as the bitter wind whips around him.

Without thinking he drives himself to the abandoned playground he and Harry had found. As soon as he’s made it to the dead end he flings himself off the bike and falls to the ground sobbing.

Zayn’s right, he is heartbroken, he was too late, it’s happened again, and it’s so much worse because Harry was everything. Harry had made him forget about his past but now he can’t stop thinking about it.

The way Jake just threw him aside as if everything they had been through meant nothing. The words undesirable and inexperienced running in a loop around his head.

His classmates’ jeering faces flashing through his mind. The names he was called to his face and behind his back crowding into his brain. Hiding in the bathroom to avoid being beaten up.

He pulls at his hair in anger and frustration and sobs harder as the images keep flashing through his mind. Every single time he’d felt worthless and unloved fliting through his brain and making his chest hurt so bad it feel like its splitting open. He doesn’t ever want to think about it again but the walls he’d built up have come crashing down and everything is flooding through and he can’t make it stop.

He tries to get a grip and the thought of green eyes and warm hands against his hips get him to calm down and Louis knows he’s fucked. He’s fucked bad.

As he calms his breathing and lies on the grass in front of the playground looking up at the same stars he and Harry had looked at the time they had spent the night here, he sighs and faces the truth.

He loves Harry, he needs him. And that’s not going to go away anytime soon.

***

A few days go by in which Louis successfully doesn’t see Harry once.

He does successfully have three more panic attacks though. But yeah he’s fine, he is. Or he will be as soon as he figures out something other than Harry that can ground him and stop the fucking attacks from happening.

He’s having a surprisingly nice day, sitting on his couch with Lux on his chest watching cartoons on the telly when Zayn barges into the flat.

Louis looks up at him with a frown.

“Every heard of knocking?”

“I have something for you,” Zayn says, ignoring Louis’ question.

Louis makes no move to get up, too comfy where he is.

Zayn takes an envelope out of his bag, holding it out to Louis, “It’s from Harry, he gave it to me today at work, said to give it to you.”

Louis’ eyes widen at that and he lifts Lux off of himself to which she grumbles out a protest until Zayn comes and takes Louis’ spot under her.

Louis snatched the envelope from Zayn’s hand and runs his hands over the familiar scrawl across the front.

_Lou…_

He feels a lump form in his throat just looking at the one word and has to blink back tears.

God, he’s getting emotional over Harry’s bloody handwriting for fuck sake. He can’t break down here.

He grabs his jacket and asks if Zayn can watch Lux while he’s gone.

“Yeah sure Lou,” he looks at him seriously, “Are you okay?”

Louis gulps around the lump in his throat, “Honestly? I don’t know.”

He drives back to the playground again, he doesn’t know why, just knows he needs somewhere quiet and familiar to read this note and it was the first place he thought of.

He makes his way to the creaky swing and sits down with a huff. He can hear echoes of his and Harry’s quiet laughter in the wind that swirls around him and he smiles a bit to himself.

He pulls out the envelope and sighs because it even smells sweet of roses just like Harry and fuck Louis misses him so much.

He carefully tears it open and takes out the letter skimming his eyes across the words. Harry’s usually neat scrawl is messy as if Harry’s hands had been shaking as he wrote the words and Louis feels a swoop in his chest at the thought.

_Hey Lou,_

_I never told you what the red rose meant, I guess I was too scared to be honest. Maybe if I had said it sooner it might have made a difference but now I’ve got nothing to lose…. So love. The red one meant love. I love you Lou, and I don’t know if you still love me or ever did but I wanted you to know. You won’t speak to me in person but I really needed to tell you and this is the only way I could think of. I know someone hurt you, I know it made you scared of love and think it’s a horrible thing, but if you give me a chance I promise to prove you wrong._

_Love Always_

_H._

Louis stares at the paper shocked. His eyes run over the four words over and over, making sure he didn’t read them wrong.

  _I love you Lou_.

Fuck, Harry loves him. Harry fucking loves him. He feels tears prick at his eyes. This makes it so much worse, he’s hurt Harry.

Fuck he needs so fix this somehow. It doesn’t matter how much it hurts to see Harry one more time, he has to explain, has to tell him why he can’t be with him. He has to tell him about Jake.

He gets up from the swing and looks around, it’s starting to get dark and shadows fall over Harry’s scrawled words on the paper.

Louis gulps and folds the paper up and stuffs it in his pocket.

He practices what he’s going to say over and over in his head as he drives to Harry’s flat and climbs the steps to his floor. His blood is pounding in his head so loud he can barely hear himself think and his hands are trembling but he’s determined to do this, he owes Harry this much at least.

His heart is thudding in his chest as he knocks on the door and waits with baited breath. This is it, he’s going to tell Harry about his fucked up past and then he’ll understand why Louis can’t be with him. This is probably the last time Louis will ever talk to Harry and that fucking kills him.

He waits but he never gets an answer, it’s dead silent in the hall and Louis feels a surge of disappointment.

“Harry, it’s me Louis, I got your letter.” He tries calling through the door but gets no answer.

“Haz, we really need to talk.”

Nothing. Louis sighs, of course Harry doesn’t want to see him, Louis basically broke his heart by dropping him without an explanation or a warning. Louis wouldn’t want to talk to himself either.

He sighs in dejection and slinks back to his motorcycle and makes his way back home, disappointment pooling in his gut.

He really wanted to see those green eyes and blinding smile one last time.

As he makes his way into the building Liam stops him on his way to the lift.

“Hey Lou, before you go up can I just say something?”

Louis stops in his tracks shrugs, “um, sure,”

“Don’t break his heart again.” Liam looks at him with wide honest puppy eyes and Louis feels himself nodding even though he doesn’t have a clue what Liam’s going on about.

He confusedly smiles at Liam and makes his way to the lift. As the doors close he finally lets himself collapse and lean against the wall of the lift, tears stinging his eyes again.

Harry hates him and Louis won’t ever get to apologize. He takes the crumpled note out of him pocket and runs his hands over It, stopping at the four messily scrawled words.

When he reaches his floor he stuffs the note away again and composes himself in case Lux and Zayn are still at his flat and tries to walk with his head held high to his door.

He stops in his tracks though when he sees a slumped form curled up right next to his door.

His eyes widen and he quickens his pace stuttering to a stop when he realizes its Harry.

So that’s what Liam had meant.

He feels relief flood into his veins, he wasn’t home, he was here, he doesn’t hate him.

“Haz,” he breathes, and Harry looks up at him with those green, green eyes that hold so much familiarity, so much warmth.

“Louis,” he says softly, smiling at him and standing up from his spot.

And here looking at Harry in front of him who’s smiling so warm and soft at him even though Louis fucked him over in the worst way possible, Louis realizes this boy could never ever hurt him.

This boy is not Jake, this boy would never use things he knew about Louis to hurt him and manipulate him. This boy would never make him feel worthless.

“Haz-“ he starts at the same time Harry says his name.

“No,” Harry holds up a hand, “I need to say this.”

Louis nods and shuts his mouth staring into Harry’s eyes, he sees a fire there, but not anger this time, this looks more like passion, determination. He’s gorgeous.

“Look Lou, I know you’re scared of love, scared to be with me even though I know you care no matter what you told me that day at Wildfire. But I need to tell you one last thing before you decide you’re done with me.” He takes a shuddering breath and Louis almost reaches out to steady him but stops himself at the last second.

“I need you to know that I love every fucking thing about you even if you don’t believe I do. I love the way your eyelashes flutter when we kiss. I love how soft and raspy your voice is first thing in the morning, I love how your eyes shine when you look at Lux. I love how you listen to me talk about flowers for ages and not look like you’re bored even though I know you have no idea what I’m saying. I love how you connect with every person you tattoo on a personal level.”

He stops and chuckles.

“I love how fucking hot you look on your motorcycle. I love how you get giggly when we have sex. I love how small your hands are compared to mine. I love how your eye color changes depending on your mood, and most of all I love that you’re the bravest person I’ve ever met.” He steps closer to Louis and Louis tries to calm the rapid beating of his heart and tame the warmth making its way into his chest at Harry’s words.

“I’ve been fucking miserable without you and no offense but you look just as miserable as I feel so why are we doing this to ourselves?”

“Okay,” Louis says in a rushed breath, because Harry’s right he is miserable, has been since the day he tried to cut himself off from what is quite possibly the best thing to ever happen to him. He’s a bloody idiot. He just wants to be happy again. Wants to wake up with a warm body next to him and curls in his hair. Wants to be able to giggle into Harry’s mouth and cuddle into his side like he used to. He just wants it back.

Harry stops moving towards him and looks at Louis with wide eyes as if he had expected him to argue.

“What?” he stutters over the word and Louis smiles slightly at him.

“Okay, prove me wrong.” Louis says looking into Harry’s eyes and walking closer determinedly. He knows it might be stupid, letting someone in again but he’s sure now that Harry loves him just as much as he loves Harry so he has to give it a shot. And he’s starting to become sure that this won’t end like last time.

“You read the letter,” Harry breathes just as Louis makes it into his space.

“Yeah,” Louis breathes, lips a centimeter away from his, “Yeah, I read it Haz,” he brushes their lips ever so softly, barely touching. Sparks still spring into his vision and a familiar warmth crawls its way through his body.

“And guess what?” he continues softly.

“What?” Harry rasps out, a small smiles playing at his lips.

Louis grins, a happiness he hasn’t felt in what feels like ages lighting up his chest, he missed that smile.

“I love you too.”

The ghost of a smile turns into a blinding one, stretching wide across Harry’s face and lighting up his eyes.

God Louis missed that smile so, so much. He laughs giddily and pushes himself closer to the other boy and when he looks into his eyes he sees they’re dark and hungry.

The playfulness evaporates completely at that and Louis feels arousal shoot into his abdomen.

“Say it again,” Harry demands, voice deep and raspy.

Louis gulps, blood rushing straight to his dick. He quickly pushes Harry against the door and crowds into his space.

“I love you Harry Styles,” he whispers into his skin and Harry groans deep in his throat.

“You’re so fucking hot, you drive me crazy.” He gets out in a grunt, pulling Louis closer, gripping his arse and grinding into him with a gasp.

Louis whimpers into his neck and moves into the touch, fluttering his eyes shut at the feeling of Harry against him again.

He brings his head up to connect their lips in a filthy kiss, licking deep into Harry’ mouth and swallowing his moans.

When Harry’s hands make their way to the bottom of Louis’ thread bare shirt and he tugs, Louis breaks them apart.

“Inside,” he breathes.

Harry pouts, eyes still dark, “I thought you liked my exhibitionism?” 

Louis shakes his head, “I want to fuck you proper Haz, not a messy blowjob.”

Harry takes a deeps breath and runs his tongue over his lips slowly.

“I can get behind that.” He lets out in a rushed breath before kissing Louis again, hard and desperate.

Louis reaches behind him for the doorknob and gets it open, Harry’s lips still attached to his and they both laugh in triumph against each other’s lips when the door flies open behind them, before stumbling into the flat.

They’re interrupted by a high pitched voice yelling out “Hazza!” paired with a pained scream and then a thump.

They spring apart to find Lux and Zayn on the floor next to the couch where it looks like Zayn had fallen in his haste to cover Lux’s eyes. He’s looking at the two of them with a glare.

Louis can see straight past it though, his eyes are sparkling in poorly concealed amusement as he slowly uncovers Lux’s eyes and shakes a disciplinary finger at the two boys.

“Shame on you for scarring this poor five year old,”

Harry and Louis turn to each other and then to Lux who is looking at the two of them consideringly and burst out laughing.

***

Later when they’re lying in bed, Harry’s fingers tracing shapes onto Louis arms soothingly, he finally gets the courage to tell him.

He taps Harry’s shoulder so the other boy turns to face him, eyes soft and sparkling. Louis feels a warmth spread through him under his gaze and he can’t stop himself from leaning forward and pecking his lips once, just because he can.

After he pulls away Harry smiles up at him and Louis feels the words just tumble out of him. He’d spent a lot of time trying to figure out how to tell Harry about Jake. Had thought about starting way at the beginning when they’d met, had thought about going backwards but no way he tried to phrase it in his head seemed to work. Now though, he knows he needs to start with Harry, and how Harry is different, everything just comes spilling out of him like a waterfall after that.

“You were right you know?” he says softly, “I was hurt by someone, and it left me broken for a long time after.” He looks up at Harry and sees he’s turned fully around so that he can look straight into Louis’ eyes.

His face seems to have darkened and he’s looking at Louis with a sort of concentration he’s never seen Harry have. His brows furrowed and lips pulled down in a frown.

Louis tries not to stutter over his words as he goes on, “By the time I met you I had thought that I was over it.”

“Thought?” Harry asks quietly, breaking his silence to sit up in the bed and pull the duvet over his legs before pulling Louis into his lap.

Louis presses himself into Harry’s warm chest and runs his fingers over the butterfly tattoo as he starts speaking again.

Pressed against Harry’s chest, his warmth enveloping him, it’s not as hard to go on. “Until I met you I didn’t realize that I had just been bottling everything inside and pretending I was okay when I really wasn’t. You gave me an actual reason to fix myself Haz. Whenever I was with you I was always struck by how whole, and how wonderfully happy you were. I wanted that, I wanted to be able to not give a fuck and sing at the top of my lungs again, I wanted to go on midnight adventures without being paranoid. I wanted to be whole again because you reminded me how much better it was even if you didn’t realize it.” He stops to take a breath and look up at Harry.

To his surprise he finds tears falling down his cheeks and he quickly brushes them away as Harry lets out a watery chuckle.

“Look at me crying when you’re the one who’s been through shit, I- Lou, I’m so, so sorry you felt like that.”

Louis swallows hard around the lump in his throat and feel tears spring into his own eyes as he looks into Harry’s glassy ones.

Here is this boy who is sat here crying because he found out Louis felt broken. How the bloody hell did he think this boy could ever hurt him?

He smiles slightly before pushing closer into Harry’s warmth, “Oh Haz,” he murmurs into the soft skin of his chest, “You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, none of this is your fault.”

Harry pulls away with a sort of fire in his eyes, “Then whose fault is it huh? I should have realized how you were feeling and tried to help, I should have figured out who hurt you and made them fucking pay for breaking someone as precious and wonderful as you, I should have-“

Louis interrupts his impassioned speech with a soft chuckle, “You know that wouldn’t have helped love.”

Harry pauses, eyes flitting to Louis’, they’re still vibrant with emotion and anger and Louis thinks he could probably drown in the feeling in his eyes.

“I-“ Harry closes his eyes and takes a long deep breath, Louis rising and falling with his stomach as he does.

When he’s sufficiently calm he opens his eyes again and looks down at Louis.

Louis smiles at him and his grin widens as Harry replies with a dimpled smile of his own.

“I’m sorry, I just love you so bloody much the thought of anyone hurting you makes me so fucking angry.”

Louis laughs softly, amazement that someone actually feels like this about him filling his chest. He’s never had someone care so much about him. Never had someone go into a fit of rage just because someone hurt him. It feels surprisingly nice.

“If I tell you a story do you promise not to do something crazy like drive down to Doncaster and kill someone?” he jokes, trying to lighten the mood before he sets into the story he’s been avoiding for so long.

Harry nods solemnly, “Yeah, promise Lou,” he breathes out.

“It all started when I was 17, the lads and I had managed to get into the biggest New Year’s party in Doncaster..”

_Louis is drunk on life, and possible tequila. He’d lost Stan and the others ages ago and keeps having people shove drinks into his hand. Not that he’s complaining. 17 years old and at the biggest party in all of Doncaster, life can’t get much better than this._

_He stumbles his way across the room to the door of the balcony, hoping for a breath of fresh air after having spent hours in a room that smelled of sweat and alcohol. He’s stopped by a hand on his shoulder and he spins around, ready to give whoever is stalling him from getting the breathe of fresh air he so desperately needs a piece of his mind but the words die in his throat. The boy in front of him is fucking fit._

_Louis lets his eyes roam his body, taking in the bulge of his biceps under his tight t-shirt and the light dusting of freckles over his rosy cheeks. His blonde hair is in a soft fringe over his eyes and his blue eyes are sparkling in amusement._

_“You’re completely wasted mate, if you go out there I’m sure you’d fall right of the balcony and split your head open.”_

_Louis regains his ability to speak and pulls his arm away from the unfairly attractive stranger._

_“M’ perfectly capable of handling m’self” he slurs, struggling to stand upright without the grounding hand that had been on his shoulder._

_“Sure, you are,” the boy giggles, “But could I possibly accompany you to the balcony?”_

_Louis hums and pretends to think about it, a hot boy out on the balcony with him? What could go wrong? Well a lot of things could but Louis’ too drunk to actually care._

_The two make their way to the balcony, Louis leaning on the other boy more than he’d care to admit._

_When they make it to the balcony Louis’ hit with a rush of cold air and feels himself sobering up as the two of them settle down on the chairs._

_“I’m Jake by the way.” The boy says smiling over at Louis._

_Louis smiles back, biting his lip._

_Next thing he knows he’s climbing into Jake’s lap and looking down at him through his eyelashes._

_Nope, he’s definitely still drunk, but he can’t resist. This boy’s eyes are so fucking blue and his lips look so fucking soft, Louis sways forward without even thinking, his lips about to press to Jake’s but he’s met with the sharp feel of stubble against his lips instead._

_He pulls away confused for a second and giggles when he realizes what happened._

_“Missed, I missed” he mumbles to himself before giggling softly into his hand again and dropping his head, which feels like is weights a ton, onto Jakes shoulder, obviously that was a hyperbole his head doesn’t actually weigh a ton, how much is a ton actually? Do elephants weigh a ton? He’s pretty sure he read that somewhere. He should look that up when he’s a little bit more sober and can actually work the internet._

_Jake lets out a throaty laugh and Louis is pulled out of his elephant themed thoughts._

_“I think we need to get you home tiny little lad”_

_Louis heart jumps at that and he lifts his head up a bit to argue tiredly,_

_“m’ not tiny”_

_Just as he says that they hear the group inside start chanting the countdown_

_10…9…8…7…_

_Louis smiles at Jake and bring his face closer, he’s never actually kissed a boy before, even though he knows he prefers boys much more to girls by now. He’s just never actually gone around to doing it because, and not that he’d ever admit this to himself while sober, but well, he’s heard what people think of gays, he’s heard the things his classmates and friends say about gay people. But right now he’s too drunk to care what this could potentially do._

_6…5…4…3…_

_Jake looks back at him and smiles, making no move to get up and join the fun going on inside._

_2…1…_

_There’s a rush of noise inside as party poppers are popped, confetti is thrown, and people yell out Happy New Year in unison_

_Louis turns to Jake and before he can change his mind, surges forward and kisses him straight on the mouth. It’s nothing like kissing girls. This gives him goosebumps down his back in a way he’s never felt before. It feels right in a way he never though kissing could feel. He smiles against the other boy’s lips as Jake wraps his arms around Louis’ back and pulls him closer._

_When they pull away Jake looks back at him wide eyed and Louis laughs quietly,_

_“I didn’t miss this time”_

_Jake starts laughing with him at that, “Happy New Year”_

Louis feels a lump in his throat as he looks up at Harry, who smiles down at him reassuringingly so he takes a deep breath and continues.

“He took me home that night and left his number in my phone. We eventually became a thing. Those months into spring were the best of my life. I was young and fearless, I loved him and I though he loved me back.”

“Oh Lou,” Harr mumbles sadly into his shoulder and kisses his skin softly. Louis shivers at the touch and hides his face in Harry’s neck.

“I was in the closet though, and I could tell Jake hated it. He hated pretending he was just my mate and he hated having to sneak away to get any alone time. I understood obviously but I was only 17 H, I was scared and he kept pressuring me, but one day he had had enough.”

_Louis presses his ear to the door and waits for his mum’s footsteps to disappear down the stairs. He then moves to the window to make sure she actually left the house before turning to Jake with a wide smile and stepping closer._

_To Louis’ dismay Jake steps away and glares down at him._

_“What’s wrong?” Louis asks dread pooling in his stomach, Jake isn’t fun to be around when he’s mad._

_“I can’t do this anymore Louis, I can’t keep fucking hiding because you’re too ashamed to just admit you’re gay.”_

_Louis feels like he’s been punched in the gut._

_“I- what? I’m not ashamed of being gay, I just, I know people will react negatively. You have to understand that Jake.”_

_“No,” Jake steps closer to him, his eyes dark with rage, “You’re a fucking coward.”_

_Louis steps backwards and feels a tear slip down his cheek, this boy he loves is standing in front of him telling him he’s a coward without a single trace of remorse on his face, this boy that is supposed to love him. He takes another step back in disbelief and his back hits the wall._

_“No please Jake,“ he whimpers out, “I love you.”_

_“We’re over Louis I don’t want to be with a coward like you.”_

_“But-“ he’s cut off by Jake turning to leave. Louis feels fucking useless, Jake doesn’t even look upset to be ending this. They’ve been together for a year and a half now._

_“Don’t you dare walk out that door,” Louis begs in between tears, “Don’t you dare throw away the last year and a half because of something as small as this.”_

_“This isn’t fucking small Louis.”_

_Louis flinches, Jake never calls him Louis, only Lou. He doesn’t know what to do so he just stares as Jake puts his hand back on the doorknob again. He still doesn’t look like he cares and that’s what kills Louis the most. None of it mattered to him as much as it did to Louis._

_“Wait!” Louis yells at the last second, coming up to him and putting his hand over Jake’s_

_Jake shakes him off violently and turns to him with a glare._

_“I’ll do anything, please I swear, I love you, don’t leave.” He begs, tears rolling steadily down his face. He doesn’t care if Jake doesn’t care as much as he does. He loves him. He’s the first person he’s ever loved. He’s not going to let him get away._

_Jake smiles a horrible smile._

_“Then do it, tell everyone you’re gay”_

“And I did”

Harry’s eyes widen underneath him and Louis feels a sob get lodged in his throat. This is the worst part.

“I was naïve, I though the Jake I saw that day was just a one time thing that his anger had caused and that coming out would fix everything. I was blinded by how much I loved him and I let him pressure me into something I wasn’t ready to do.”

“Lou, I am so sorry babe, you didn’t deserve that.”

Louis sighs and doesn’t answer, just pushes farther into Harry’s safe arms.

“I came out and it went over fine with my family they’re all wonderful and supportive even though I had to explain to the twins what exactly being gay meant.” He chuckles lowly and Harry grins as well. “It didn’t go well at school. My friends all ostracized me except for Stan and the entire school suddenly hated me and thought I was disgusting. I got beat up regularly and wouldn’t go home for days because I didn’t want my mum or sisters to see. I was ashamed. ”

Louis feels himself start to shake at the memories and prays to god he doesn’t have a panic attack right here while trying to tell this fucking mess of a story that was his life.

Before it can get worse Harry lays a soft hand on Louis’ cheek and whispers,

“It’s okay Lou, you’re fine you’re safe.” 

He feels all his energy zero in on the touch and the sound of Harry’ raspy voice. Slowly his breathing turns steadier so he can continue.

“Thank you” he says before going on and Harry smiles softly down at him in reply, rubbing a hand up his shoulder.

 “I told myself it was okay though because I still had Jake who I loved so much. But then he broke up with me a week later, saying I was too young and inexperienced for him, leaving me to deal with the repercussions of a coming out I hadn't been ready for alone."

Harry’s eyes harden and he sits up straight.

“I’ll kill that fucking bastard, I swear. He had no fucking right. I’ll kill him.”

Louis laughs sadly, “You promised you’d stay calm H.”

Harry takes a deep breath and Louis sees that he visibly has to restrain himself. Louis smiles to himself just a bit. This boy really does love him. He’s the least violent person in the world yet here he is talking about committing murder for Louis.

“I decided I wasn’t going to go to the uni I got into because it was in Donny and too many of my classmates were going I couldn’t deal with the last year of high school all over again. I convinced my mum to let me go to London without any real plans. I just knew I needed a fresh start.”

_Louis mutters to himself as he tries to find the keys to his shitty motel room ad curses under his breath when he can’t seem to find them in his pockets._

_How did he think coming to London without any way to get money for a flat or knowing anyone and having no plan whatsoever was a good idea? He’s so fucking stupid, he’s pathetic. Everyone back home was right he's a royal a fuck up._

_He sighs in frustration and pushes the tears threatening to fall down his cheek away before turning away from the still locked door._

_He leaves the building and finds the closest pub to the motel, sitting dejectedly onto a bar stool and using what’s left of the money he brought with him to buy one drink after another._

_He hopes it’ll just make him stop feeling. That’s the aim. He doesn’t want to hear everything people called him in his head anymore. He’s tired of fucking hurting all the time._

_As he’s just about to down another drink a firm hand on his shoulder stops him._

_“I don’t think you should drink that mate, you’re going to pass out.”_

_Louis’ hit with a rush of nostalgia, remembering how Jake told him almost the exact same thing the day they met. He smiles softly and then groans at himself, Jake is a fucking dick, Louis is supposed to hate him yet he can’t bring himself to. He’s still fucking in love with the bloke even after everything he did. How he manipulated Louis into doing what he wanted and then broke up with him a week later because he was too fucking young and undesirable._

_Louis wants to punch a wall, but he’s to intoxicated to actually be able to do that so instead he turns on the stool and stares the man who stopped him down._

_“You can’t fucking tell me what to do!” he slurs out rather unconvincingly._

_The man just chuckles and sits down next to Louis on the bar stool._

_“I’m Tom,” he introduces himself as if Louis hadn’t just basically snapped at him two seconds ago._

_Louis considers him. The man has tattoos up and down his arms but he’s skinny and not all that threatening overall. So Louis decides telling this harmless man who he probably won’t ever see again his name doesn’t matter._

_“Louis,” he says slowly, his tongue feeling too big for his mouth. Is that a side effect of alcohol? Louis doesn’t know nor does he care all that much._

_“So, what’s a young lad like you doing getting smashed so early on a Tuesday night?”_

“I don’t know if it was the fact that I was absolutely smashed or if I somehow subconsciously knew I could trust Tom, but I ended up telling him everything. He offered me a job then and there even though I had very little experience. He was my savior. I met Zayn and Lux on my first day and the rest is history. “

When Louis looks up he’s surprised to see tears tracks down Harry’s face.

“Oh, Lou, if I had known, if I had realized, “ he shakes his head sadly, “I should have fucking realized how you felt. I feel terrible. You didn’t deserve any of that. Jake is a fucking dick and I’d kill him if you didn’t make me promise not to."

"The point of this wasn't to make you hate Jake H, I just needed you to know why I pushed you away. I'd promised myself after Jake I wouldn't let anyone get close enough to hurt me like that again." He looks at Harry with a half smile. "At least that is, until I met you."  

Harry smiles back at him sadly. "I'd rather die than ever hurt you Lou, I love you so much."

Louis smiles, feeling like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

Harry still loves him, Louis laid himself bare, showed him every ugly dirty secret of his and Harry still loves him despite that.

Louis breaks down sobbing.

***

A couple hours later after Harry has gotten Louis to calm down and the two are curled up on the couch watching shitty telly, there’s a knock on the door and then a commotion outside.

“Are you decent?” comes Eleanor’s voice through the door. Louis looks up at Harry through his eyelashes and giggles.

“Yeah," Harry calls out, a smile identical to Louis’ playing on his lips.

Eleanor barges in, Liam, Niall, and Zayn in tow.

“We gave you twelve hours to get the sex out of your system.” Zayn explains.

“It was fucking torture,” Nialls complains as Liam nods his head solemnly from behind him.

“You lot are much too invested in my love life,” Louis jokes from Harry’s lap.

“Just want you to be happy Lou,” Liam says softly.

Louis smiles wide, looking at the rooms full of people he loves, people who just want what’s best for him and always have. He turns back to Liam,

“I know, and I think I am.”

He looks at Harry, takes in his blinding grin, his sparkling green eyes and thinks that’s mine. He might not be completely over what happened. He'll probably still have lots of fucking bad days but this is a start. 

“I think I finally am.”

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's everything. It finished!! I'm so emotional omg. This fic has been my baby for so long. I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it! Comments and Kudos are appreciated <3333


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